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I need to let something out here because I don't know any other place I can do it.
Ft. Lee and the surrounding area, like Palisades Park holds a special place in my heart. When my parents emigrated to the US from India 30+ years ago, I remember them taking me here, to friends in NYC through the Lincoln Tunnel. Post 2003 ish I know there has been a large influx of east asians in the area from Queens and the like. Something that has been startling is how streets/meters etc have Korean writing, something I daresay would raise ire, let's say if it were in Spanish in Bergen County etc.
What more is how many Koreans, many of whom I feel are first generation/recent arrivals, simply refuse to engage anyone in English. Any restuarant/market, I rarely find anyone even being able to speak in English. I like some of their food like kombucha/fresh seaweed. Things that are hard to get, but goign to a market NO ONE speaks English. It's extremely frustrating. I can go to the Japanese market in Edgewater, the Chinese /Vietnamese stores in Jersey City and people know some of the rarest spices/teas you ask for. English terms not even an American layman would now.
Today I had one of the worst experiences at a restaurant in the area. First off, unless you are white, God forbid you are a minority, or worst off black, goign to a Korean restaurant, the servers do not treat you well. Koreans please understand taht other Asian groups like Persians or Indians are some of the most well off gropus in this country. There's no reason to think we're criminals, and quite frankly our presence in Ft. Lee has been longer than your's. I remember a worker put his hand up to this face, like I smelled (hey some Indians do, but I am emmaculate about personal hygiene) when I went to one of their markets and asked him a question. I had heard in a program my parents watched that in Korean the police are trained like this when approaching Indians, after an Indian student was assaulted there.
I saw a few sauces on my table, not only could the server not tell me what they were, another lady who greets tells me to put one sauce down (!) because it's only used on cold noodles. I ignore her, it was delicious.
I then ask for the dish with the 'most variety' since I don't eat Korean much, and I want to see where my palate falls. The only kind person in the entire restaurant was a younger Korean American man who came out, assuming he was a cook, from the kitchen to help. The server didn't come back the entire time I was in the restaurant to ask me of anything (I stayed nearly an hour by myself) and the greeter had my check, oddly I noticed, printed out beforehand and immediately gave it to me when I asked for it. I tipped 15% although a good Korean American friend I spoke to said its not typical to at Korean restaurants.
I grew up with a good number of Korean American friends and family. So I am not racist, I am asking respectfully, am I in the wrong here, am I missing something culturally here? Am I wrong to feel that there's a double standard in our greater NJ culture between perception of far eastern immigrant groups and other groups like Hispanics Egyptians etc?
My parents are emigrants. I understand learning a new language etc is hard. But I know Korean Americans here for 25+ years who still cannot express themselves well in English. Is enough enough? Being a minority and then being racist towards other minorities is NOT cool. Don't just say it's me either, many of my Latino/Middle Eastern/African American friends deal with this in ft .lee and palisades park
Last edited by gabagolemafia; 08-20-2016 at 06:30 PM..
So I am not racist, I am asking respectfully, am I in the wrong here, am I missing something culturally here? Am I wrong to feel that there's a double standard in our greater NJ culture between perception of far eastern immigrant groups and other groups like Hispanics Egyptians etc?
Yes, you are in the wrong. You want other people to be open minded but you are not. You expect other people to treat you the way you think you should be treated and when you are not, then you it's them instead of maybe it's you. Have you thought maybe in other cultures, the "fake friendliness" strangers show you that is common here is not something they do?
You took it too personal. As for the white people comment, did you actually see them treat another white customer better than you? If not, then I think you shouldn't make that assumption.
Yes, you are in the wrong. You want other people to be open minded but you are not. You expect other people to treat you the way you think you should be treated and when you are not, then you it's them instead of maybe it's you. Have you thought maybe in other cultures, the "fake friendliness" strangers show you that is common here is not something they do?
You took it too personal. As for the white people comment, did you actually see them treat another white customer better than you? If not, then I think you shouldn't make that assumption.
I did, a single white buy and an old Korean couple came in after I did yet were asked and served multiple times since. She didn't even answer me back, only to rush to serve them, when I asked a question. Extremely rude mannered. I don't care about friendliness. I hardly speak to anyone and am on my phone in a situatioin like that, I know Koreans are considered to be somewhat stoic, it's he difference in her service attitude that set me off.
https://www.yelp.com/search?find_des...Lee%2C+NJ&ns=1
a search on yelp in ft. lee of the term racist brings up more hits than any other town of that size I know. Confident my experience isn't unique, if this is true speak out.
Last edited by gabagolemafia; 08-20-2016 at 06:47 PM..
I grew up in that area, when Koreans were starting to move in. I have had good experiences with them, but I must say I, and most people have also had many many bad experiences with koreans. This is undeniable.
Like in school, they pretty much had their own ethnic clique, and fashion style. Some tried to act gangsta even though they living in white suburbs.
So many Koreans were embarrassed by their peers. It really was a sad situation.
I did, a single white buy and an old Korean couple came in after I did yet were asked and served multiple times since. She didn't even answer me back, only to rush to serve them, when I asked a question. Extremely rude mannered. I don't care about friendliness. I hardly speak to anyone and am on my phone in a situatioin like that, I know Koreans are considered to be somewhat stoic, it's he difference in her service attitude that set me off.
https://www.yelp.com/search?find_des...Lee%2C+NJ&ns=1
a search on yelp in ft. lee of the term racist brings up more hits than any other town of that size I know. Confident my experience isn't unique, if this is true speak out.
It's funny how you say you have Korean friends but will readily label ALL Koreans in Fort Lee when you just had a bad experience with ONE Korean server. Something isn't kosher with your story.
I grew up in that area, when Koreans were starting to move in. I have had good experiences with them, but I must say I, and most people have also had many many bad experiences with koreans. This is undeniable.
Like in school, they pretty much had their own ethnic clique, and fashion style. Some tried to act gangsta even though they living in white suburbs.
So many Koreans were embarrassed by their peers. It really was a sad situation.
People like hanging out with others that share the same culture, interests, etc. I mean...nobody else ever does that. The nerve of these Korean people.
OP, imo you are coming off as someone who felt superior to these Koreans and was insulted when they didn't treat you that way.
ALL immigrant groups have people with differing mastery of English. I once went into one of those Indian stores in Jersey City to buy some basmati rice. I asked a simple question of which one is best? The lady just looked back at me.
But then I went to a different Indian store down the street and the lady specifically told me what bag to get, that it was the most popular one.
Korean restaurants make their waiters work hard. Other restaurants you get an entree, sometimes with an app. At Korean restaurants, they have like 5-9 small banchan in addition to the meal. Those banchan are free and when people finish one and want more the waiters need to get it. They might not have time to go over everything with you.
What kind of question is asking for a dish with the most variety? What would you think to get served at an American diner with this question?
Many Asian servers don't like white customers because they are demanding and bad tippers. Take a typical white family that doesn't know what to order, spends like 20 mins trying to figure out what to order and constantly asks the servers what is this and that. Then wife tastes something she doesn't like and sends it back. What do you think the servers and restaurant owners think about that? Add to the insult that white folks are notoriously bad tippers at Asian restaurants which lead to many places that automatically put in 18% gratuity.
Korean food is not as well known as Chinese or Japanese cuisines so often non-Koreans can't handle the flavors especially spicy food.
I think most non-Koreans should stick to Yelp and go to some established place than just hop into any Korean places you'll get the nazi treatment for sure.
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