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Currently - 8,791,894 people living in NJ. Since you decided not having children, end of the day, we will have
8,791,893 people.
The simultaneous complaints that NJ is too crowded/congested and that it must be an awful place to live because "so many people are leaving the state" are reminiscent of one of Yogi Berra's famous lines. When speaking about a particular restaurant, he said, "Nobody goes there anymore because it's too crowded".
I live with my parents still obviously until I get a career after graduating college. I lived in Morris County in the same house and town my entire life. I do not like the east coast at all in general, but New Jersey particularly. I visited the west coast last year (SF Bay area in April to visit relatives; Seattle in August just for vacation) and I realized how much different the west coast truly is (weather/climate, atmosphere [happiness], people, roads, driving, scenery, etc.). When I graduate college, I really plan on moving to Seattle, Washington or Northern California when I grow up, and I am not planning on having children at all (please don't tell me I'll change my mind, I hate having children). Here are the pros and cons of New Jersey which is my birth and home state.
New Jersey
Pros:
1. Great food choices:
- Ethnic food, but not as many ethnic food places as the west coast.
- We have the best bagels and pizza (based on stereotypes, not from my perspective
2. Diverse (even though diverse it can have a significantly higher white percentage than California or Washington)
3. Gun laws prevent idiots from scaring us
4. Some suburbs are still safe as many people stereotype New Jersey.
5. You're never in the middle of nowhere compared to most states. You have a lot of ammenities out here.
6. Great schools for raising children and colleges (Rutgers, Princeton, etc.)
7. Safest, cleanest, and most fun beaches like Atlantic City and Wildwood.
Cons:
1. I hate the east coast climate. This is my top reason why I would wanna move out of the East Coast forever! I hate the seasons changing too much and I hate the fact that I have to shovel snow and I cannot bare with the humidity in the summer. I'd rather wish to grow up in Florida where I can live in humidity all year round and get acclimated to it,
2. Road system is bad.
- Intersections are horrible and have weird angles.
- Roads have potholes
- You have to take a jughandle just to make a left turn on mainly the state routes. That's ridiculous,
because only New Jersey and one other state has this. This bothers me, because jughandles take up
more space within a small state.
- Highways are complicated and you will accidentally take an exit without realizing it (but this applies
to most of the East coast in my experience).
- We have the smelliest, narrowest, and most dangerous highway in the country called the Garden
State Parkway or the Turnpike.
3. Overdeveloped and crowded. I love nature and the outdoors, but there is barely and scenery here and when you do see scenery, it's not endless like most states. I need a balance of both civilization and nature to feel less stressed out. I am surrounded by concrete and it really feels repetitive and I feel stressed out to drive through this state.
4. Traffic is bad.
5. Too many cops watching roads.
- The cops have no life. All they do is watch for speeders and they don't monitor real crime.
- I visited the Seattle area of Washington and I haven't seen one cop hiding out to catch speeders.
5. Rude drivers
- I have to drive the speed limit or 5 above, because the cops will catch me if I speed. Every driver
tailgates me or they always change lanes and speed so fast and then they go in front of me.
- All drivers here take too long to react to a green light.
- Drivers speed past crosswalks faster faster and every day.
6. Bad drivers
- People speed causing danger.
- Some drivers drive too slow.
7. Neighbors are all weird nowadays.
- When I was little, every kid on my block would play with each other.
- We acted like nice neighbors, but our neighbors just want to take advantage of us.
- I heard New Jersey was a better place 25 years ago, but it was okay when I was a kid back in the
early 2000s.
8. New Jersey people in general are just bad. MY hometown is clean and has barely any potholes, but the people just suck in my town and they are all Guidos and are very clique-y with me. In high school, I never got along with hometown people again! I never kept in touch with people from high school, because of their typical NJ attitudes! No other town in NJ was ever this bad and most people in NJ are nicer than my hometown! Also, I heard that in most states, it's common for people to talk to strangers, but people just keep to themselves out here and even the most extroverted person doesn't talk to anyone! In California, you can go to skate park and easily make friends with outgoing people.
9. Nobody seems established with their lives out here. They're always freaking out about the weather, so they have to rush to do something. But even in general, people always never seem happy or established about their lives.
10. Smells. We are truly the armpit of America.
11. We have the most boring and crime rated cities in the country like Newark and Camden. There is literally nothing fun in any of the New Jersey cities. New Jersey's great for its suburbs.
12. Boring after a while. New Jersey appears to be a fun state, but it gets boring and repetitive after a while and you easily run out of things to do.
13. Ugly. This applies to most of the East coast like the northeast. The trees are all ordinary looking and dark green. West coast rules when it comes to scenery and trees.
14. Small state. Less room to put things.
15. Ghetto NJ Transit train system that constantly derails.
16. Our fat and bad governor.
17. Suburbs all seem urban.
18. Suburbs get more crime nowadays. My town is peaceful and it is not extremely far from Newark, but we only get one crime a year, but now there are more than just one crime a year in my town.
19. Too expensive (Food, property tax, tolls are being raised).
20. No skate parks like what I saw in California.
NOTE: I might also add things later on in case I realize I forget something, but this is pretty much every pro and con that comes off the top of my head!
Meanwhile, in Liberia, someone is walking 5 miles to the nearest potable drinking well.
When people like to claim that those in the Northeast are rude, they never say why. Cultural differences don't count. I don't care whether some stranger who I'll likely never see again in this dense, populous place I'm living says hi to me on a street or on line at the store. I don't see that as being rude, and I don't see them as being rude if they don't even glance at me, let alone don't say hi or smile.
I used to feel the same exact way as you. I didn't care. Now, I do find myself longing for just a little bit more friendliness, even if it is fake. Everyone feels irritable around here. It's like everyone is just teetering on the edge of road rage. People go from 0 to 100. I think it's an expensive, stressful place to live and it shows. Since I've had kids in school, I've noticed that a lot of parents are very "What's in it for me?" in their interactions. If there is something in it for them or their kids, then sure, they'll be friendly. If not, cold shoulder. It gets tiring. (This is about North Jersey. I used to live in South Jersey and people were nicer there believe it or not)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jackal1
I get it. It's really a pretty nice place to live. Expensive yes but it's balanced by better salaries in most cases. Amongst my coworkers I find that the ones in the NY NJ area generally are in much better financial shape then the ones that reside in less expensive states even though we have the same salaries. I think growing up in this area teaches you to be a bit more frugal.
Some people who move and take their job with them in some way can do better in other states. Like let's say you have some sort of a field job (technical sales, pharma rep, something like that) and you move to Florida etc.
I agree with you though, building up a career isn't easier and you don't necessarily do better in less expensive places.
And it taught me two things about why NJ isn't a livable place for me or anyone else who wants to feel free and independent. #1- people here are so disconnected from nature and just literally can't even understand that there are people who just want to stop and smell the roses, or look at sheep in a field. If you're not being productive (which means driving aggressively, acting hurried in all aspects of life, meeting and exceeding your sales goals, and generally being a stressed out douche) NJ doesn't want you and will probably see you as a threat.
This is very on point for a lot of north and central NJ, but disagree that it holds for the state as a whole. Most of South Jersey has a fairly laid back and nature friendly vibe in my opinion, and the counties along the Delaware in the northwestern part of the state (Hunterdon, Sussex, Warren) have a lot more in common with PA than other parts of North Jersey.
I do agree that Jersey people (on average) are very disconnected from nature and have sensory overload from growing up in the most overdeveloped state in the country. If your "normal" is congestion, pollution, and asphalt, you're probably not going to be a big fan of the "great outdoors". I think this is most obvious to people who moved here as adults but grew up in other parts of the country. I previously lived in Massachusetts and New Hampshire before moving down to a very built up part of "Central" NJ a few years ago and was surprised at how big the culture shock was compared to New England.
I am like you and like to "stop and smell the roses" and I had many people where I used to live regard me with similar suspicions when doing things that would be considered normal most anywhere else, like looking at nature scenes on the side of the road. People are definitely more up in your business here and if you're not constantly looking "professional" everywhere you go (even on weekends and in your free time!) you will likely arouse suspicion and rude comments because Jersey people pride themselves on "telling it like it is"
I also feel like outdoor pursuits that are very popular in other parts of the Northeast (backpacking, camping, hiking, XC skiing, snowshoeing, etc.) are almost frowned upon as "low class" in a lot of parts of north and "central" NJ. That always struck me as odd as NJ has a lot of natural beauty and diversity of landscapes despite the stereotypes.
That said, where I live now in the northwestern part of the state is not like that at all. A lot less development and a lot more farms and parks, and the vibe is very similar to that of Eastern PA. Had I moved here originally, I probably would have a completely different view of the state, but the bad experiences in "Central" NJ did color my perception of things. So I definitely understand where you are coming from.
I used to feel the same exact way as you. I didn't care. Now, I do find myself longing for just a little bit more friendliness, even if it is fake. Everyone feels irritable around here. It's like everyone is just teetering on the edge of road rage. People go from 0 to 100. I think it's an expensive, stressful place to live and it shows. Since I've had kids in school, I've noticed that a lot of parents are very "What's in it for me?" in their interactions. If there is something in it for them or their kids, then sure, they'll be friendly. If not, cold shoulder. It gets tiring. (This is about North Jersey. I used to live in South Jersey and people were nicer there believe it or not)
Knowing it is fake, or could be, does nothing for me. They might as well be "rude" to my face. What's the use for fake niceness if you know it is fake or they are just doing it to be nice and not get you offended?
Again, I really think you're being dramatic. Everyone feels irritable around here? People go from 0 to 100? Where? When? How commonly? I mean God, I mind my own business, go about my day like normal, and the only time I see any inkling of aggression or any of this behavior is when I'm on the road. The traffic is stressful and annoying... that's really it. Some people are just a**holes. But people drive like a**holes everywhere. NYC may just be worse than us. Do you people really have common, daily occasions face to face with other people, or simply observing other people, where you see this stuff happen? If so, what county/city/area do you live in? Because I don't see it in mine.
The guy who rang me up at Walgreens the other day had a great sense of humor and was talking to me. RUDE. The lady who rang me up at Whole Foods this week also was super friendly and talkative. What a b*tch. Same with the lady who helped me at the bank today. I was in a bar/restaurant tonight and complete strangers were bonding over the Rangers game. How rude of them. We're regulars and have made friends with one of the waiters because he is a huge Mets fan. SO rude. I just don't see all these instances of aggression and rudeness and instability that so many people like to claim exist.
I think some people, especially if they've lived elsewhere or are from elsewhere, just mistake people minding their own business and going about their lives, not stopping to talk or maybe even smile at strangers, not tending to strike up small talk with strangers, for being rude and impolite, unfriendly. I don't see it that way at all. It's a cultural thing and frankly I think it's rude to insinuate that this way of life and culture, one that extends basically to BosWash in general, is rude. Not understanding it doesn't make it rude. Going elsewhere and seeing how other people are doesn't make it rude. I also find it ironic that people who generalize a whole state as "x" have the nerve to call all THOSE people "x."
Last edited by JerseyGirl415; 04-14-2017 at 06:50 PM..
Even Governor Christie is begging heroin addicts to stay and eliminating jail time because they are major tax payers in this state and being locked up isn't going to help the tax base.
How can heroin addicts be major tax payers if they're doped up and unproductive?
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I just don't see all these instances of aggression and rudeness and instability that so many people like to claim exist. 
