My 18 year old daughter wants to move in with her drug addict boyfriend HELP!!!! (Lincoln: lawyer, college) - Nebraska (NE) - City-Data Forum

motleygirl123 · 04-04-2014, 03:36 PM

The title pretty much sums up what is going on, i have a wonderful daughter whom has been dating this loser boyfriend of hers for about 4 years. He has cheated on her several times, been to jail for drugs , has a violent temper although has never hit her that i know of ( and God help him if he does ) and we just cant seem to get rid of him. She is a manager at a pizza place until she starts college this coming fall, but she has just informed me that she will be moving in with the deadbeat 18 year old boyfriend and his dad and his dads girlfriend. This dad gives his kids alcohol and doesnt care if they smoke weed around him. Can she legally move in with them at 18? Is there anything i can do to stop this?

scratchie · 04-04-2014, 03:41 PM

I think she can move wherever she wants if she's 18.

motleygirl123 · 04-04-2014, 03:53 PM

But the legal age in Nebraska is 19 so i was just hoping there was something i could do

scratchie · 04-04-2014, 03:58 PM

Ah, I don't know then. I didn't realize there were states where 18-year-olds weren't considered adults.

Talk to a lawyer or a counselor, I guess. There may be something you could do to prevent her from moving out, but honestly, I don't think that would end well. If she really wants to leave, she might marry the guy.

Are you paying for her to go to college in the fall?

CSD610 · 04-04-2014, 04:03 PM

When does she turn 19? In Illinois if a 17 year old moves out but they are within a few months of turning 18 nothing is done unless the place they are moving is an extremely dangerous and already documented as dangerous place.

motleygirl123 · 04-04-2014, 04:10 PM

she will be 19 in July and she cannot marry in Nebraska anyway until 19. No i am not paying her college, she gets enough FAFSA to pay her way, but i know when she leaves college will never happen, he is a very controlling boyfriend and i am afraid for her actually, i will call a lawyer and try to talk her into seeing a counselor!! Thank you all for your help!! I guess i was grasping at straws and would be told i had the right to legally remove her from that house.

dober1 · 04-04-2014, 08:12 PM

I think the OP better check the laws. I was married at 18 in Nebraska. I think you are in denial about your daughter just like many parents. If she has been with a drug using guy who has been to jail and it has gone on for 4 years. She may not be as innocent as you want to believe.

ScarletG · 04-04-2014, 10:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by motleygirl123

The title pretty much sums up what is going on, i have a wonderful daughter whom has been dating this loser boyfriend of hers for about 4 years. He has cheated on her several times, been to jail for drugs , has a violent temper although has never hit her that i know of ( and God help him if he does ) and we just cant seem to get rid of him. She is a manager at a pizza place until she starts college this coming fall, but she has just informed me that she will be moving in with the deadbeat 18 year old boyfriend and his dad and his dads girlfriend. This dad gives his kids alcohol and doesnt care if they smoke weed around him. Can she legally move in with them at 18? Is there anything i can do to stop this?

Look at your own family to see what makes her think this is an acceptable way to be treated.

You should have been acting long before she turns 18....because yes, she can leave and never speak to you again.

At best, you can keep the lines of communication open and be a safe place for her to fall if things get bad.

sholomar · 04-05-2014, 12:18 AM

Don't bail her out for her mistakes monetarily. She can have emotional support, but do not be a financial crutch. The way women learn to stop dating bad boys is through experience and pain... repeat after me, NO FINANCIAL SUPPORT ... she should have to learn to take responsibility for her actions and providing a monetary crutch will only encourage her to continue to date irresponsibly.
People I know continue to bail out their kids and no surprise, they continue to make the same mistakes well into adulthood... basically the kids take advantage of them.

Like others have said, by the time people hit 12-14 and puberty and their hormones gets going, their basic character traits are in place and they can be harder to change at that point.. the seeds of this behavior have been building for years since you've said they've been together 4 years. It's also apparently the only guy she's known, so she knows no different of what kind of guy she could be with... people become comfortable with familiarity after awhile. At that age you just have to try to encourage her to take birth control and let her learn her own lessons.... experience is the guide people listen too, not words....

Lincoln Nebraska Native · 04-05-2014, 02:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by motleygirl123

This dad gives his kids alcohol and doesnt care if they smoke weed around him.

Most Nebraskan families let their adult "underage" children have alcohol. They won't admit to it on live TV, but that's just the way things are. As for pot use, again that's something very common. I often feel that I'm the only 30-something in Lincoln that's never used it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by motleygirl123

Is there anything i can do to stop this?

I'm afraid not, she's an adult. Adults are allowed to date people that their parents disapprove of. Standing in the way will only hurt your relationship with your daughter.