"Is your son adopted?" (Wyckoff: living in, store, racist)
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Probably not a NJ section topic but I primarily post here so here goes:
I'm asian and my wife is caucasian. We recently had our 1st child 8 weeks ago and as you can imagine, he looks slightly asian and well, slightly caucasian.
So my wife is at CVS this morning picking up a few things up here in north jersey (Wyckoff to be exact) and an elderly lady walks up to her and says "Your baby is very cute and exotic looking. Where did you adopt him from?". My wife, without taking any offense, went on to explain that her husband is asian and she in fact is the biological mother. Other customers in the store listening to this just shook their heads/rolled their eyes in disbelief that this lady would ask something like this.
I personally thought it was funny when my wife called to tell me about it and she thought it was amusing (I've been asked at a supermarket where one can find a bottle of soy sauce so this is nothing - again in north jersey - I told her I didn't know and she walked away shaking her head).
Question is, would you CD folks react the same way my wife did or would you have been offended? If so, what would you have said?
Last edited by Ivan Putski; 07-29-2014 at 01:58 PM..
"When was the last time you were intimate with someone? Oh, wait, I'm sorry, are we not asking total strangers personal questions? I thought that was what you wanted."
It's nothing to get offended over, or poke fun at. The lady who asked is from an older generation. My dad got asked when we were babies but that was 30+years ago.
I think this is overreacting a little, maybe because I get asked sometimes and it doesn't bother me at all. The OP's wife wasn't offended. I guess It could be offensive, depending on how the lady said it, but given that she was older and living in a majority white area I believe I'd give her the benefit of the doubt. She did compliment the baby after all.
i think its fine as long as there is no malice. some people are a little less careful than others. i think if you are easily offended by this stuff, you have an insecurity problem.
I've been asked numerous times if one of my daughters is adopted. I think most of the time the questioner is interested in adoption herself (it's always been women). I always thought it was funny and never took offense.
I've got one for this adoption issue. My children, both biological to their dad and me, look very little alike. Several people have reacted with surprise when they are told they are biological siblings. My daughter took after her father's side of the family, which is mostly Irish, and my son took after my side, which is Irish, English, Scottish and Indian. When they were younger, my son told my daughter that she was actually their aunt's daughter (because she favors her) but they only wanted boys so their dad and I adopted her! He was definitely punished for that one and she was very firmly reassured that she was born to us. Now, it's a funny story; then, not so much.
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