which school-far away private option or local school option? (renting, house)

[mommy2be1053]

I wasn't sure which subforum to put my dilemma in-whether in parenting, education or my state which in this case, is NJ. I'm a mom of 2 boys who will be 1st grader and preschooler by next Fall 2017.

Right now my oldest is in the far away private school where he's been since 3.5 years old, this school goes from Pre-K through 12th grades. We are at a crossroad in terms of best timing to transition. Most parents in my town is 60/40% in sending their kids to area private PreK schools and the rest to our public school via lottery system. That percentage changes from 60/40 to 90/10 when kids hit 1st grade with the bulk going to our local public school and the remaining 10% to private religious and non secular private schools.

My dilemma is while we are fortunate enough to afford the non secular private option, the school is FAR AWAY with 19 miles one way. That equals into 25 approx driving time 5 days a week twice a day.

The local public school is literally only around corner from me, which is very appealing and gets bussed from corner of my house to the school. That school holds PreK through 3rd grade, with the another school for 4th and 5th school about 1 mile away, and the HS is bit further out (7-8 miles out)

The cons with this particular elementary school is the size of it. It's huge with 700 students and there are NINE current Kindergarten classes (averging about 18 kids per class) which means it'll be nine classes for 1st grade next year. My son will be in one of those classes. That means every year the classes get changed up with no guarantee of my son's new friends being in same class. Whereas with the private option, it is more likely my son will remain in same class with about 40% of the students prior year into new school year.

which option would you go for? the far away school and suck up the commute or local public big school?

[amazin09]

Are you/will you be happy with the quality of education in both? Assuming yes, why not try the public school for a few years. 18 students is not a very large class size. I wouldn't shell out big bucks unless there were pressing reasons. True, schools shuffle classes but this can be a good thing too. Public school will let you make lots of friends who are local, and boys make friends at the playground and through sports as well. If it works out, you have a good network in place by the time your younger child starts first grade. If it doesn't, you can always switch later.

[CaptainNJ]

it depends on various factors. you only mentioned distance and class size. based on that, id choose local public.

i dont have personal experience with friends that i was in the same class every year. so i dont really know how that compares to the large school experience (which i always had). i would think the fact that the school is 20 miles away may be a bigger problem socially since you dont live near the people in your class.

[Mattie]

Captain is correct. Been there, done that. I lived in my car driving kids to playdates, birthday parties and sporting events.
When we moved, I put two of them in the public school which was much larger than what they had been used to. They thrived. Bigger schools also often means more choices, more extra-curriculars, and more chance of finding your niche.

I would give the public option a chance.

[mommy2be1053]

Education quality for lower elementary years is really pretty good in both schools, in different ways. But all of the moms in my town LOVE the local elementary schools, raves about it. Made few comments over the years that the pros always outweighed the few cons this public school has.

I feel almost wasteful, in a way that we're spending A LOT of money towards the private school while we have a perfectly great elementary option that doesn't cost us thousand of dollars per year. That money, if we switch to our public will go a long way towards our healthy retirement fund, more travel expenses which is always nice to have i think, and just more breathing room to spend money elsewhere too.

my main concern right now is the social aspect, while admittedly with the boys being still so young. I can't help but think the distance while annoying for ME now will become a much bigger issue down the road after 3rd grade with more sporting and activities opportunities.

[mommy2be1053]

Originally Posted by Mattie

Captain is correct. Been there, done that. I lived in my car driving kids to playdates, birthday parties and sporting events.
When we moved, I put two of them in the public school which was much larger than what they had been used to. They thrived. Bigger schools also often means more choices, more extra-curriculars, and more chance of finding your niche.

I would give the public option a chance.

how far was the old school for you to drive before you made the switch to public school? if we switch to our public schools, it doesn't also neccesarily mean bigger. As for instance, its the elementary school (from preK to 3rd grades) that is the largest school out of our whole district. Our middle school and HS is actually considered "small"...usually only has 300-350 as whole student body for the middle and HS schools each. So, the more opportunities for more choices, extracurriculars may not really hold true in comparsion to rest of other towns.

[46H]

You have a decent public school around the corner from your current residence and you are already paying for this public school with your property taxes. Why would you ever considering an expensive private school an hour/38 miles round trip from your home?

Stick with the neighborhood school where your kids will be a few minutes away and most of their friends will be a few minutes away and you can add hours back into your life.

[mommy2be1053]

Originally Posted by 46H

You have a decent public school around the corner from your current residence and you are already paying for this public school with your property taxes. Why would you ever considering an expensive private school an hour/38 miles round trip from your home?

Stick with the neighborhood school where your kids will be a few minutes away and most of their friends will be a few minutes away and you can add hours back into your life.

That is the logical part of me saying that as well. I'm just not sure how well my oldest will adjust well to the larger class/larger school overall. He's a sensitive kiddo, and the attention from the teacher may get lost to kids who are middle of the road-i.e kids who are in the classroom with IEP/504's to kids who are gifted. its 18 to 1.

[Mattie]

Originally Posted by mommy2be1053

how far was the old school for you to drive before you made the switch to public school? if we switch to our public schools, it doesn't also neccesarily mean bigger. As for instance, its the elementary school (from preK to 3rd grades) that is the largest school out of our whole district. Our middle school and HS is actually considered "small"...usually only has 300-350 as whole student body for the middle and HS schools each. So, the more opportunities for more choices, extracurriculars may not really hold true in comparsion to rest of other towns.

I forget how small schools in NJ are compared to the sizes we encountered when we moved south. In NJ, the private(high) school was 20 miles away or so. It offered busing, so attending classes wasn't an issue, but because my son played sports, and because the student body came from a large geographical area, there was still an awful lot of driving on my part.

When we moved to FL, we put all 3 in private school. The oldest was in high school, and wanted to stay in a private school setting. The other two were in elementary. No busing in either case, so pick up and drop off was 25 miles each way. Forget socializing, it was just too much. They asked, and we agreed, to move them into the local public school. I was nervous about the school size, 1200 for elementary, and over 2000 in the middle school, but they loved it.

[snuffybear]

Making friends in your town, and in sports etc is more important socially, for younger kids.

I'd try the public school as it is FREE (so to speak) and local, and easier. Save your $ for private school when they are older, if you need it. It matters more later. Elementary does not matter in the long run, as long as they are happy and learning. Sounds like the school is fine, so I'd try it. It will really help with sports teams, also, knowing local kids - assuming your boys play team sports.