What is the single scene like for a 30 something? (Murfreesboro: best cities, transplants)

[snailsfordeedee]

Hello all!

I'm a long time lurker of this forum, and have made a couple of moves in my lifetime with the help of CD. I'm hoping you can help with my question!

I spent the majority of my life in El Paso, TX and Las Cruces, NM. I did a short stint in Portland before I took a job in NYC.

I have two job offers on the table - one in NYC and one in Nashville. Nashville really feels like a no brainer to me. My dad worked there for a couple of years and speaks highly of it. The job was actually created specifically for me after I interviewed for another position. The pay is ~ $20k over the NYC offer, it would allow me to save a bit more to finally put a down payment on a home, and my dog would have more space.

Don't get me wrong, I've enjoyed my time in NYC, but the main draw for me is the theater. I'm usually so wiped out from the crowds, the noise, the shoving on the subway, and my day to day in general that I never actually even want to go do anything outside of work. I miss open spaces immensely.

So here's where my question comes in. The list of pros for the Nashville job far outweigh the pros for NY.........but I work with a couple transplants from Nashville who warn me the dating scene is going to be really hard for a 30 year old single female. They told me they moved because the growth in Nashville has "killed the vibe." But surely the growth has also brought in people of all ages and walks of like - including single 30-something men? I've also been warned that it's a "sea of Carrie Underwoods" which makes dating even harder lol.

I was wondering if anyone can chime in on the dating scene. It really is the one thing that's making me a bit nervous about the potential move. Thanks so much!

[shinestx]

You should visit first! If you're looking for Wall Street types, then you should stay in NYC. If you want more earthy types, there are plenty of single young men and women in Nashville. As you'd expect, the Nashville "scene" is nothing like the Manhattan "scene". With the latter, you'll have more variety. With the former, IMHO people are more approachable because Nashville definitely a laid back city. Not a city where people push/shove their way along the sidewalks. I too lived in Manhattan for a short time and found it to be extremely stressful. That was a reason it was hard to meet people there. Everyone seemed to have their guard up.

The point: Visit Nashville for more than a couple of days. Drive around. Go out to places that are not the tourist hangouts. Do what the locals do. Talk to them. If the people you know who moved from Nashville to NYC are natives (or lived there most of their lives) then a change of scenery and the excitement of the big city are quite understandable. Also, if they are married or paired with a mate, then they are less likely to understand your situation. Did they meet their s.o. in Nashville. If so, then that might help answer your questions.

[VoxTerra]

I was there for a few weeks last Spring and the men there are so pleasant and kind. I'm married, but it was a pleasure to see how sweet the guys are, the way they treated women, etc. I live in southern California, so it was a nice change of pace. My 20 year old step daughter wants to move there now

[Drake744]

The dating scene is fine. The "sea of Carrie Underwoods" could apply to the bachelorette parties but in my experience most of the younger people, single or not, are pretty cool and down to earth although there are always exceptions. Like any major city there will be a little different vibe with the people in the city than in the suburban areas (which tend to be populated by more younger natives of Nashville) but I don't think the dating scene would be a huge red flag or anything. I'm in my early 30s so I feel fairly well versed on it but I'm also not going to try and convince anyone that I'm 100% right either. Everyone is subject to their own experiences.

[shinestx]

I should have mentioned that lots of times I'll bring friends to Nashville and very often the comment on how attractive the young people (women in their cases) are. The "scene" in Nashville is very attractive, but not in a flashy way, at least like you'd find in cities with those reputations. Nashville prides its own relaxed lifestyle, including fashion.

Regarding where you'll find these "pretty" people; I know professional people (pretty sure they're multimillionaires) who live in West Meade, Woodlawn/Vandy, Belmont, and in the Gulch. I know other families even better off than they who live in Hendersonville, Brentwood, Oak Hill and Mt. Juliet... and of course, Belle Meade/Forest Hills. So you find prosperous, well-educated all around the metro. Lots of them are young people, with and without families. I find the post above about "natives" in the suburbs to be mostly true, although in the past decade there have been lots of relocations who have gone directly to Franklin, Cool Springs, Brentwood and Hendersonville. As traffic has gotten worse, they've even settled closer to their jobs in places like Murfreesboro, Donelson, Wilson County, and in west Davidson County.

[SprtsJunkie88]

Going to chime in here. Will be 30 in a few months, am very single, and I feel like most every man I meet in Nashville is married, and if they aren’t, they are often a musician (SO not my thing–not into that lifestyle), ultra-hipster, or very, uh, country bumpkin, as I call it. I’ve moved a ton for my career and have called both Washington, D.C. and Atlanta home in the past, and people definitely get married younger here than in Atlanta and especially D.C. It’s the South, so just keep that in mind.

(I personally am trying to decide if I am going to stay here after living here almost 3 years. My top choice would be Denver, as it’s supposed to be one of the best cities to be single in your 30s, and I’m into the outdoors/craft beer scene out that way).

[N.Cal]

Originally Posted by SprtsJunkie88

Going to chime in here. Will be 30 in a few months, am very single, and I feel like most every man I meet in Nashville is married, and if they aren’t, they are often a musician (SO not my thing–not into that lifestyle), ultra-hipster, or very, uh, country bumpkin, as I call it. I’ve moved a ton for my career and have called both Washington, D.C. and Atlanta home in the past, and people definitely get married younger here than in Atlanta and especially D.C. It’s the South, so just keep that in mind.

(I personally am trying to decide if I am going to stay here after living here almost 3 years. My top choice would be Denver, as it’s supposed to be one of the best cities to be single in your 30s, and I’m into the outdoors/craft beer scene out that way).

This is what many of my friends here are finding (age range from early 30s to 50s). Good luck in your decision. Denver is great! Fort Collins might also be a good option. I have two friends who moved there and just LOVE it.

[SprtsJunkie88]

Originally Posted by N.Cal

This is what many of my friends here are finding (age range from early 30s to 50s). Good luck in your decision. Denver is great! Fort Collins might also be a good option. I have two friends who moved there and just LOVE it.

Thanks! It honestly depends on if I can get a job out there. I know it's just as a desirable place to live as Nashville these days, and I'm not willing to roll the dice and move out there without a job in hand. I did that when I moved here and it took a really long time for me land something that I wasn't absurdly overqualified for. My job here that I loved was eliminated a few months ago due to structural reorganization, so I've been reevaluating if this is really where I want to be as I head into my 30s, particularly if I want to meet someone. Funny how priorities shift as you age!

[shinestx]

I realize this is NOT exactly what you're asking about, but relatedly Nashville has the fourth best economy in the USA according to ULI. Among factors driving growth is that the so-called Millennial population is growing at over five-times the national rate (11% to 2% over past five years). That demo group has more singles than others. That should help in the "single scene" you're inquiring about.

Other tidbits in this report. https://cdn.baseplatform.io/files/ba...f114af404a.pdf

[tampa_music]

Originally Posted by snailsfordeedee

Hello all!

I'm a long time lurker of this forum, and have made a couple of moves in my lifetime with the help of CD. I'm hoping you can help with my question!

I spent the majority of my life in El Paso, TX and Las Cruces, NM. I did a short stint in Portland before I took a job in NYC.

I have two job offers on the table - one in NYC and one in Nashville. Nashville really feels like a no brainer to me. My dad worked there for a couple of years and speaks highly of it. The job was actually created specifically for me after I interviewed for another position. The pay is ~ $20k over the NYC offer, it would allow me to save a bit more to finally put a down payment on a home, and my dog would have more space.

Don't get me wrong, I've enjoyed my time in NYC, but the main draw for me is the theater. I'm usually so wiped out from the crowds, the noise, the shoving on the subway, and my day to day in general that I never actually even want to go do anything outside of work. I miss open spaces immensely.

So here's where my question comes in. The list of pros for the Nashville job far outweigh the pros for NY.........but I work with a couple transplants from Nashville who warn me the dating scene is going to be really hard for a 30 year old single female. They told me they moved because the growth in Nashville has "killed the vibe." But surely the growth has also brought in people of all ages and walks of like - including single 30-something men? I've also been warned that it's a "sea of Carrie Underwoods" which makes dating even harder lol.

I was wondering if anyone can chime in on the dating scene. It really is the one thing that's making me a bit nervous about the potential move. Thanks so much!

As a single 30-something man who is also currently in NYC, is thinking of making the same move for the same reasons, and has the same concern, I represent at least one guy who would be happy to get to know you if we both end up there. Heck, if you're still in the city we could meet up now and bond over our mutual hatred of New York pedestrians.