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I take my very young daughter to the play area and Barnes and Noble children's section at the Livingston mall at least once a week. I am consistently horrified by the behavior of some of the nannies.
I am always right with my daughter, talking to her, encouraging her good behavior, playing with her, etc. I see several nannies blatantly ignoring the kids, with their backs to the play area, on their phones, ipods, talking to other nannies, etc. At Barnes and Nobles, I have seen nannies on their phones, then they go around calling for the kids. One child I saw was two years old and was playing on his own.
There is one nanny in particular who I have seen at least 4 times. She cares for a young boy, and she ALWAYS has her back to him. He looks sad, lost, ignored, etc. Every time I see them, I want to ask his name and call his parents. The nanny totally ignores him and listens/sings to her ipod. I am borderline ready to alert mall security that she is neglecting him and that he is at risk.
Anyway...if your nanny takes your kid to Livingston play area, please drop by to see what is going on. Some nannies do seem good but every time I go, I count my blessings that I get to be a stay at home mom.
I think it's nice that you posted this. My husband works in a big nanny area in the city and sometimes it makes him sad to see what's happening with some of them. On their phones completely ignoring them - or hanging out/arguing with their boyfriends. I have also seen nannies though in the Barnes and Noble in the city treating the children spectacularly. Wouldn't hurt to pop up now and then with your caretaker.
It doesn't sound as if the kids are in danger, just that they aren't being paid attention to the way they would be if they were with their own mother. I was very fortunate--I wasn't in a financial position to stay home with my daughter, which I would have preferred, but I had my own mother for my "daycare". My daughter is now 20 and my mother is 83, and they still have a very close and loving relationship. In addition, we lived in the house with my parents for a while, and my grandmother was there, too, as well as one of my brothers. I know that it greatly benefitted my kid to share a home with her multi-generational family. Now my grandmother, father, and brother have all died, and I am so glad my daughter was able to spend those years getting to know them.
I agree that moms should drop in on nannies from time to time. AND if necessarily, set up a camera at first. I do remember reading about one mother who did this out of fear. When she looked at the tapes, she saw the nanny singing to her son and playing with him all day--she was so happy to find out the nanny really seemed to love him.
This brings to mind the story about the 2 yo in a mall in UK whose mother lost sight of him briefly only to find out he was led out of the mall and killed by two boys.
Stories like this are rare but it does happen. Strangers who see little kids unsupervised target them for kidnapping.
If I were you and see this again, I would consider following the nanny and child to see where they live, then coming back at night to tell the parents about it. If the nanny is being this neglectful in public, who knows how she behaves with the child at home. You can never be too careful.
It doesn't sound as if the kids are in danger, just that they aren't being paid attention to the way they would be if they were with their own mother. I was very fortunate--I wasn't in a financial position to stay home with my daughter, which I would have preferred, but I had my own mother for my "daycare". My daughter is now 20 and my mother is 83, and they still have a very close and loving relationship. In addition, we lived in the house with my parents for a while, and my grandmother was there, too, as well as one of my brothers. I know that it greatly benefitted my kid to share a home with her multi-generational family. Now my grandmother, father, and brother have all died, and I am so glad my daughter was able to spend those years getting to know them.
I agree that moms should drop in on nannies from time to time. AND if necessarily, set up a camera at first. I do remember reading about one mother who did this out of fear. When she looked at the tapes, she saw the nanny singing to her son and playing with him all day--she was so happy to find out the nanny really seemed to love him.
This brings to mind the story about the 2 yo in a mall in UK whose mother lost sight of him briefly only to find out he was led out of the mall and killed by two boys.
Stories like this are rare but it does happen. Strangers who see little kids unsupervised target them for kidnapping.
If I were you and see this again, I would consider following the nanny and child to see where they live, then coming back at night to tell the parents about it. If the nanny is being this neglectful in public, who knows how she behaves with the child at home. You can never be too careful.
Really?
There are many kids truly at risk if you want to help.
I think the nannies are just using the excuse of "story time at B&N is good socialization for the toddlers!" for their OWN socialization. Gets them out of the house, meeting nanny friends, talking on cell phones, passing the day. I've seen the same thing at parks. I think the parents don't realize what really goes on. But other people do as they are observed around town and at the mall.
Parents with nannies DO need to be checking up on them and setting good rules (ie, do they really want them taking their child to public places like the MALL vs. the library or YMCA or town park?). These parents must think the mall is fine. But it sounds like a nanny network to me...when the kids could be better off at the local library.
My main concern is that they are not watching these young kids at all times. I wouldnt expect the nannies to be right there playing with them since kids do need to socialize on their own with others. They should at least be watching them at all times.
I think I may try to get the child's first and last name next time. If my kid were with this nanny, I would want to know. I have a sitter a few hours one day a week. They stay home or talk a walk. Nothing else!
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