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Do you REALLY think there are parents who keep their kid back so that their kid will be the first to drive and legally drink in their class?
Besides, you have to be 21 to drink. If your goal really is your kid being the first to be able to go to a bar without a fake ID, you have to keep him or her out of Kindergarten till they're 8. And somebody needs to call DYFS.
Yes and I am dead serious. The broader point is that people (not all, but many) game the system to give their kids academic, athletic and social advantages, and consider both the short and the long game when doing so. Not just "will my kids handle the 'rigor' of K" but also when in HS, not be the loser who is last one to drive, and when in college not be the loser that can't go to the bar with his peers without a fake ID.
When they are five, those kids are still in day care. And that includes the countries with outstanding educational systems, unlike the disaster we have in the US. I think at five, kids would be better off playing and running around with just limited introductory instruction. US system tends to start early and then do nothing by middle school. My son at 5 yrs and 3 mnths was ready for kindergarten but it was still a transition for him. Overall, kindergarten is not bad though I think they should devote more time to playing.
When they are five, those kids are still in day care. And that includes the countries with outstanding educational systems, unlike the disaster we have in the US. I think at five, kids would be better off playing and running around with just limited introductory instruction. US system tends to start early and then do nothing by middle school. My son at 5 yrs and 3 mnths was ready for kindergarten but it was still a transition for him. Overall, kindergarten is not bad though I think they should devote more time to playing.
That's great - but I believe these other countries also do a much better job providing day care to parents to age 6 who need it. But this is the US and our cutoffs are our cutoffs. So I would agree that we need to push cutoffs back across the board while at the same time providing parents with resources to care for kids in a pre-school environment through to age 6. But the US is where it is, and cutoffs should be enforced such that people can't game the system as they are today.
Yes and I am dead serious. The broader point is that people (not all, but many) game the system to give their kids academic, athletic and social advantages, and consider both the short and the long game when doing so. Not just "will my kids handle the 'rigor' of K" but also when in HS, not be the loser who is last one to drive, and when in college not be the loser that can't go to the bar with his peers without a fake ID.
Interesting. I raised a daughter without having ever met such a parent who would consider their child a "loser" because they couldn't go to a bar without a fake ID.
Holding kids back a year is becoming very common especially in affluent towns where daycare costs aren't an issue. When it's done, it's usually late Spring and Summer babies (May to September birthdays) People don't want their kids to be the youngest. I've seen it start skewing things where the kid born in September whose parents didn't hold her back can be up to 18 months younger and can act "babyish"
i am aware of a couple of kids that have been held back but it was because they were behind in their grade.
i do think the idea of trying to push your kid ahead is a terrible one. you dont want to be the youngest and smallest in your class.
you dont want to be the youngest and smallest in your class.
Please specifically explain why you don't want to be the youngest and smallest in your class (this thinking is why someone like you wouldn't push your kids forward, but also would be more likely to redshirt). Someone has to be, right? Why so terrible?
Also, to your other point - I will acknowledge that my example about the drinking first is a bit more far fetched, so I'll restate in more general terms. There are parents out there that will hold their kids back because, in addition to the perceived early academic advantages they want them to be able to do socially popular things first - driving is a real example of that. That is real- and I've heard it.
I am also a parent of a daughter - I shudder when I consider that when she is in 9th grade she will share a school with 19 year old men.
Please specifically explain why you don't want to be the youngest and smallest in your class (this thinking is why someone like you wouldn't push your kids forward, but also would be more likely to redshirt). Someone has to be, right? Why so terrible?
Also, to your other point - I will acknowledge that my example about the drinking first is a bit more far fetched, so I'll restate in more general terms. There are parents out there that will hold their kids back because, in addition to the perceived early academic advantages they want them to be able to do socially popular things first - driving is a real example of that. That is real- and I've heard it.
I am also a parent of a daughter - I shudder when I consider that when she is in 9th grade she will share a school with 19 year old men.
I believe you, I just never heard it discussed by anyone. My daughter had a late August birthday, so she WAS one of the younger ones in her class, still 17 when she graduated (and so was I, an August baby also.)
But in her senior year, she was the one driving everybody to school. It had less to do with how old she was and more to do with the fact that I commuted to the city by bus and didn't need my car, so she used it and picked up her boyfriend and his sister and another person or two who was in the band, which was a 7 a.m. class, and they all went to the bagel store beforehand.
Of course, at 17, she wasn't supposed to be actually driving with that many people in the car...
Please specifically explain why you don't want to be the youngest and smallest in your class (this thinking is why someone like you wouldn't push your kids forward, but also would be more likely to redshirt). Someone has to be, right? Why so terrible?
Also, to your other point - I will acknowledge that my example about the drinking first is a bit more far fetched, so I'll restate in more general terms. There are parents out there that will hold their kids back because, in addition to the perceived early academic advantages they want them to be able to do socially popular things first - driving is a real example of that. That is real- and I've heard it.
I am also a parent of a daughter - I shudder when I consider that when she is in 9th grade she will share a school with 19 year old men.
i believe there are advantages that come with being physically larger and disadvantages that come with being physically smaller. this goes for athletics, being treated differently, being pushed around, less social acceptance/respect. i also believe there is a maturity difference that can affect behavior and school performance. while some or all of those may not be an issue, i see no advantage to pushing a kid ahead before they may be ready. im not going to push my kids forward, i am comfortable with my kid excelling at the standard pace.
i do believe there is a general social advantage to being older/larger/more mature. i know that seems to bother you but i have no problem with parents trying to give their children advantages. there is nothing more important to them than their children (id assume) and so the fact that some people get upset and refer to them as "redshirts" wouldnt matter to them. im not sure why it angers you. if your son is happy, then that is all that should matter to you.
i have two daughters and i worry always. my daughter refers to me as a "worrypants."
i believe there are advantages that come with being physically larger and disadvantages that come with being physically smaller. this goes for athletics, being treated differently, being pushed around, less social acceptance/respect. i also believe there is a maturity difference that can affect behavior and school performance. while some or all of those may not be an issue, i see no advantage to pushing a kid ahead before they may be ready. im not going to push my kids forward, i am comfortable with my kid excelling at the standard pace.
i do believe there is a general social advantage to being older/larger/more mature. i know that seems to bother you but i have no problem with parents trying to give their children advantages. there is nothing more important to them than their children (id assume) and so the fact that some people get upset and refer to them as "redshirts" wouldnt matter to them. im not sure why it angers you. if your son is happy, then that is all that should matter to you.
i have two daughters and i worry always. my daughter refers to me as a "worrypants."
The problem that happens (at least in the school/grade/class my youngest is in) is that the "older kids" who should be in the next grade up are the ones being taught to. The age/grade appropriate children get separated and work with the assistant or enrichment teacher.
Homework is too hard for them, the assigned books that they have to write a book report on can be over-their heads, etc.
I thought my son with his January birthday would be one of the oldest in his class. Turned out he's one of the youngest. His PreK 4 teacher filled me in when I had said to her, "He just turned 5....". She stopped me right there and said, " Yes, he JUST turned 5. The majority of the class started the school year as 5 year olds".
I have no problem with "older children" being held back by their parents, but I do have a problem when the entire curriculum is geared to these older children b/c their parents complain that they are "bored" and the curriculum needs to cater to how "smart" they are. When these kids should be in the next grade up. Teach grade/age appropriate material, no need to have to separate the grade/age appropriate ones from their peers. The kids can & will struggle with their self confidence - in my experience.
6 months - a year in age makes a big difference in development (social/emotional/physical/cognitive) in the early elementary grades.
Last edited by Informed Info; 03-17-2017 at 07:25 PM..
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