Can we work out (2013, apartment, rent)

[counting_stars]

I met my ex September of 2012 in college (currently still in college I'm in my senior year) we hung out everyday spent so much time together, then when her and her roommate no longer got along I took her in at my apartment. We fell in love quick but it was honestly love I've ever felt in a relationship.

Time went on and she'd get mad at me for liking gir pictures on instagram I stopped bc I hated upsetting her. Around May 2013 I was flirting with a chick I new for a while on KIK and she was so mad upset with me we almost broke up. Then around June the same thing occurred and this time was on Facebook and I lied about snapchating my ex, Although she caught me in the lie I ended up telling the truth. This time she was not happy about the situation at all very upset she was. I broke her heart and I was so mad at myself for letting this happen. Bc she's honestly the sweetest most precious person I've ever met.

Luckily for me she gave me another chance I believe she gave me 3. Regardless I worked so hard that summer to keep us together and it worked. Come September I had new roommates. For the first time in college having fun roommates so I'd hang out with them more then her. She was upset very upset and when she'd tell me how upset she was one of my roommates and his friend they would tell me i don't need that garbage it's my senior year blah blah. For weeks that seed was planted in my head. When she finally broke up with me i was okay at first.

After the first week I realized what the hell I didn't want us to break up and I wanted to talk to her but my roommate (the one who told me I don't need her) told me she was hooking up with guys and ****ing them I was so freakin heart broken. I wanted to talk to her but I found out she hated me bc people were telling her I too was hooking up and ****ing girls. Which wasn't true! From mid September to November I heard a this garbage and then at the bar guys would swarm her whatever. I was put in the worst depression imaginable.

After my birthday (November 25) I messaged her for the second time since we broke up asking to talk saying I missed blah blah. She actually called me angerly said we can talk. When she arrived she did a lot of yelling until I was able to explain myself then I got mad at her and we realized the people that were saying all and this were messing with our heads and hearts like they didn't want us together.

After we talked we were still distant I finally started seeing a therapist and after talking about my hole life up until that moment I was diagnosed with manic depression. For the past month I was trying to win her heart I took her to breakfast, lunch, Coffee. We hung out and fooled around. About a week ago I fell into the trap and I liked a girls picture on instagram and commented on it. Then I lied about something on this whisper app. I felt like such an awful person I was going through group therapy and I explained everything about that situation. I'm learning about my mind and I'm trying to cope with it.

I'm medicated and after 5 sessions 6th one tomorrow I'm feeling a little bit better. I've deleted all social media bc it's ruining my life. I am a good person I just make mistakes that hurt the ones I love and care about. Good news is I spend the last night with her not the full night I was at her apartment from 6pm-12 am. We talked about a lot it was real nice we cuddled and I tried to be very cute with her.

I come here for advise I know my story is long but you need to hear it. We both aren't in love with one another but still love and care for each other. She's been by my side during the therapy and treatment. I know she hasn't given up on me. I know she's heart broken so I must be patient. Do you think there's a chance of us falling back in love even though she's so defensive. I'm not trying to force anything so I'm trying to be very gentle about the situation. I'll continue to be a gentleman and a sweetheart but idk I feel like there is no reassurance.

Can I get someone's opinion. I do love her a lot and other than my mistakes our relationship was amazing.

[Mightyqueen801]

Why are you posting this in a forum about New Jersey? Ask the moderator to move it to the Relationships forum.

[Retriever]

When I read the title of the thread, "Can we work out", I thought that somebody in NJ was looking for a workout/exercise partner.
Obviously I was wrong, but...in view of the actual nature of the post...Wouldn't it be more appropriate to post this issue in the "Relationships" forum, rather than in the NJ Forum?

I strongly suggest that you re-post your issue here:
//www.city-data.com/forum/relationships/

And, a different title for your thread might be a good idea...

[Mightyqueen801]

Originally Posted by Retriever

When I read the title of the thread, "Can we work out", I thought that somebody in NJ was looking for a workout/exercise partner.
Obviously I was wrong, but...in view of the actual nature of the post...Wouldn't it be more appropriate to post this issue in the "Relationships" forum, rather than in the NJ Forum?

I strongly suggest that you re-post your issue here:
//www.city-data.com/forum/relationships/

And, a different title for your thread might be a good idea...

Yes, I thought something similar.

[HubCityMadMan]

Just try to talk to her everyday and take it one step at a time every time you see her now. You can't make it work. If it works, it will work. And yes, do yourself a favor and get off instagram or facebook or whatever other social network you are on. Very drama inducing, and when you get out of school looking for a job, they are going to look for that too and if they see anything there they do not like they will hold it against you and toss your app in the trash.

[CaptainNJ]

Originally Posted by counting_stars

I
After we talked we were still distant I finally started seeing a therapist and after talking about my hole life up until that moment I was diagnosed with manic depression.

we suspect my older brother's fiancé/baby mama also suffers from bipolar disorder. I think you would be doing her a huge favor if you stay out of her life.

in any case, it sounds like you are too immature to be in a serious relationship so you should just stay away from each other. after you have a job, pay rent, act like an adult; then contact her and see if you can be together as adults.

[HubCityMadMan]

Originally Posted by CaptainNJ

we suspect my older brother's fiancé/baby mama also suffers from bipolar disorder. I think you would be doing her a huge favor if you stay out of her life.

Wonder what they have to say about their younger brother who suffers from Asperger's syndrome living in his parents' basement doing nothing all day but playing troll on these boards, who I think would do us all a favor by not posting anymore.

[counting_stars]

I do pay rent and have a job I posted in the wrong forum sorry. I wanted suggestions not to be harassed and be judged thank you very much...

And hubcitymadman thank you for your suggestion I will take it one day at a time we hung out this morning it was nice. I'm doing everything to better myself and I have a lot to prove.


Sorry to everyone else about posting in wrong place

[CaptainNJ]

Originally Posted by HubCityMadMan

Wonder what they have to say about their younger brother who suffers from Asperger's syndrome living in his parents' basement doing nothing all day but playing troll on these boards, who I think would do us all a favor by not posting anymore.

haha you and PDD should get together sometime. the two most miserable people on the nj forum would make for some good times together.

[CaptainNJ]

Originally Posted by counting_stars

I do pay rent and have a job I posted in the wrong forum sorry. I wanted suggestions not to be harassed and be judged thank you very much...

And hubcitymadman thank you for your suggestion I will take it one day at a time we hung out this morning it was nice. I'm doing everything to better myself and I have a lot to prove.


Sorry to everyone else about posting in wrong place

I appreciate you posting here, no need to apologize. you need a few more years on your own to mature. that particular piece of advice is without any negative judgment. if you want to like other girls pictures on instagram and send naked pics of yourself via snapchat; that's what you should be doing. but you shouldn't bother yourself trying to put together this fake relationship with this girl.