School (hold-back) question

[digi21]

If he is having any kind of issues, I could see holding him back. But if he appears to be a bright kid and you want to hold him back just so he can be one of the older ones, consider the fact that he could be terribly bored in class all year. Bored kids = conduct problem. Then that sort of defeats the whole purpose of holding him back. But if your wife is a teacher, shouldn't she know? I 'm sure if you had good reason, you could hold a child back. My sister stayed back in the 3rd grade but she was having academic issues.

[CHAOS Mom]

I don't think that just holding them back gives them an advantage over the other kids. I think it really depends on the kid. What is his personality, his confidence level? I have two January babies, so both missed the 10/1 cut-off. If they had been closer to the cut-off, I don't think I would've held them back, because they are smart. They had both gone through daycare and preschool, so they knew a lot already. To keep them in preschool another year would be stupid.

I think if your kid isn't having academic or social problems, if he has friends and is confident about himself, there's no reason to hold him back. I really think it would be a disadvantage, especially at this stage.

[Immy]

Originally Posted by CHAOS Mom

I don't think that just holding them back gives them an advantage over the other kids. I think it really depends on the kid. What is his personality, his confidence level? I have two January babies, so both missed the 10/1 cut-off. If they had been closer to the cut-off, I don't think I would've held them back, because they are smart. They had both gone through daycare and preschool, so they knew a lot already. To keep them in preschool another year would be stupid.

I think if your kid isn't having academic or social problems, if he has friends and is confident about himself, there's no reason to hold him back. I really think it would be a disadvantage, especially at this stage.

I agree!! We just moved from NY to NJ end of last year. NY's cut off is Dec 31, so my daughter, born Nov 2, was slated to go to Kindergarten this year. She has been to full day preschool and Pre-K for 3 years.

When we moved to NJ, I was concerned that we would have to hold her back. I didn't want to as I know she is ready and smart. So, she is in Kindergarten this year (our town has a Dec 1 cut off) and I just had a conference with her teacher.

She is doing very well. Her teacher always thought she is one of the OLDEST instead of the youngest. Academically, she is one of the top few in the class.

In the end, it all depends on the child. Holding a child back may work for somebody but not for you. I'm sure you will make the right decision for your son.

[Ellwood]

We held son back in kindergarten (5 yo in July), although he was bright, he wasn't quite ready. There are several issues besides learning ability to take into consideration, which I'm sure teachers and administrators have discussed with you (reasoning, motor, social skills, etc.). The teacher wanted to hold back four boys that year, including my son. We were the only parents that agreed. All through school he excelled, received college scholarships and now holds two MS. The other boys were average students and only one went on to higher education.

Our daughter and SIL are teachers and they have held their son (Aug birthday) back two years in preschool, although he is very smart. As educators they are aware of his shortcomings. I remember at the time I held my son back, the first grade teacher said if she had her druthers, children wouldn't start school until they were six years old.

My spouse (Dec birthday) started school before she was 5 yo. She said all through school she always felt she struggled and was always a little behind including socially. All her friends were driving and she had to wait until her senior year was almost over. She went on to get a MS, but she though her parents should have held her back.