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Old 06-11-2011, 09:54 AM
 
10 posts, read 21,756 times
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I used to live in nyc and moved out west but am looking to move back to the area by school start in August. I've been reading on this forum and so far, some towns that sound like good places for kids and schools on a medium budget are Fair Lawn, Rutherford, Livingston, Montclair, and Cranford. My daughter grew up til she was in second grade on the UWS, and we both miss the area. She also still has a couple friends in nyc, so we'll definitely be venturing over to our old haunts near central park on weekends. We'll also be going up to woodstock, ny a few times a year where her father visits from california, so I was thinking bergen county - but that's not the biggest factor in the choice of towns. (But I don't know the traffic in nj, so I'm open to advice if it should be!) I work in medical records, so nearby hospitals, rehab, behavioral, or larger healthcare facilities for a job are important.

Also wondering if anyone can offer suggestions where other moms might be "friendlier" if one is a single mom.

Where are you coming from? Formerly NYC
Why are you moving? Friends and family closer there
Where will you be working ? Possibly NYC -but job searching at NJ hospitals, too

Will you buy or rent? Rent for 2 years, then buy
What is your budget ? $2,000 to rent, $350k to buy
What kind of place are you looking for? Prefer house or townhouse (but for small family really, so 1,200 sq ft in size is fine)

Will anyone (spouse, children, pets) be moving with you ? Middle school-aged child and 7lb dog
Do you need/want good public schools? YES and afterschool programs. Would also be interested in non-sectarian private school.

Briefly describe the kind of neighborhood you'd like to live in
(examples: families with young children, young, mature, artsy, diverse, safe, close-knit, block parties, etc) Safe and LOTS of kids hopefully (as I have an only child). Block parties sound good.

List three things that are important to you in order of importance.(examples: nightlife, outdoor activities, rural/urban, safety, downtown area, charming, new construction, proximity to XYZ, family oriented, easy parking, short commute, etc) Family oriented. Schools. Jobs. (A few other things on wishlist but not dealbreakers: Rec center for kids and a park would be nice. Walkability is a plus. Taxi services would be great (for a visiting grandmother).

Thanks for any suggestions!

Last edited by sandhill; 06-11-2011 at 10:09 AM..
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Old 06-11-2011, 10:11 AM
 
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Cranford, Livingston & Montclair may be a bit over your budget.

In Bergen County, try Waldwick. Around your budget, nice little downtown. Schools in the top 75 of NJ. Close to shopping in Paramus & Ridgewood. Main Line train to Secaucus then transfer to Penn Station. 15 minutes from NY State border on Route 17.

Valley Hospital in Ridgewood (10 minutes) and Hackensack and Englewood Hospitals (30-40 minutes) are the main medical ctrs in B.C. St. Joseph's is 30 minutes away in Paterson.
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Old 06-11-2011, 10:37 AM
 
Location: Princeton, NJ
249 posts, read 822,765 times
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Actually, Cranford is in your budget, both for rentals and for a purchase of either a townhome or small single family home. I think it meets most of your criteria.

Robert Wood Johnson Hospital - Rahway is really close, as is Children's Specialized Hospital in Mountainside.
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Old 06-11-2011, 12:13 PM
 
Location: Elsewhere
87,949 posts, read 83,773,798 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EBWick View Post
Cranford, Livingston & Montclair may be a bit over your budget.

In Bergen County, try Waldwick. Around your budget, nice little downtown. Schools in the top 75 of NJ. Close to shopping in Paramus & Ridgewood. Main Line train to Secaucus then transfer to Penn Station. 15 minutes from NY State border on Route 17.

Valley Hospital in Ridgewood (10 minutes) and Hackensack and Englewood Hospitals (30-40 minutes) are the main medical ctrs in B.C. St. Joseph's is 30 minutes away in Paterson.
Waldwick might be a good idea. I have a friend who lives in a condo there--also a single mom, though her daughter is now grown.

As a single mom who raised a daughter in the northern NJ area (town next to Waldwick), there probably isn't one place that would be better for you than others. The suburbs are centered around the intact, nuclear family. It's not that anyone was ever unkind to me because I was a single (divorced) parent, it's just that you don't have as much in common with them, and many activities are constructed for those who have partners. ("Are you going to the Valentine's Day Dance? It's a fundraiser for XYZ." Well, no, I have no desire to sit at a table as the only oddball who isn't there with a husband...why on earth would you think I would?)

The good part is that amongst the plethora of apparent Leave-It-To-Beaver households, there ARE hidden amongst them other single or divorced mothers or even married non-SAHMs with less-than-perfect lives whom you will meet just by trial and error through your kid's activities. For me, it was volunteering to take on the Daisy troop when no one else wanted to. After the first year, when some were horrified by the idea that their little darlings met for Girl Scouts in the evening, someone else did form another troop that met in the afternoon and what were left were those of us who worked and didn't become horrified because precious, delicate little Ashleigh's bedtime HAD to be 7:30 every night. I ended up with a nice network of single and/or working moms, and the girls formed friendships that have lasted to this day.

My daughter was also one of the first in her class to have divorced parents. Around the time she hit junior high, there were a rash of divorces as mid-life crises hit amongst the Cleavers and households disintegrated. More than once I found myself sought after for advice as the wise and sagely experienced single parent, and at least twice mothers asked if my daughter could speak to one of her classmates who was having a hard time with the parental separations.

So, OP, welcome to the Jersey suburbs. You'll be just fine as long as you know what to expect. There is a lot to offer in the area for your child, and I hope you'll be happy here.

EDIT: Most of the towns have taxi services, which you would have to call, not hail on the street as you do in the city. A lot of people are commuters and use cabs to get home from train stations on off-hours or to the airports.

Last edited by Mightyqueen801; 06-11-2011 at 12:27 PM..
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Old 06-11-2011, 06:03 PM
 
10 posts, read 21,756 times
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Thanks for the replies. It seems that's pretty much the case everywhere that suburbs are designed for the traditional two-parent family. I probably should have worded my thread title better than best place! It's still really helpful, though, to get perspectives on different towns, and the slightly different cultures from one town to the next. Mightyqueen, that's a good point about single moms having a bit more in common with working mothers. Making friends with other working parents has always been much easier, and plus my daughter feels less of the why is so and so's mother home and hers is at work. So probably a town with mostly SAHMs isn't the best fit. All in all, though, I would take being asked the awkward questions any day over where I am currently where I'm invisible to the married mothers. On the UWS, though, we had no trouble fitting in with other families, and there's some migration of families out to the nj and surrounding burbs from the city, so I was hoping we'd fare a little better in that part of the country.

That was funny about taxis. I didn't mean to suggest you just go outside and hail one down! That you can even call for one for a local ride in town or get one waiting at the train station is a huge improvement over where I live in colorado. The taxi companies here only want to do long distance airport pickups.

All suggestions on towns or anything else welcome, thank you!

Last edited by sandhill; 06-11-2011 at 06:29 PM..
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Old 06-11-2011, 07:21 PM
 
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Carlstadt/East Rutherford area is pretty nice in my opinion...I would have never thought so until I actually drove through and spent time in the towns. Close to everything, low taxes, inexpensive houses, and decent schools, small town feel, safe, lots of small parks for kids. I think that those two small towns are really the hidden gems of North Jersey.
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Old 06-11-2011, 10:24 PM
 
Location: Elsewhere
87,949 posts, read 83,773,798 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sandhill View Post
Thanks for the replies. It seems that's pretty much the case everywhere that suburbs are designed for the traditional two-parent family. I probably should have worded my thread title better than best place! It's still really helpful, though, to get perspectives on different towns, and the slightly different cultures from one town to the next. Mightyqueen, that's a good point about single moms having a bit more in common with working mothers. Making friends with other working parents has always been much easier, and plus my daughter feels less of the why is so and so's mother home and hers is at work. So probably a town with mostly SAHMs isn't the best fit. All in all, though, I would take being asked the awkward questions any day over where I am currently where I'm invisible to the married mothers. On the UWS, though, we had no trouble fitting in with other families, and there's some migration of families out to the nj and surrounding burbs from the city, so I was hoping we'd fare a little better in that part of the country.

That was funny about taxis. I didn't mean to suggest you just go outside and hail one down! That you can even call for one for a local ride in town or get one waiting at the train station is a huge improvement over where I live in colorado. The taxi companies here only want to do long distance airport pickups.

All suggestions on towns or anything else welcome, thank you!
That just popped into my mind, because someone I knew told me how he'd had a party in Fair Lawn (Bergen County suburban town) and his friend brought a date who lived in the city. She and the guy got into a little tiff and she walked out of the house. Came back in a half an hour later complaining that no cabs had come down the street in all that time, and she wanted to go back to the city. LOL. She'd expected cabs to be riding around the suburban streets at night looking for fares.
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Old 10-01-2011, 12:53 PM
 
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Carlstadt has a good school system and the taxes are a lot lower than Rutherford. east Rutherford which is between Carlstadt and Rutherford is not so great though. It is southern Bergen county and less expensive, but not as pretty as Northern Bergen County. However, there is a ten minute commute to NY and things (pharmacies, etc) open 24 hours, supermarkets you can walk to with the small town feel. Im a bit tired of the clickiness, but it was a good place to raise my daughter. That being said. She's turning 18 and Im moving...
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Old 10-01-2011, 12:54 PM
 
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Also, lots of hospitals...hackensack, holy name, saint mary's, valley,...no shortage there.
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