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That is the sad fact in NJ, that anything related to firearms, including lawful self defense, is vilified. Regardless of whether or not she is justified in shooting him, she will be led out in handcuffs, jailed if she can't make bail, and have to incur substantial legal fees to protect herself from a prosecutor looking to put another notch in his belt and possibly also from family members looking to make a buck in civil court. I hope OP doesn't end up in the situation having to be "judged by 12 or carried by 6", but if you really think about it, which would you choose?
It's really easily to dismiss the guy as simply some disturbed individual that's misunderstood by society when it isn't your mother, sister, or daughter that's being threatened by him.
Edit: In general, I do believe OP should get a gun, and more importantly, get trained in its use. It's not as easy as it seems in the movies and tv. The problem is that I don't think it's going to help in this situation because getting one in NJ can be a 2-6 month process, and I bet her lease will be up by the time she actually gets a ID card/permit to buy one.
Btw, here's a great post on how a gun owner should deal with an intruder
That's a very interesting post, thanks for sharing it. Someone could do exactly the same thing and not have a gun at all, and simply say they have one and have called 911. Doing that is a better plan than just hiding and saying nothing.
I think the problem with the gun solution, is that you don't know when and if you would be attacked or threaten. She could be walking to or from her car and he pops out at her. She would have to carry it with her all the time and have it accessible.
Looks like she is moving so hopefully she doesn't have to be faced with this.
Edit: In general, I do believe OP should get a gun,
By the time she applies for a gun permit in New Jersey and possibly gets a gun her lease will be up and more then likely be eligible for social security.
I'm not talking about the situation, I'm talking about how one could protect themselves so they aren't charged with a crime afterwards. That's a valid question. Everyone stops the advice after saying get a gun and shoot the guy. OK, you shoot what you believe to be the bad guy. How should this be done in NJ that it was a legit and non-disputed situation. I don't work in law enforcement and I'm not an attorney.
while this is a legit concern, it shouldn't factor into whether or not to have a gun and whether or not to use it when you are threatened. one reason I discussed this with my wife is to create a clear understanding that I don't want her concerns for the law or fear of hurting someone cloud her decision making process. I will spend all my money defending her if need be. the law doesn't really matter very much if you are dead.
By the time she applies for a gun permit in New Jersey and possibly gets a gun her lease will be up and more then likely be eligible for social security.
I forget how long it took for me to get mine but probably 3 months or so. I probably posted it in this forum, ill try to find it to get a better timeframe. it would be good to start the process and have one for the future anyway. for the time being, id see if I could get a family member's gun to borrow or start carrying something like pepper spray. I think a woman would be too easy to disarm with a knife, id suggest the woman not reveal that she has a knife until its definitely going into an attacker. they will need the benefit of surprise.
while this is a legit concern, it shouldn't factor into whether or not to have a gun and whether or not to use it when you are threatened. one reason I discussed this with my wife is to create a clear understanding that I don't want her concerns for the law or fear of hurting someone cloud her decision making process. I will spend all my money defending her if need be. the law doesn't really matter very much if you are dead.
I understand that, but it doesn't hurt to have knowledge and planning now before the situation comes up. There is absolutely no penalty in becoming educated about the law and your rights, and how and went to use it.
Fortunately, the OP is following the advice of many on here and is moving to avoid any further conflict with this nut.
I forget how long it took for me to get mine but probably 3 months or so. I probably posted it in this forum, ill try to find it to get a better timeframe. it would be good to start the process and have one for the future anyway. for the time being, id see if I could get a family member's gun to borrow or start carrying something like pepper spray. I think a woman would be too easy to disarm with a knife, id suggest the woman not reveal that she has a knife until its definitely going into an attacker. they will need the benefit of surprise.
At what distance can pepper spray be effective? Does your wife carry pepper spray? Can you recommend a product and a link for women to carry? I think it would provide immediate safety for the OP if she had this while she is in the process of moving.
At what distance can pepper spray be effective? Does your wife carry pepper spray? Can you recommend a product and a link for women to carry? I think it would provide immediate safety for the OP if she had this while she is in the process of moving.
i primarily prohibit my wife from going to questionable places. she isnt really out at night without me. i have purchased her an air horn thing and a metal item for punching. i have had my eye out for a knife but didnt see one i liked. ultimately, i feel that a woman is screwed when it comes to a male attacker (hence the air horn instead of weapon). if she had a situation like the OP, id insist she carry a gun. my wife is from puerto rico and i prohibit her from traveling there with our children (she doesnt really go back anymore anyway).
i primarily prohibit my wife from going to questionable places. she isnt really out at night without me. i have purchased her an air horn thing and a metal item for punching. i have had my eye out for a knife but didnt see one i liked. ultimately, i feel that a woman is screwed when it comes to a male attacker (hence the air horn instead of weapon). if she had a situation like the OP, id insist she carry a gun. my wife is from puerto rico and i prohibit her from traveling there with our children (she doesnt really go back anymore anyway).
Questionable places, those are fairly easy to avoid. It's things like people getting mugged in the mall parking garage that concern me. This happen to a friend of mine's co-worker and as a result he always parks in the open.
Do you have anything against the pepper spray? I never heard of using an air horn before.
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Edit: In general, I do believe OP should get a gun,
