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Old 04-27-2013, 07:24 AM
 
Location: Beautiful Niagara Falls ON.
10,019 posts, read 10,930,217 times
Reputation: 8926

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I guess these are American wolves they are talking about. Canadian wolves are different. When I woke up this morning there were three of them sleeping in my bed with me. It's a good thing I have a king sized bed or the buggers would have pushed me right out. I'm thinking that I'm going to have to start keeping my doors closed at night.

 
Old 04-27-2013, 10:16 AM
 
Location: NW Nevada
15,155 posts, read 12,284,608 times
Reputation: 13996
Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackShoe View Post
Wolf attacks?? Who would have thought it? I mean, everyone always knew, didn't they, that by far, most fatalities to humans are caused by Dodo Birds. These vicious killers attack without mercy, rather like packs, not flocks, and few survive their onslaughts.
Oh man! This was supposed to be kept secret, to avoid public panic! Be watching for the black helicopters pard. You spilled the beans...
 
Old 04-27-2013, 10:37 AM
 
5,935 posts, read 9,730,753 times
Reputation: 6265
The wolf secret is out already...Josh Ritter has been singing about it for years...


Josh Ritter - "Wolves" (Live at the Paradiso in Amsterdam) - YouTube

In case you can't hear what he's singing, here are the lyrics. I'll quote one verse.
Wolves Lyric Meaning - Josh Ritter Meanings

Quote:
Then one day I just woke up
And the wolves were all there
Wolves in the piano
Wolves underneath the stairs
Wolves inside the hinges
Circling round my door
At night inside the bedsprings
Clicking cross the floor
I don't know how they found me
I'll never know quite how
I still can't believe they heard me
That I was howling out that loud
[I do love this song. Seriously! ]
 
Old 04-27-2013, 01:07 PM
 
Location: Free From The Oppressive State
23,955 posts, read 17,879,140 times
Reputation: 28232
Quote:
Originally Posted by lucknow View Post
I guess these are American wolves they are talking about. Canadian wolves are different. When I woke up this morning there were three of them sleeping in my bed with me. It's a good thing I have a king sized bed or the buggers would have pushed me right out. I'm thinking that I'm going to have to start keeping my doors closed at night.
That won't help you. We know how to open doors. We have even educated the Canadian wolves how to accomplish this.

Hint: You humans with your "opposable thumb" arguments are so funny. We don't need no stinkin' opposable thumbs!
 
Old 04-27-2013, 02:18 PM
 
2,829 posts, read 5,671,731 times
Reputation: 6069
Government coverup. These attacks are all by werewolves. They won't acknowledge it to prevent panic. Wake up and smell the coffee, sheeple.
 
Old 04-28-2013, 01:18 PM
 
Location: Beautiful Niagara Falls ON.
10,019 posts, read 10,930,217 times
Reputation: 8926
Quote:
Originally Posted by Three Wolves In Snow View Post
That won't help you. We know how to open doors. We have even educated the Canadian wolves how to accomplish this.

Hint: You humans with your "opposable thumb" arguments are so funny. We don't need no stinkin' opposable thumbs!
The wolves in my neighbourhood are interested in one thing only. My beautiful standard poodle girls!!!!
 
Old 04-28-2013, 08:43 PM
 
1,879 posts, read 1,927,800 times
Reputation: 1464
Quote:
Originally Posted by Clark Fork Fantast View Post
I knew it! Reintroducing wolves into the corporate world was a bad idea in the first place. Besides, they aren't even the original, smaller species that ate Little Red Riding Hood's granny. These wolves are huge, and their breath alone is so bad you'll keel over when they breathe down your neck at the water cooler.
Actually, being asphyxiated by Wolf Halitosis might be a hidden blessing if said Wolf then rips one's neck out while one is still knocked out from the bad breath.
 
Old 04-29-2013, 08:23 AM
 
Location: Victoria TX
42,662 posts, read 76,381,080 times
Reputation: 36232
Be careful. People who watch Fox News believe this stuff.
 
Old 04-29-2013, 08:24 AM
 
Location: San Diego
38,134 posts, read 34,154,819 times
Reputation: 22322
First Cougars and now this? I'm buying more ammo.
 
Old 05-01-2013, 09:29 AM
 
Location: Midwestern U.S.
387 posts, read 200,821 times
Reputation: 925
Darn, the wolves get all the good press! Why'd I have to be born a wolf wanna-be?
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