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Old 09-01-2013, 06:39 AM
167 posts, read 288,603 times
Reputation: 142


Once again NJ Legislature is voting on a bill to open birth certificates to adoptees. It has already passed in the senate. This years bill will be a no contact preference where every adoptee will have the right to have the birth parents identity and will be able to decide whether they will respect the no contact preference or not. No consequences if they contact. Gov. Christie conditionally vetoed the last bill that passed the senate and representatives. A bill that gave the birth parent a veto option which would keep her identity unknown only if she filled out the veto form with in a year of the law passing and if every 10 years then as she ages every 5 years she reports medical information. Gov. Christie wanted the use of an intermediary contacting the birthparent. It was a no from those in legislature and those in the adoption reform movement. Gov. Christie responded with they want it all. Adoption is about three parties.

Only 11% of adoptees in Oregon obtained their birth certificates. Ill. only 2.5%, RI less than 800. It is not the majority of adoptees who seek birth certificates yet the news media makes it sound like it is the majority. Women's choice of adoption with privacy in an unplanned unwanted pregnancy is being taken away. A choice that gives a child a chance at life even if it means maybe a small number of that 11% will not get a birth certificate they may get a life instead. 5% of women still choose closed adoption, 40% choose semi open where identity is not known. 45 % open with identity known. Everyone is different. Women can have privacy if the choose to have an abortion. Women can have privacy if they have a child in a hotel room then bring the child to a safe haven. Women who receive help from an adoption agency then place the child in the loving arms of adopted parents will have their privacy taken away, sometimes decades later or will no longer be able to choose privacy.
The change in law affects mostly older women who have no idea the law has changed after decades of privacy.

No contacts and vetoes do not work. Many women, especially older women will not know the law has changed.

Oprah's mother said no contact more than once. The adoptee went on to other family members until she got what she wanted. It's a forced relationship.

N.J. woman relives painful past after child she gave up for adoption reaches out - NY Daily News

This women said no contact. A no wasn't enough for the adoptee. She researched found the birthparent's lawyer who happened to be the birth parents son law to try and get him to intervene. She then went on to other family members. One no should be enough.

Dear Prudence: My birth mother wants nothing to do with me. - Slate Magazine

This birth parent got a surprise contact she didn't want. A no wasn't enough for the adoptee. The message being sent is she is entitled and she is going to do what she has to in order to get what she wants.

This family of birth siblings are dealing with the consequences of an unhappy adoptee an active member in the adoption reform movement. 26 | June | 2013 | Refuting a Book of Lies: Forbidden Family --

Many more birthparents will be getting a surprise unwanted contact with this law.

Unfortunately, the media doesn't tell both sides of the story. They always tell the fairy tale. The story where the birth mother was forced to give up the child. She would have kept her child if only she could. It was society, her parents, the church if times were different. That many birth mothers have been waiting decades for the adoptee to find them or that most birthparents welcome contact. The truth is some women use adoption just like women use abortion when found in an unplanned unwanted pregnancy. Only difference they give a child a chance at life. Just like some women who choose abortion are able to talk openly about it so are some women who choose adoption. Just like some women who choose abortion are never able to speak of it to any one so are some women who choose adoption. Just like some women who choose abortion will have regrets so will women who choose adoption.

Mutual consent. Taking choices away from women for 11% of adoptees in Oregon, 2.5% in IL less than 800 in RI. We fought so hard for women's right to choose. Now a choice is being taken away that gives a child a chance at life. I'm pro choice but I don't understand why we keep making abortion easier for women while taking choices away from women if they choose adoption. We should be make adoption easier for women found in an unplanned unwanted pregnancy.

We are told times have changed. No so much most High schools will not allow a pregnant teen to stay in her normal every day classes. Most parents still would not be so happy to have their teen come home pregnant. Most parents would want their teen to have as many choices as possible from keeping the child, to choices in adoption including privacy, to abortion. President Obama once said he would not want his girls to suffer the rest of their life if found in an unplanned unwanted pregnancy. In order for them not to suffer they need to have a choice that is right for them.

Mutual Consent. Contact legislature if you believe women should have a choice when choosing adoption. Just like some adoptees want privacy so do some birth parents. Birthparents who want privacy can't speak out without giving up their identity. They aren't able to organize, create websites to speak out against this bill without giving up their identity. Support women's choice, support sisters, mothers, aunts, grandmothers right to choose what is right for them. Contact your legislature New Jersey Legislature - Find your State Representatives by Municipality Not denying adoptees. Mutual Consent. Adoption is about three parties.
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