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My husband and I are relocating from NJ this month. We've traveled around the U.S. a bit over the years and decided we'd be happier in a slightly slower-paced, less built up environment - of course the cost of living is a huge factor, too.
So we did our homework; made lists of places we really liked, and then found out what the average salary was at these places for our lines of work. We checked out the Raleigh, NC area (the pay for what my husband does is actually higher there than it is here in NJ), but we didn't care for it. It felt very similar to NJ except for a lack of Italian restaurants and more trailers. Also my husband disliked the idea of being that far from a major league sports team.
Eventually we decided on the Kansas City, MO metro area. We visited and really liked it - super friendly people, very low cost of living, major league sports teams, plenty of recreational opportunities. The average pay for what my husband does is also slightly higher there than it is in NJ, which was a real surprise. (The average pay for what I do is lower, but I'm going to be a stay at home mom in the next year or two so we base all of our expenses on my husband's salary alone.)
I have no idea if it will work out in the long run. I feel confident it will, but until we are there, who knows? If it doesn't work out for us in Missouri though, we won't be returning to NJ. Whatever you decide, best of luck.
I would like to throw in my two cents for all of you contemplating leaving NJ. My family did it my sophomore year in high school. My mother, a NJ native, had a hard time adjusting, my father, a New Yorker of 20 years plus 14 years living in NJ had a much easier time.
It seems to me, the difference was in the attempt at making the new place work. If you go with your Northeastern arrogance, that nothing is better than living in the tri-state area, you will not like anywhere you go. The truth of the matter is that other US cities have things wonderful things to offer.
We moved to KY in the middle of high school, I thought it was going to be the worst experience of my life. The people had accents and then had the nerve to tell me that I was the one who "talked funny". That aside, it was quite a relief to be in KY. Instead of going to my over-priced private school I was finally in a place where I could go to public school and take advantage of all of the activities that you never get in a NJ prep school. In addition, the competition and the absolute need to keep of with the Joneses was eliminated. We were all more relaxed, and free to live our lives. The reality was that my father took a salary increase, I was able to go to school for free, we lived in a beautiful house, and our proximity to large universities allowed me access to great performing arts programs without the usual 45 minute drive everywhere.
On my first desperate visit to NJ to visit family and friends I was reminded of the traffic, the dirt, and how much money people have to spend just to survive. There were definitely things that I missed like the food and all of my relatives, but it was an awakening that life other places can be just as good, if you are willing to give it a chance. With the extra money you save when you move out of the area, you can afford to travel back whenever you desire.
I guess I do have to qualify that as an adult I have lived in NYC for 4 years, and after a brief stint in Florida, I am moving back to New Jersey for a job.
Location: Some got six month some got one solid. But me and my buddies all got lifetime here
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NJFLgirl
It seems to me, the difference was in the attempt at making the new place work. If you go with your Northeastern arrogance, that nothing is better than living in the tri-state area, you will not like anywhere you go..
Northeastern arrogance, huh? Seems the arrogance is coming only from yourself. How about some of us believing the myths of the south, that it's supposed to be this better place, and it really turns out not to be? Some of us gave the south a legit shot and just don't like it. That's not arrogance, that's being honest with yourself.
Northeastern arrogance, huh? Seems the arrogance is coming only from yourself. How about some of us believing the myths of the south, that it's supposed to be this better place, and it really turns out not to be? Some of us gave the south a legit shot and just don't like it. That's not arrogance, that's being honest with yourself.
Well Brian, you took that personally didn't you? My mother went to the south with the Northeastern arrogance. Maybe you did too?
My point wasn't that you were a snob. I wasn't even speaking to you specifically, my post was in response to the OP. Further, if you've only lived one other place in the south than you are making a gross generalization about an entire section of the country.
From my point of view I see many well-educated people who make decent salaries in jobs that don't depend on living near NYC. Their standard of living would go up leaps and bounds if they could look beyond good pizza and open their minds to other places.
Believe me. I'm not a big cheerleader for the South and the move wasn't a bowl of cherries. However privileged my life was in NJ, I've had nice experiences elsewhere, and I encourage other people from all states to do the same.
So Charlotte sucked. I've been there several times, and it's not on my list of places that I would like to live, but I wouldn't say because of my negative experience in Charlotte that I cannot live in the South.
One more funny thing about my Northeastern arrogance, I didn't believe that the South was this wonderful place, but somehow I was open to the possibility that life could be just a rewarding somewhere else. Maybe a little more honesty on your part could have saved you some heartache.
I moved to Raleigh a year ago, and am now ready to "come back home"! Sometimes you can't appreciate what you have until its gone. For me, the benefits of living in NJ (more job opportunities, my friends, hobbies, etc) outweigh the cost. I was just in NJ for a vacation, and cried when I had to get back in the car to drive back to Raleigh! I will be returning to NJ in early August, though I wish it were tomorrow!
Raleigh is nice - it reminds me of central NJ (without the charm and personality though). Most of the people who live here are from the northeast. Its not for everyone though. If you search through both the NC and NJ forums, you will find all points of views - those who came and love it, those who came and left, and those who came and tolerate it.
If your sole reason for moving is the high cost of living in NJ, make sure you do a lot of research before making the move. The salaries I was offered here were as much as 40%-50% less than I made in NJ - the cost of living here is better, but not that much better!
Whether or not to relocate is a very personal and difficult decision. I wish you the best.
I was just in NJ for a month, visiting and job searching. I cried half of the way back to GA (I drove) . I have made the decision to return to Jersey. You are right......you don't realize what you have until it's gone. Take care and best to you.
Well Brian, you took that personally didn't you? My mother went to the south with the Northeastern arrogance. Maybe you did too?
My point wasn't that you were a snob. I wasn't even speaking to you specifically, my post was in response to the OP. Further, if you've only lived one other place in the south than you are making a gross generalization about an entire section of the country.
From my point of view I see many well-educated people who make decent salaries in jobs that don't depend on living near NYC. Their standard of living would go up leaps and bounds if they could look beyond good pizza and open their minds to other places.
Believe me. I'm not a big cheerleader for the South and the move wasn't a bowl of cherries. However privileged my life was in NJ, I've had nice experiences elsewhere, and I encourage other people from all states to do the same.
So Charlotte sucked. I've been there several times, and it's not on my list of places that I would like to live, but I wouldn't say because of my negative experience in Charlotte that I cannot live in the South.
One more funny thing about my Northeastern arrogance, I didn't believe that the South was this wonderful place, but somehow I was open to the possibility that life could be just a rewarding somewhere else. Maybe a little more honesty on your part could have saved you some heartache.
you run into the same provincial thinking from ny people who move to NJ, always saying that the pizza is better in brooklyn, bars are better in manhattan, the culture is better in NY, so why do they keep moving to NJ??
when I moved from Ny to NJ I mad a conscious effort to assimilate, accept the differences and enjoy what things NJ has that NY could never offer, now that I live in FLA that attitude has served me well, FLA will never be NY or NJ and whining about not being able to find a good bagel is pointless.
the best advice is to ignore people like them who can't accept the fact that NY is not the center of the universe.
After my growing up in NYC-my DH and I moved to NJ when our children were very young (2 1/2 yrs. and 10days old). I was not a happy camper but assimilated and we were there 33 years. Two years ago after much homework and research we moved to Minnesota-DH is originally from MN. Our reason-better life, lower taxes. Have gone back to NJ a few times as daughter and grandkids are there (miss them horribly) but are happy to leave the congestion. Of course we miss good pizza, good Chinese, fresh seafood-but have adapted. We are now planning a move to the NC or SC area as it would bring us within 10 hrs. of our g-kids and our son lives in Charlotte and loves it. The key is adaptability. Good luck.
After my growing up in NYC-my DH and I moved to NJ when our children were very young (2 1/2 yrs. and 10days old). I was not a happy camper but assimilated and we were there 33 years. Two years ago after much homework and research we moved to Minnesota-DH is originally from MN. Our reason-better life, lower taxes. Have gone back to NJ a few times as daughter and grandkids are there (miss them horribly) but are happy to leave the congestion. Of course we miss good pizza, good Chinese, fresh seafood-but have adapted. We are now planning a move to the NC or SC area as it would bring us within 10 hrs. of our g-kids and our son lives in Charlotte and loves it. The key is adaptability. Good luck.
You hit it on the head- you've got to be willing to accept that the new location is not going to be the same as the old location.
I've come to the conclusion that if you don't work in an industry that's tied to NYC (fashion, stock market, etc), and you can survive without seeing your extended family every day, and can somehow get by without a "good bagel" or "real pizza", that there are hundreds of places in the US that will give you a better quality of life.
We're moving to a small town around 30 miles north of downtown Atlanta in two weeks. Home prices are 1/2 to 1/3 of what they are in central NJ, the schools are just as good, and the property taxes are 1/2 to 1/4 of what they are here. I'm actually keeping the same salary as up here, but in many fields, there's maybe a 10-15% decrease in salaries. Once you do the math, you still come out ahead even with the lower salary in most cases.
Are the people "different"? Sure- some of them are, but some of them aren't. Do some of them not care for "yankees"? Sure- but some of them don't care where you're from (and many of them are from somewhere else anyway). Is the weather different? Yup, it's hot for a longer period of time (though lately it's been hotter here than in Atlanta), but there's also not the bitter cold and snow to deal with in the winter. Is the food different? Yeah- they've got grits and real BBQ, and finding a good pizza or bagel can be tough- but that's a small price to pay IMO.
One thing that you'll find down there that doesn't occur as much in the NY/NJ area is that people actually go home at 5pm- they're not strapped into their cubicles until all hours of the evening. They tend to put alot more focus on having a life outside of work, and that concept alone is worth the move, IMO.
So, stay or go? Only you can make that decision. You've had a dozen or so people tell you that they moved back to NJ because it's "home", or whatever. For others, "home" is wherever they rest their head at night (that's a pathetic old cliche- I know.....). I'll take the place where there's more to life than the NYC that I don't need to work or play in, the Jersey shore that I can't stand sitting in traffic to get to (never could understand sitting on a beach getting skin cancer for hours anyway....), and the high taxes that get squandered on God knows what. BTW- Fedex can ship a dozen bagels or a few pizzas anywhere if that's all that's holding you back......lol.
Location: Some got six month some got one solid. But me and my buddies all got lifetime here
4,555 posts, read 10,408,717 times
Reputation: 2162
Quote:
Originally Posted by NJFLgirl
One more funny thing about my Northeastern arrogance, I didn't believe that the South was this wonderful place, but somehow I was open to the possibility that life could be just a rewarding somewhere else. Maybe a little more honesty on your part could have saved you some heartache.
Oh I had a lot of honesty on my part and gave living in the Charlotte area my best. It didn't work because it was only then that I found out that I don't want to assimilate, very similar to the way that I would expect people from the south to assimilate to the northern style of living.
I'll apologize though for jumping on you the way that I did. At least we can agree that the south was not for us. I can't wait to get the hell out.
I appreciate all of the responses...some of ther reasons we are moving are...less expensive real estate...little slower pace...less cost of living...the taxes in this state are out of control...go up every year and I still 7 years later have no idea what they are all used on...the real estate is not affordable...the salaries etc have really plummeted in the last few years and are not keeping up with the cost of living...and my DH and I dont want to have to work 2 jobs to keep our heads afloat and our children becoming strangers because we are never home... We have two co workers that just move to NC (Union County) in the winter and love it. Ihave been to the Triad several times on business and the people are very pleasant...you will always find good and bad where ever you go...
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I feel your pain!
