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Having been to Tennessee (and Nashville) several times in my life, I cannot imagine wanting to leave there and move to New Jersey. Mind you, I just recently moved to New Jersey, but in my opinion, Tennessee is far superior. It's less expensive, has a greater sense of community, is more laid back, etc.
I don't even know what to say about your examples of slavery and what not. If we're talking about 2012, then yes, examples of racism still occur. They happen in every state.
As far as I know, no one has said anything to me since I've moved to New Jersey, but do I feel like people treat me differently sometimes? Absolutely. I feel like they look at me and think, 'Oh, she's not one of us. She doesn't even speak Spanish,' and then they just kind of ignore me. Am I going to let that affect me? No way.
In my opinion (which is simply my own), it seems like your reasons for leaving are pretty trivial. If you do decide to move, then I think you will be in store for a huge wake up call. Either way, I wish you and your family nothing but the best!
To clarify, I don't mean my post in a negative way at all (towards you or Jersey). I have seen some posters who easily take offense to comments, so I just wanted to make sure I didn't come across the wrong way.
As I said, best of luck with whatever you choose to do!
Having been to Tennessee (and Nashville) several times in my life, I cannot imagine wanting to leave there and move to New Jersey. Mind you, I just recently moved to New Jersey, but in my opinion, Tennessee is far superior. It's less expensive, has a greater sense of community, is more laid back, etc.
I don't even know what to say about your examples of slavery and what not. If we're talking about 2012, then yes, examples of racism still occur. They happen in every state.
As far as I know, no one has said anything to me since I've moved to New Jersey, but do I feel like people treat me differently sometimes? Absolutely. I feel like they look at me and think, 'Oh, she's not one of us. She doesn't even speak Spanish,' and then they just kind of ignore me. Am I going to let that affect me? No way.
In my opinion (which is simply my own), it seems like your reasons for leaving are pretty trivial. If you do decide to move, then I think you will be in store for a huge wake up call. Either way, I wish you and your family nothing but the best!
Now there's a bizarre statement, bolded. You cannot possibly think everyone who lives in NJ speaks Spanish. Where in the world did THAT come from? Very few people in MY neighborhood speak Spanish. We don't look at one another as if we are all odd, lol. Did you move into a Spanish-speaking neighborhood?
You don't have to answer, but I just found that a really curious statement to make when referring to NJ overall. A lot of Spanish-speaking people live here. Many, many more non-Spanish-speaking people do, too.
I also don't know how you got an idea that TN automatically has a greater sense of community than NJ when you just got here (and obviously have some odd ideas and prejudices about the people who live in NJ.) I have lived in NJ all my life, and experienced some wonderful community feeling when I was raising my daughter.
I agree that you will see interracial couples in Nashville, but I have to disagree that “no one looks down on them.” While no one has ever shouted at us, thrown fried chicken, or burned my image in effigy, I have been told that mixing races spoils the newborn children. The woman I was talking to eluded to the “defamation” of a pure race by black pollution…or something like that.
I would also agree that Nashville is a melting pot, and that some areas of NJ are ethnocentric (Hispanic, Italian, Chinese, AFAM, etc). But I don’t think I will find a more racist situation in NJ by comparison. Thinking about the historical contexts of the North and South I find that both regions at one time or another were proslavery. However, after slavery was abolished, AFAM people in the North lived as free men while the South made segregation into law.
After living here these nearly 30 years, my wife and I are in the mood for a little something different for our kiddos.
Good call on the history. NJ upheld the Fugitive Slave Law in 1950, and was a southern sympathizing state before the Civil War. There were still 18 slaves under the euphemism of "apprentice" in the 1860 census, although most were elderly, born before the law that freed slaves born after 1804 upon attaining adulthood.
There's a woman who posts on CD from Missouri who also believes as does the woman you were speaking to. Specifically, she says black and white people having children is like mating dogs and cats.
I once knew a woman, a friend's aunt, here in NJ, who said the same thing. But, she's dead. Come on home.
Now there's a bizarre statement, bolded. You cannot possibly think everyone who lives in NJ speaks Spanish. Where in the world did THAT come from? Very few people in MY neighborhood speak Spanish. We don't look at one another as if we are all odd, lol. Did you move into a Spanish-speaking neighborhood?
You don't have to answer, but I just found that a really curious statement to make when referring to NJ overall. A lot of Spanish-speaking people live here. Many, many more non-Spanish-speaking people do, too.
I also don't know how you got an idea that TN automatically has a greater sense of community than NJ when you just got here (and obviously have some odd ideas and prejudices about the people who live in NJ.) I have lived in NJ all my life, and experienced some wonderful community feeling when I was raising my daughter.
I actually never said everyone who lives in NJ speaks Spanish. I was giving a personal example, which reflects only myself and limited experience in the state. Not once did I refer to the whole state. I was juxtaposing his statements on race being a factor in wanting to move from Tennessee.
Oh, come on. You really need to read things in the context in which they are written. You're acting like I said everyone in New Jersey is evil. I've actually met some really nice people. That said, I stand by my statement that Tennessee has a greater sense of community. Southern hospitality is a way of life in most southern states. I don't think you would find an example of a person who moved from Tennessee to New Jersey and was like, 'Wow! The people are so much nicer here.' It's just a different way of life. New Jersey is faster pace, which can be both a positive and negative. To each his own. I mean, I am allowed an opinion, right? Those are still legal?
Now, please stop generalizing my words and taking them out of context. If you have further questions, you can PM me, as this is not my thread. You could also touch on those "odd ideas and prejudices" I supposedly have, though, none were mentioned in my post.
I actually never said everyone who lives in NJ speaks Spanish. I was giving a personal example, which reflects only myself and limited experience in the state. Not once did I refer to the whole state. I was juxtaposing his statements on race being a factor in wanting to move from Tennessee.
Oh, come on. You really need to read things in the context in which they are written. You're acting like I said everyone in New Jersey is evil. I've actually met some really nice people. That said, I stand by my statement that Tennessee has a greater sense of community. Southern hospitality is a way of life in most southern states. I don't think you would find an example of a person who moved from Tennessee to New Jersey and was like, 'Wow! The people are so much nicer here.' It's just a different way of life. New Jersey is faster pace, which can be both a positive and negative. To each his own. I mean, I am allowed an opinion, right? Those are still legal?
Now, please stop generalizing my words and taking them out of context. If you have further questions, you can PM me, as this is not my thread. You could also touch on those "odd ideas and prejudices" I supposedly have, though, none were mentioned in my post.
LOLOL. Stop whacking yourself in the head. It'll leave a mark. You said:
As far as I know, no one has said anything to me since I've moved to New Jersey, but do I feel like people treat me differently sometimes? Absolutely. I feel like they look at me and think, 'Oh, she's not one of us. She doesn't even speak Spanish,'
and that sounds EXACTLY as if you are saying you think people in NJ in general speak Spanish and think you're odd if you don't.
Not sure if it's legal for you to have an opinion, since you're from Tennessee and all. I'll check with an attorney and get back to you on that one.
I can't say anything personally about Tennessee, since I've never been there, although I hear it's a pretty place. But if you're going to prance into a state forum and haughtily declare that YOUR home state is "far superior", don't throw the back of your hand to your forehead and act shocked when you get some blowback for it.
LOLOL. Stop whacking yourself in the head. It'll leave a mark. You said:
As far as I know, no one has said anything to me since I've moved to New Jersey, but do I feel like people treat me differently sometimes? Absolutely. I feel like they look at me and think, 'Oh, she's not one of us. She doesn't even speak Spanish,'
and that sounds EXACTLY as if you are saying you think people in NJ in general speak Spanish and think you're odd if you don't.
Not sure if it's legal for you to have an opinion, since you're from Tennessee and all. I'll check with an attorney and get back to you on that one.
I can't say anything personally about Tennessee, since I've never been there, although I hear it's a pretty place. But if you're going to prance into a state forum and haughtily declare that YOUR home state is "far superior", don't throw the back of your hand to your forehead and act shocked when you get some blowback for it.
i found it weird that she said TN is more family-friendly than NJ. How could she possibly know that every corner of every area of NJ is less family friendly and laid back than every corner of every area of TN?
-Focused- can you please describe how Chester NJ is less laid back and less family friendly than say....Bartlett, TN?
Remember, the o/p stated he does want to get away from Country Music......the farther South or West he gets in New Jersey, the more Country Music he is going to find, and the less tolerance for Inter-ethnicity, he will find.....
Has anyone reminded him that New Jersey costs money, and it has the highest property taxes and car insurance premiums in the country?
I'm going to have to TOTALLY disagree with Latina7. My sister is in an interacial marriage with 8 children. (she is white, her husband is black). Living in VA they used to get stared at constantly. in NJ, they never have a problem. Even in the most rural sections of NJ
LOLOL. Stop whacking yourself in the head. It'll leave a mark. You said:
As far as I know, no one has said anything to me since I've moved to New Jersey, but do I feel like people treat me differently sometimes? Absolutely. I feel like they look at me and think, 'Oh, she's not one of us. She doesn't even speak Spanish,'
and that sounds EXACTLY as if you are saying you think people in NJ in general speak Spanish and think you're odd if you don't.
Not sure if it's legal for you to have an opinion, since you're from Tennessee and all. I'll check with an attorney and get back to you on that one.
I can't say anything personally about Tennessee, since I've never been there, although I hear it's a pretty place. But if you're going to prance into a state forum and haughtily declare that YOUR home state is "far superior", don't throw the back of your hand to your forehead and act shocked when you get some blowback for it.
Great post (would rep you if I could!). I really don't think that Focused meant it as harshly as it came out, but sweeping generalizations are bound to get a reaction. We may be sensitive to some NJ stereotypes, just as TN folks may be sensitive to some other stereotypes.
Location: The place where the road & the sky collide
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mickydidymus
My wife and I have been scouting NJ for some time, and we are ready to make realistic plans to visit to see if we can live there. As part of our research I wanted to field my answers to these questions to some NJ natives so we can see what we’re getting ourselves into. We are an interracial couple and want the best for our children. We heard that Englewood, NJ is one of the best places to raise biracial kids, but since I read that in a book, I figured I should probably ask real people. I am a Masters level Social Worker and plan to support my family on my income alone (around $50,000 or so). Is that even possible?
Where are you coming from?
Nashville, TN
Why are you moving?
We want to get as far away from country music as physically possible. We find the South is not as tolerant of inter-ethnicity as it purports.
Where will you be working ? If NYC, what part of NYC?
I am a Social Worker by trade. I will most likely begin working at a hospital first and gradually transition into the private sector. Wouldn’t mind working in the City, but realistically may end up working in a NJ county. I plan to develop a private practice in NJ, however.
Will you buy or rent?
We will eventually buy, but plan to take out a short lease while we look for a house.
Looking to buy, What is your budget ?
Budget is around 200-250 for a house. Not really looking to go much higher than that. We should have an annual income of around $50,000.
What kind of place are you looking for ?
Really, anything in good enough shape to handle a large family (3+ kiddos).
Do you need/want good public schools?
YES!!!
Briefly describe the kind of neighborhood you'd like to live in
We are looking for a suburban neighborhood that is safe. We have to have a yard for our large Dog, and kiddos. It would be nice to have some hiking available as well. It may sound like a contradiction, but we would also like to live within a reasonable distance of the City.
Based on your budget, I'd say look in South Jersey or the Piedmont of NC.
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I actually never said everyone who lives in NJ speaks Spanish. I was giving a personal example, which reflects only myself and limited experience in the state. Not once did I refer to the whole state. I was juxtaposing his statements on race being a factor in wanting to move from Tennessee.
