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Old 01-15-2008, 01:36 PM
 
Location: Warren County, NJ
41 posts, read 150,467 times
Reputation: 20

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Habit or familiarity?
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Old 01-15-2008, 01:43 PM
 
Location: middle of NJ
72 posts, read 213,439 times
Reputation: 14
thanks to everyone for their well wishes and advice. I really don't know yet if i want to leave. i did a pro and con list and it is about even. i know nj will be a great place to visit.i also can't think of anywhere that has a better school system as a whole.
please keep the advice coming.
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Old 01-15-2008, 01:49 PM
 
Location: Southern New Jersey
1,725 posts, read 3,111,215 times
Reputation: 348
I moved here because I love my husband and this is where he grew up (I'm from PA) and until recently he wasn't willing to leave. Now, we have to save money and fix up our house.

If you already have someplace wonderful to go to...then why are you still here?
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Old 01-15-2008, 01:53 PM
 
Location: middle of NJ
72 posts, read 213,439 times
Reputation: 14
Quote:
Originally Posted by MamaBee View Post

If you already have someplace wonderful to go to...then why are you still here?
this is what i have been asking myself.
i have been on the vermont forum and there is alot of doom and gloom.plus this is still my home, just wondering if it is worth staying. i really want whats best for my kids.i worry everytime my son goes 2 blocks to his friends.
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Old 01-15-2008, 01:54 PM
 
1,800 posts, read 5,706,045 times
Reputation: 748
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1luvvt View Post
thanks to everyone for their well wishes and advice. I really don't know yet if i want to leave. i did a pro and con list and it is about even. i know nj will be a great place to visit.i also can't think of anywhere that has a better school system as a whole.
please keep the advice coming.
Oh boy, pros and cons about the same? You really have a lot of soul-searching to do before you make any major decisions. In a situation like that, I would give it six months or so, and then revisit the dilemma. But you have children to consider, which makes it that much more difficult. What does the rest of your family think?
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Old 01-15-2008, 01:59 PM
 
Location: middle of NJ
72 posts, read 213,439 times
Reputation: 14
Quote:
Originally Posted by stmaarten View Post
What does the rest of your family think?
the wife is on the fence. the first year we were married(93') we moved to st louis to learn to live together and she cried every night for 3 months. we have since grew up and i still wonder if she would be able to leave. the kids really don't know, i don't think they really get the question.
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Old 01-15-2008, 02:53 PM
 
1,800 posts, read 5,706,045 times
Reputation: 748
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1luvvt View Post
the wife is on the fence. the first year we were married(93') we moved to st louis to learn to live together and she cried every night for 3 months. we have since grew up and i still wonder if she would be able to leave. the kids really don't know, i don't think they really get the question.
Just don't make any rash decisions, as your wife may have many more tearful episodes if you leave too quickly. You mentioned that you have a place in VT. How does she feel when she's there? Not sure how many similarities there are between NJ and VT. Would it be a huge change/adjustment for your family? It sounds like you're ready to leave, but your wife/kids aren't.
I really hope you can find a happy solution.
When my husband told me that he wanted to move to NC, I was skeptical and very nervous. It turned out to be a good move for us, but I'm used to moving A LOT, so I know what it takes to adjust. But it's definitely NOT easy. Heck, I went through a period of adjustment when we moved from Bergen Cty. to Sussex Cty. in New Jersey.
Good Luck to you!
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Old 01-15-2008, 03:09 PM
 
Location: middle of NJ
72 posts, read 213,439 times
Reputation: 14
Quote:
Originally Posted by stmaarten View Post
Just don't make any rash decisions, as your wife may have many more tearful episodes if you leave too quickly. You mentioned that you have a place in VT. How does she feel when she's there? Not sure how many similarities there are between NJ and VT. Would it be a huge change/adjustment for your family? It sounds like you're ready to leave, but your wife/kids aren't.
We both feel like we found our place on earth when we are in vt. We keep asking each other is it just because we are visiting or is it real. no real way to know until we go. The kids really don't have or aren't shareing thier feelings either way. the 11 year old would only care if i let him play video games all day(witch will never happen). cost of living seems almost the same when all things are added up.the schools seem ok and with class sizes of 14 to 1 and 500 total kids in the whole high school i think that might be good.the wife keeps saying lets go but i'm the cautious one.hopfully with all the good advice i'm getting i'll be able to decide. my job will stay the same with the same money just a longer commute. i only work two 20 hour days. plus we already have the house,but it is much smaller.(2800 to 1800)
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Old 01-15-2008, 03:10 PM
 
Location: Central NJ, by the shore
63 posts, read 233,497 times
Reputation: 28
I'm headed out to SC end of Feb and I can't wait! I can actually make a better salary there than in NJ for what I do (IT), and the cost of living is 1/4th of what it costs here.

I used to love NJ....but it's gotten so corrupt, and yes, the percentage of nasty people have grown exponentially in the last 10 yrs. In Delaware, my brother pays $400/yr for his 3 bd 2 bth 2000 sq ft home on half acre. Here in NJ, he had a tiny 3 bedrm 1 ba ranch home with no property and paid $4000/yr property taxes. Now, not only were there no state taxes in DE, but there were also NO POTHOLES IN THE ROADS. Whereas in NJ, some of the road are atrocious. So, my question is, just where is our tax money going cuz it certainly ain't going where it's supposed to be going.

THAT my friend, is why people are leaving NJ.
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Old 01-15-2008, 03:21 PM
 
Location: New Jersey/Florida
5,818 posts, read 12,600,312 times
Reputation: 4414
Well said Nancy and you forgot to add in that Delaware also has NO sales tax. They pee our money away worst than a drunken sailor on leave.
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