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What happened to kids fearing their parents. I loved that I grew up that way and my kids did also.
Parents need to stop trying to be their kids friends and pop they behinds in the mouth when they disrespect you.
What the parent needs to do is stop the 'TIME OUT"and the "talking" and start raising them the way we were raised back in the day.
I don't mean ABUSE, the kids, I mean get in their azzes so that they see you're not playing.
Urgh, I dislike weak, parents who let their kids run them.
Yup. And when the kids get big enough YOU will be the one getting popped.
The trick with kids, I think, is starting young and always being there and being consistent in discipline(non physical). Like a puppy, it may be cute being disobedient while young, but is a horror when it's bigger. If they respect and look up to you when they are little there will be that natural tendency to follow through later in life.
The thing is parents are often disconnected from a child's mental life when he is younger or are not there to correct the kid when he errs or the parents thinks he's cute when he acts up in certain ways.
If I acted up when outside with my folks in public they would be as embarrassed as heck and turn around and bring me straight home and make sure that I knew what I had done that was wrong. Todays parents seem to think store help is there as babysitters with the kids running up and down the aisles. Parents sit in restaurants letting their kids throw fits, disturbing all the other patrons - or in movie theaters. Then they worry why, later in life, kids cannot be controlled.
You've got to start young to win their respect and love. You have to have conversations with them. You have to check out their friends and the homes they come from. You also have to know when you can release the reins a bit and allow them to make their own decisions.
If a kid is troubled, very rarely does that start when he or she is a teen. It started a lot earlier but no one was noticing.
Last edited by goldengrain; 09-16-2011 at 09:40 AM..
I doubt this would ever happen to me, as you need to be a doormat of a man to get bullied and cursed at by your 14 year old, but if it happened more then once in a blue moon, I think a little physical force is a good option. Not a belt, but a little physical force to put him in his place
I'm not sure if it is ever a good idea for a parent to use physical force on a kid, except in self defense.
However, I knew of a family who had a teenage son who was really acting up. He was flunking out of high school, being truly mean to his younger sister, and getting into all sorts of trouble.
The parents took him to a therapist first to find out what his issues really were. In his case, he was just a JERK, in contrast to his sister who was the nicest girl you'd ever want to meet and a great student, so it couldn't be a problem with the parents.
They ended up sending him to military boarding school, where he straightened out. He was scared to death when he went there, but it turned out for the best.
I'm not sure if it is ever a good idea for a parent to use physical force on a kid, except in self defense.
However, I knew of a family who had a teenage son who was really acting up. He was flunking out of high school, being truly mean to his younger sister, and getting into all sorts of trouble.
The parents took him to a therapist first to find out what his issues really were. In his case, he was just a JERK, in contrast to his sister who was the nicest girl you'd ever want to meet and a great student, so it couldn't be a problem with the parents.
They ended up sending him to military boarding school, where he straightened out. He was scared to death when he went there, but it turned out for the best.
Yep. Many good things derive from having self discipline, which is harder to learn for some of us. That's what his shrink said, did he, the kid was just a JERK?
I am willing to bet the problem stems with the parents themselves. Kids are a product of their upbringing.
I agree that is almost always true what you posted.But not always with all parents,I should know,because I Am one of those parents whose child had a great childhood with 2 parents around the clock and wanted for nothing.Had the world in the Palm of his hands.We never drink, smoked, did drugs,and had a hands on with him with school and home.Hes 22 now,it was his decision to ruin his life,with drink and drugs.Not his Mom and Dad doing.Just wanted to throw that out to you for a different idea.Take care
I agree that is almost always true what you posted.But not always with all parents,I should know,because I Am one of those parents whose child had a great childhood with 2 parents around the clock and wanted for nothing.Had the world in the Palm of his hands.We never drink, smoked, did drugs,and had a hands on with him with school and home.Hes 22 now,it was his decision to ruin his life,with drink and drugs.Not his Mom and Dad doing.Just wanted to throw that out to you for a different idea.Take care
I know. I suspect there are aspects of every child that have to be reacted to differently.
Part/All of a parent's job is prepare the kid to function in the outside world. That probably means kicking him into the world to sink or swim while you're still around to monitor his progress.
It seems as though a person has to have a little experience with the seamy side in order to know how to deal with it. Some of the biggest zealots in religions are people who had little exposure to religion in their youth, at least in my observation.
Hopefully your child is going through a stage and will return to sanity once the logical reasoning ability kicks in. I am sorry for your misery.
Yup. And when the kids get big enough YOU will be the one getting popped.
The trick with kids, I think, is starting young and always being there and being consistent in discipline(non physical). Like a puppy, it may be cute being disobedient while young, but is a horror when it's bigger. If they respect and look up to you when they are little there will be that natural tendency to follow through later in life.
The thing is parents are often disconnected from a child's mental life when he is younger or are not there to correct the kid when he errs or the parents thinks he's cute when he acts up in certain ways.
If I acted up when outside with my folks in public they would be as embarrassed as heck and turn around and bring me straight home and make sure that I knew what I had done that was wrong. Todays parents seem to think store help is there as babysitters with the kids running up and down the aisles. Parents sit in restaurants letting their kids throw fits, disturbing all the other patrons - or in movie theaters. Then they worry why, later in life, kids cannot be controlled.
You've got to start young to win their respect and love. You have to have conversations with them. You have to check out their friends and the homes they come from. You also have to know when you can release the reins a bit and allow them to make their own decisions.
If a kid is troubled, very rarely does that start when he or she is a teen. It started a lot earlier but no one was noticing.
Ever heard you parents say "I don't care how tall or big you are, you will still get knocked the hell out". As we were told from our parents and kids FEARED & RESPECTED THAT.
My son is 21 and much taller than me, do you think I'm scared of him. In all actuality he knows I'm his PARENT, and he knows the consequences if he tries to cross that line.
Also I was brought up in a different era, there was no such thing as embarrassing your parents outside of the house because if you acted out you either got the "LOOK" or you got the "HAND" across the backside.
I even tell my kids well they are young adults now that I have no problem embarrassing them in front of their friends. Yeah, we laugh about it but they know I mean what I say.
You've got to start to win your child's love and respect, huh! See that's the problem, I didn't win anything, it was instilled in them that you RESPECT YOUR ELDERS PERIOD.
Children need guidance, we got it from our parents so what's the difference now.
This is why I have three children that are not teen parents, one that has graduated college, two that are college students and all three are gainfully employed.
As I stated today, parents are weak. I can't see myself being scared of child. Children are manipulators, if they feel they can get over on their parents and their parents let them cross that line, then it's the parents fault and they deserve what they get.
Ever heard you parents say "I don't care how tall or big you are, you will still get knocked the hell out". As we're were told from our parents and kids FEARED & RESPECTED THAT.
My son is 21 and much taller than me, do you think I'm scared of him. In all actuality he knows I'm his PARENT, and he knows the consequences if he tries to cross that line.
Also I was brought up in a different era, there was no such thing as embarrassing your parents outside of the house because if you acted out you either got the "LOOK" or you got the "HAND" across the backside.
I even tell my kids well they are young adults now that I have no problem embarrassing them in front of their kids. Yeah, we laugh about it but they know I mean what I say.
As I stated today, parents are weak. I can't see myself being scared of child. Children are manipulators, if they feel they can get over on their parents and their parents let them cross that line, then it's the parents fault and they deserve what they get.
actually, no. my parents never beat us, screamed at us or belittled us. and imagine that, we're all functioning adults with well behaved children.
actually, no. my parents never beat us, screamed at us or belittled us. and imagine that, we're all functioning adults with well behaved children.
i think your rhetoric is a little over the top.
Think whatever, its your opinion but I'm just stating how I was RAISED IN A DIFFERENT ERA, and how I RAISED my kid how I was raised and it was a SAYING parents instilled in our heads especially if you grew up in the 70's 80's.
Hell some parents still say it today.
My children weren't belittled, beat or ABUSED, screamed at sure, what parent hasnt. They were DISCIPLINED! There's a difference.
Do they love me and respect me, YES.
Did my children, grow up knowing that they can talk to me about any and everything that happens in their lives, YES ,and still do now that they are over the age of 21.
So it may be a little over the top for you but for me it worked.
Ever heard you parents say "I don't care how tall or big you are, you will still get knocked the hell out". As we were told from our parents and kids FEARED & RESPECTED THAT.
My son is 21 and much taller than me, do you think I'm scared of him. In all actuality he knows I'm his PARENT, and he knows the consequences if he tries to cross that line.
Also I was brought up in a different era, there was no such thing as embarrassing your parents outside of the house because if you acted out you either got the "LOOK" or you got the "HAND" across the backside.
I even tell my kids well they are young adults now that I have no problem embarrassing them in front of their friends. Yeah, we laugh about it but they know I mean what I say.
You've got to start to win your child's love and respect, huh! See that's the problem, I didn't win anything, it was instilled in them that you RESPECT YOUR ELDERS PERIOD.
Children need guidance, we got it from our parents so what's the difference now.
This is why I have three children that are not teen parents, one that has graduated college, two that are college students and all three are gainfully employed.
As I stated today, parents are weak. I can't see myself being scared of child. Children are manipulators, if they feel they can get over on their parents and their parents let them cross that line, then it's the parents fault and they deserve what they get.
My parents never had to hit me. Generally when they explained things to me I understood. I loved them and did not want to upset them and I understood that they had my best interests at heart when they corrected me. I was just as curious as other kids and wanted to spread my wings and try things out but I realized that these things would come eventually. Really, even as a baby I rarely cried, so my mom says.
Maybe some parents just have good genes, but I don't think that's the case. I think smart parents will take the extra time to reason with their kid. If they are smarter than their kid they can use reason and logic to prove they are correct. If they are not so bright they have to resort to violence, but isn't that the way of the world?
I don't think a lot of parents start young enough, talking and reasoning with their kid and then when he or she is a teen the parents cannot control them. I think just because a person has the equipment to make children does not necessarily mean that they should.
Then, kids are different. There are sometimes families in which three kids are fine but the fourth is a handful, so maybe it is some genetic thing that is different in that one. Maybe my folks and I were lucky.
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Bad Kids
.Not his Mom and Dad doing.Just wanted to throw that out to you for a different idea.Take care
