Child custody: Is NH more 'Pro-Dad' than other states? (house, law) - New Hampshire - Page 2 - City-Data Forum

sgthoskins · 02-16-2011, 08:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CaseyB

The woman needs to get an attorney and head back into court.

Pretty much the only solution.

AngelaK · 02-16-2011, 05:27 PM

"When a little girl keeps coming home from her father's home with infections in her private areas and burns"............you call DCYF and report child abuse. Sure sign of abuse and we are all mandated reporters in this state.

Merjolie8 · 02-16-2011, 05:29 PM

Agree w/ AngelaK, call DCYF, document everything and go back to court. This story doesn't add up or the state is really dropping the ball here.

jakiedoodle · 02-17-2011, 06:37 AM

IMO, DCYF in this state is basically useless anyway.
My ex b/f had a custody issue with his ex g/f over their son. BOTH of these "parents" were KNOWN alcholics/alcohol abusers, the Mom was also taking drugs, partying with the kids right there, leaving the kids (she had 2 others with 2 other men) with neighbors all the time to go partying, neglecting the youngest (my ex's son) to the point of where he was found by DCYF to be eating cat feces out of the litter box!!! My ex was no saint either. Convicted NUMEROUS times of DUI, lost his license for YEARS, had to have a breathalyzer installed on his vehicle when he DID get it back, has 3 other kids with 3 other women (none of which he sees, he does pay child support).

So....here's this poor young boy, then 7 years old - DCYF said it was in "his best interest" to stay with the Mom as long as the Mom lived with HER parents. IMO, this poor boy shouldn't be with either of these loser parents!! He has other relatives who would've taken him in a heartbeat! My ex has his son every other weekend and lies through his teeth to the state, saying he's "clean and sober" (which I KNOW FOR A FACT is not the truth). The mother claims the same thing. I don't know her true situation. But this boy lives with Mom.

How is any of this in the best interest of this child???!! How can any parent abuse/neglect their children like that? How is it that the State/DCYF "claim" to know what's in the child's best interest and proceed to "enforce" their opinion when these 2 loser parents have long histories of drug/alcohol abuse and they still let the child remain with these people?

It boggles my mind!!! I don't believe in DCYF. I don't think they have the "manpower" to do what's right and what is TRULY in the child's best interest. I don't think they look deeply enough into the "truth" of the situation when it comes to most cases. Just my 2 cents!

daniellenbosley · 02-17-2011, 07:34 AM

jakiedoodle, the gf in your story sounds like the father of the child in mine. he has two other kids he doesn't pay support or anything for, lives off his new gf who also has two kids. No explanation has been given as to how but the child was somehow burnt while in his care, she says by fire. She has had (I wouldn't even call it recurrent because it hardly goes away) yeast infections in her private areas that are so bad the antibiotics and zinc the dr prescribes arent working very well anymore. This has been going on ever since the father was granted joint custody. While in the mother's care, the medicine is used etc, but since weeks are split in half, by the time it even starts to clear up the child goes back to dad's house and comes home with an even worse infection. It doesn't appear he's using medicine or even a diaper rash cream, and must be leaving the child in soiled diapers all the time. Mom tells the child the morning of, each time she goes with her father that she has to go and it's h*ll from there on out. She cries, screams and begs not to make her go and says her father is mean and she doesn't like it there. The father is a real piece of work and has tried repeatedly to get mom arrested and in trouble for silly, petty things. The judge got so annoyed with him, he ordered them to go to family counseling and told them until they did, the court would not hear any more of their cases. Mom went to the court appointed counselor FIVE times, and dad never appeared for any of them. Clerk at the courthouse told Mom there's nothing she can do until dad goes to counseling. Well, if she cant take him back to court for not appearing for counseling, then wth is she supposed to do? Catch 22...

Aptor hours · 02-17-2011, 06:54 PM

Does the baby momma have a lawyer or not?

daniellenbosley · 02-18-2011, 06:41 AM

Yes. She had one through the entire process. At the moment she doesn't, but with tax returns coming up for her, it's an option.

jassielassie · 01-25-2012, 10:50 PM

Are you kidding me? I think NH is very pro-guy. My ex never sees his kid. NH leaves it up to me to find out where he is, where his payroll is, etc. and then they notify him that they are going to garnish his wages and he quits. He moves back and forth between two different states so that he loses no priviledges like his license. He has been evading child support for over 7 years and he is only ordered to pay $330 a month! Not nearly close to the amount I spend on my child and I have to go through the aggravation of dealing with getting turned down from schools because he won't fill out any financial aid forms or even cooperate for anything that is good for my child. He does not deserve anything!

sgthoskins · 01-26-2012, 05:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jassielassie

Are you kidding me? I think NH is very pro-guy. My ex never sees his kid. NH leaves it up to me to find out where he is, where his payroll is, etc. and then they notify him that they are going to garnish his wages and he quits. He moves back and forth between two different states so that he loses no priviledges like his license. He has been evading child support for over 7 years and he is only ordered to pay $330 a month! Not nearly close to the amount I spend on my child and I have to go through the aggravation of dealing with getting turned down from schools because he won't fill out any financial aid forms or even cooperate for anything that is good for my child. He does not deserve anything!

Then raise the child on your own. It's obvious he doesn't want to see his child.
I don't get why women feel entitled to other people's money. YOU made the decision to have the child with this man, now YOU have to deal with the consequences.

OUR tax dollars shouldn't be spent locating and prosecuting the father of YOUR child. Saying NH is man friendly is complete b.s. I pay 4 times what he is paying and I have my son literally every other day. Life isn't fair deal with it.

daniellenbosley · 01-26-2012, 10:49 AM

Obviously you make more money

I don't think there's ever a legitimate reason to complain about the amount of child support- unless the paying parent is knowingly working under the table or gaining income they aren't reporting to Child Support Enforcement. That being said, they've learned how to work the system very well- as well as those who work it for food stamps and everything else. I will admit that NH's child support tends to be higher than many other states I know of. However, this is New England- it costs more to live here than the other states I've lived in too. My child support isn't set through NH. It's in Maryland where it's always been. But if I chose to switch it to here, it would be over $500 more a month. That being said, it's not fair to blame the woman who is trying to raise her child on her own. You don't know their backstory. You're implying it was he choice to have the child solely. Maybe it wasn't. Should I not expect support from my ex-husband? We were married and chose together to have two children. He then decided he wanted to do nothing with his life but be single and childless. He hasn't attempted to see his children in over three years. He makes six figures and complains that he pays $1200 a month in child support. That's $7200 a year per kid. Not even close to half of what it costs to raise them. Who is really getting the short end of the stick here?

If you are really worried about your tax dollars- perhaps you should think before you speak next time. The above poster is correct- NH (along with most other states I have come to be knowledgeable of) leave it up to the custodial parent to track the absent parent down. I've had to do this at least 6 times as my ex changes jobs, works under the table, moves across the country, disconnects his phone, etc. Child Support Enforcement's options are limited. They pretty much have one database where new hires are alerted to them. Past that, they send some form letters now and then to the last known address. They work very little on these issues.

What they DO work on--- appointments with single parents every day asking for assistance paying their electric bills, heating bills, applications for food stamps, WIC, and let us not forget medicaid because paying parents often leave that out too. My ex actually had our children covered on his insurance for over a year- paying for it and just wouldn't give it to me to use out of spite. Because of such, I couldn't get medicaid for them but also had no insurance and the doctor's would bill me, not him. So no, life isn't fair. Single parents everywhere are dealing with it daily.

The state workers (your tax dollars) spend waaaayy more time dishing out funds and assistance to single parents who are in need of their child support than the hours they put into finding the absent parent!

I agree it is unfair that you pay child support at all if you actually have your son every other day. I'm not familiar with those laws in NH but I know in more southern states and many out west, no one pays support if each parent has the child the same number of overnights each year.

Every situation is different. Try not to judge. Clearly we can all agree on one thing- the child support system here is a bit skewed.