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Old 06-24-2016, 11:21 AM
 
Location: North Carolina by way of New Jersey
175 posts, read 203,482 times
Reputation: 105

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Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptainNJ View Post
so how do you define "snobby"? what did these people do to treat you awfully? why do you hate these people? when i said that you will get along with some people, that didnt mean that you will hate the other people. you seem like you have a problem socializing with others. just because you dont get along with certain people doesnt make it appropriate for you to hate them. i deal with lots of different types of people and even ones that I have no interest socializing with would I say that i hate them.

i have no interest in defending NJ. it has positives and negatives and everyone needs to make their own informed decision. im sure that as a sophomore in college you believe your decision is very well informed and adults will probably disagree with you.

im not going to say "oh, you wanted opinions and I'm just being honest." i dont care if you dont like my opinions, I will give them without qualification. i am a captain.

who calls themselves a sweetie pie? clearly i do.
Snobby people are people who have superiority complexes because their parents made more money than most. I hated (note PAST-tense) those people because they made fun of me relentlessly and then ostracized me for speaking out against how I was treated. I had every right to express my anger and resentment. Just because I hated people for treating me like a sub-human being doesn't mean I have "social difficulties". I very much prefer to avoid people whom I dislike over forcing myself to be nice to them. That's just who I am. I would rather distance myself from WF entirely than ever attend a HS reunion. That's my opinion.

Are you actually a captain, or is it just a username? Real talk. I honestly did take exception to how harsh you sounded, and it's why I was even harsher with my response to you. While I understand that you're coming from a position of experience, please tone down the condescension. It wasn't necessary, and it makes me question how much of a " sweetie pie" you really are.

Last edited by rekaten; 06-24-2016 at 12:41 PM..

 
Old 06-24-2016, 11:49 AM
Gup
 
115 posts, read 202,572 times
Reputation: 34
Happiness comes from within.

rekaten - you sounds like you want to the "right" thing for you and your fam, but I don't think you know what that is yet. people on here are basically giving frank insight and, while it can be hard to swallow, give it some thought. To sum it up, you are a young fellow thinking of making a big move for you and your family and are having second thoughts. I would read what is written on here and then listen to what your inside tells you and then make decision and stick with it. Coming on the nj forum and bashing wf isn't exactly going to win you a medal as the place is highly liked, and, from what I know of it, rightfully so.
 
Old 06-24-2016, 12:36 PM
 
Location: North Carolina by way of New Jersey
175 posts, read 203,482 times
Reputation: 105
Gup - I probably don't. I've been on the NC Triangle forum and that assures me, but coming on here is the opposite. I'm not bashing Westfield - only those who have no formal experience with living in the town could really bash it. I've told it like it is here. Yes, I've been mostly negative, but I repeatedly point out the positives as well. So it's not bashing, just very blunt honesty. But I'm taking everything said on all of my threads into consideration. Still leaning towards hopefully moving to NC ASAP.
 
Old 06-24-2016, 01:07 PM
 
Location: NJ
31,771 posts, read 40,480,002 times
Reputation: 24590
Quote:
Originally Posted by rekaten View Post
Snobby people are people who have superiority complexes because their parents made more money than most. I hated (note PAST-tense) those people because they made fun of me relentlessly and then ostracized me for speaking out against how I was treated. I had every right to express my anger and resentment. Just because I hated people for treating me like a sub-human being doesn't mean I have "social difficulties". I very much prefer to avoid people whom I dislike over forcing myself to be nice to them. That's just who I am. I would rather distance myself from WF entirely than ever attend a HS reunion. That's my opinion.

Are you actually a captain, or is it just a username? Real talk. I honestly did take exception to how harsh you sounded, and it's why I was even harsher with my response to you. While I understand that you're coming from a position of experience, please tone down the condescension. It wasn't necessary, and it makes me question how much of a " sweetie pie" you really are.
i tend to believe that people that label others as "snobby" have an inferiority complex. ive never known anyone to actually belittle someone for their lack of wealth. i wish i could see these interactions that you speak of where people made fun of you for your family's financial situation. it would be inconsistent with what i have seen. though, if someone does have a bad attitude, people will push your buttons and choose a topic that is sensitive to the target. i think a lot of this is just your youth. you will learn as you age how to deal with various people without being dramatic about it.

i have been using "Captain" as a prefix for my various internet usernames for the past 20 years or so. i am an old school internet troll. dont worry about being harsh with me, i am not emotionally impacted by anything anyone says. i perceive your post as somewhat disrespectful of your father and his position. i know you do not mean it that way but i am putting myself in his shoes in this discussion (even though he is probably a good amount older than me) and I wouldnt appreciate your manner on this subject if i were him.
 
Old 06-24-2016, 01:16 PM
 
Location: North Carolina by way of New Jersey
175 posts, read 203,482 times
Reputation: 105
Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptainNJ View Post
i tend to believe that people that label others as "snobby" have an inferiority complex. ive never known anyone to actually belittle someone for their lack of wealth. i wish i could see these interactions that you speak of where people made fun of you for your family's financial situation. it would be inconsistent with what i have seen. though, if someone does have a bad attitude, people will push your buttons and choose a topic that is sensitive to the target. i think a lot of this is just your youth. you will learn as you age how to deal with various people without being dramatic about it.

i have been using "Captain" as a prefix for my various internet usernames for the past 20 years or so. i am an old school internet troll. dont worry about being harsh with me, i am not emotionally impacted by anything anyone says. i perceive your post as somewhat disrespectful of your father and his position. i know you do not mean it that way but i am putting myself in his shoes in this discussion (even though he is probably a good amount older than me) and I wouldnt appreciate your manner on this subject if i were him.
Well, I don't have an inferiority complex. The people that gave me a hard time never made fun of my family's financial situation, as I wasn't even allowed to speak about it at the time. People made fun of me for stupid stuff I said when I was 13 or 14 or 15 or even 16 years old and a lot of people had preconceived notions about and biases against me based on scuttlebutt that people would love to pass around. However, WF teens are a very judgmental and stuck-up bunch as a whole. Case in point: the rich-out against Scotch Plains football last October.

How am I disrespecting my father's position?
 
Old 06-24-2016, 01:17 PM
 
Location: The place where the road & the sky collide
23,809 posts, read 34,443,504 times
Reputation: 10256
Quote:
Originally Posted by rekaten View Post
@Mattie: interesting article indeed. It's pretty cool to see different perspectives, particularly the exact opposite of mine from a fellow WF resident! Everyone has their own reasons to live where they do. I personally don't think that the caliber of the high school alone is worth all the anguish we've had to battle through for 4-5+ years already. I have no idea what my brother's exact opinion/reaction on the prospect of moving OOS, all I know is that he doesn't think it's happening. I hear my sister's concerns loud and clear. But I also think my dad should hear me out, and especially my mom.

My dad used to be a stockbroker, then he switched careers to working with the developmentally disabled. He then left that job several years back to start a business with my mom which sadly failed.

@JerseyGirl415: okay, I snapped because you called me selfish and CaptainNJ (yes, I know his username; my previous comment had been on purpose) had been very condescending throughout the thread. Perhaps I was a bit overly rude to you in my response, but then again, you probably shouldn't have accused me of not having my family's best interests in mind. That was unnecessary. Of course WF wasn't all bad - I may have made some mistakes that still leave me scratching my head in hindsight, but I guess I needed to make them to learn. And the WHS name is well-known to a lot of colleges. You Whatever happens, I feel my dad will weigh all of our concerns carefully and come to the best decision for the family. If that means we stay put in the 908, then I guess that's fine. I can always remain in NC after college and beyond.

@GiantRutgersFan: Where did I say that I would be the one to make the decision for the family?? All I'm saying is that I should have some input in my family's matters because we're really close-knit. Only my dad is in his mid-50s; mom is mid-40s. I get what you're saying about it being a decision between my two parents, which is what it will ultimately be in the end. But I don't think that us three children should just have our voices be shut out entirely.

@Gerania: congrats. I'm happy you're doing well up here, NC to NJ isn't nearly as common as the other way around. I don't think the grass should be assumed to be greener up here, either. But, of course, to each their own.

P.S. to all reading this thread...one (NOT the only) of the main reasons I am pushing for an NC move to happen within the next year is so I can get in-state tuition next year. We had to take out quite a decent amount of loans my first year, and it looks like more of the same for this coming year. My parents saved a college fund for me when my dad was doing well in his career, but it apparently isn't as large as I initially believed. At least once a day, I worry about how my parents are gonna pay for my college tuition given the (financial state) we are currently in. The fear really sets in on the occasion where I see an in-state student have to take a year off from school or leave entirely because it's too expensive. Take that as you will.
In your first post on this topic, on the NC board, I pointed out that it seemed a bit selfish for you to be wanting your parents to step on it so that you could get in-state tuition. You didn't like that at all. I didn't get into it on that board but you made a decision & you need to deal with the consequences of that decision. Many people on the NC board don't know it, but now you've moved this to the NJ board where people know that top students are offered a free ride at Rutgers, if you turned down a free ride, why should your siblings pay for your decision & your mother give up a pension & retirement benefits?
 
Old 06-24-2016, 01:22 PM
 
Location: North Carolina by way of New Jersey
175 posts, read 203,482 times
Reputation: 105
Quote:
Originally Posted by southbound_295 View Post
In your first post on this topic, on the NC board, I pointed out that it seemed a bit selfish for you to be wanting your parents to step on it so that you could get in-state tuition. You didn't like that at all. I didn't get into it on that board but you made a decision & you need to deal with the consequences of that decision. Many people on the NC board don't know it, but now you've moved this to the NJ board where people know that top students are offered a free ride at Rutgers, if you turned down a free ride, why should your siblings pay for your decision & your mother give up a pension & retirement benefits?
I objected to that by explaining that I had other reasons for wanting my family to move. My mom doesn't seem to mind giving up a pension, as has it has been said numerous times that she is very discontent in NJ and she wants out ASAP.

I never applied to Rutgers. Not my cup of tea.
 
Old 06-24-2016, 01:31 PM
 
Location: The place where the road & the sky collide
23,809 posts, read 34,443,504 times
Reputation: 10256
Quote:
Originally Posted by rekaten View Post
I objected to that by explaining that I had other reasons for wanting my family to move. My mom doesn't seem to mind giving up a pension, as has it has been said numerous times that she is very discontent in NJ.

I never applied to Rutgers. Not my cup of tea.
My nephew turned down a free ride to Rutgers, which he did not apply for, as did my niece. They went to other schools because of programs offered at those schools for their majors.
 
Old 06-24-2016, 01:37 PM
 
Location: Bergen County, NJ
3,988 posts, read 3,542,939 times
Reputation: 5734
For someone who sounds so sure about your decision to leave NJ, you sure do a lot of explaining.
 
Old 06-24-2016, 01:43 PM
 
Location: North Carolina by way of New Jersey
175 posts, read 203,482 times
Reputation: 105
@SB295: I only applied to one NJ school, a private school that was my safety. They were my first acceptance, but I never seriously considered it at all.

@Hudson: it's only because people miss important little snippets that I wrote and I end up having to repeat myself all over again. I'm very sure, and I think my mom is as well.
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