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why are you moving? You seem pretty happy where you are.
My husband and I both hate Brooklyn. I would stay there for some time and move to NJ when kids need to go to school. It is more convenient - my mom is close (even we do not want a lot of help from her); day cares are much cheaper than in NJ; commute is easier. However, my husband does not want to stay there anymore; he does not want help from my mom; He keeps saying we will be fine on our own. This is our family and why we should rely on grandma's help - that's him. I would agree, but still think that it will be really hard for us to manage everything. My hours are long...hopefully I will negotiate it after the #2 is here.
Kids are amazing because they adjust like rubberbands. They make friends and playmates easily. Drive around until you find a full park and mingle with the other moms. Reach out to other moms in online forums in your area. But Brooklyn is only a hop,skip and jump away so you're not moving 100 miles away -- just across bridge. My best friend is in Brooklyn and I'm always in her face (well, I haven't been since the toll raised) but you get the gist.
They can still keep their friends and your mom can still help.
Day care is expensive but with two kids home all day, Uh, I think I'd pull my hair out. We love our kids to death, but you also have to take time for yourself. My daughter is in a stage of throwing everything. Spaghetti, juice, bread, cereal, clothes, shoes, toilet tissue- sometimes I wish for Monday and then when I'm at work, I wish I were at home with her.
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During the week I have little bit of both.
My 23 month old daughter is in daycare 1/2 a day and is with grandma the other half. Both of us work full time.
She was in school all day, but I have yet to find a school that enforces what I want. I wanted her hands washed before and after every meal. I wanted her hands washed each time after she used the bathroom. It's so simple but working in the medical field, it's one of my pet peeves and noone has yet to enforce it.
My daughter stays with a runny nose because of all the germs. She loves the kids at school and she does need the exposure to other kids because she is otherwise very very very clingy.
And if I had the luxury of being able to chose - I still would at least have her in school at least part time. She is a lot of work and while I enjoy bonding with her and spending time with my baby - I'd never get anything done. Nothing.
New Jersey is a large state.. you can choose where to live.. people complain about the cost of living but there are some affordable suburbs.. you can look into Rahway, Roselle Park, Union.. cost of living in those towns are very affordable.. now if you are looking to live in a wealthier town.. then Livingston, Short Hills, Cranford, Westfield.. etc.. all towns have their own childcare businesses..
if you think you cannot afford living in wealthier towns.. then move to more affordable places..
common sense?.. not meant to OP just generalizing..
By the sounds of your job i don't think where you live has anything to do with the Working Mother issues you have. I mean you have your mother in brooklyn but you don't want to keep having to go to her for help.
I don't know what you do for a living but maybe you should look onto a job closer to home with some flexibilty to help you when it comes to your children.
By the sounds of your job i don't think where you live has anything to do with the Working Mother issues you have. I mean you have your mother in brooklyn but you don't want to keep having to go to her for help.
I don't know what you do for a living but maybe you should look onto a job closer to home with some flexibilty to help you when it comes to your children.
I guess I kind of agree with you. The thing is that right now I get on the subway and rarely there is a delay or accident. I know that I will be at home by certain time. Living in NJ and working in NYC, who knows if those busses are reliable (I might be wrong). Plus, still it will take longer to travel.
Well, I would use my mom, but my husband does not want to do it very often. Plus, my mom works full time so it is more like " Mom, can you watch him while I go to a store to buy milk". Over the weekend, we spend as much time as we can with our son to compensate for the whole week.
Hello, everybody..
Yes, we want to buy a house and already started looking. But the problem is that I am not sure that we are doing the right thing.
We all know that NJ is great place to raise kids..great schools, backyard, better life style etc. Well, you are aware of those things and why we are moving there..
But every time I talk to my working mom friends from suburbs, I come home depressed and still thinking if we are doing the right thing moving to NJ.
They all tell me that I will be misarable. I need to mention that I am avoiding to have a nanny. Kids will go to day care. So I will never see them;we (parents) will be always rushing to try to make it on the train / bus so we pick them up on time. The real problem will come when they are in school and we will need to help with homework, activities etc - i am not aware of everything at this point.
We live in Brooklyn now so there are plenty playgrounds where always a lot of kids. In NJ, there are no places like that (tell me if I am wrong). I mean there are playgrounds, but not many kids there. I will need to arrange the play date.
We live in Brooklyn now. My mom lives close. We do not ask her to help with kids, but sometimes we use her. In NJ, we will have nobody.
I will not be staying home mom because of different reasons.
So saying all that, I am still not sure if I am doing the right thing. I know that we will adjust somehow, but I do not want to suffer..
Sorry, but I thought to share this..maybe there are more people in my shoes
Cheers,
do your self a favor and stay in brooklyn, if you're going to move to NJ without understanding that things are very different here, you will be miserable. good luck with whatever choice you make
do your self a favor and stay in brooklyn, if you're going to move to NJ without understanding that things are very different here, you will be miserable. good luck with whatever choice you make
Well, it is not gonna be a favor to anybody. As I mentioned before, I do not like Brooklyn at all. I kind of adjusted, but I hate the place.
I want to move to better place and right now doing research on that place; looking at all possible scenarios; calling day cares. I am not moving to unknown place about which I have no idea. NONONO.
That's why I am here on this forum as well asking questions (even if they are wierd - sorry for that). I do try to understand all +s and -s of moving.
Well, it is not gonna be a favor to anybody. As I mentioned before, I do not like Brooklyn at all. I kind of adjusted, but I hate the place.
I want to move to better place and right now doing research on that place; looking at all possible scenarios; calling day cares. I am not moving to unknown place about which I have no idea. NONONO.
That's why I am here on this forum as well asking questions (even if they are wierd - sorry for that). I do try to understand all +s and -s of moving.
ok, but your post sounds like you are dreading the move from brooklyn. NJ is great as long as you don't expect it to be Brooklyn
My wife went back to work 6 weeks after each of our kids were born. They went through nannies and day care and before and after-school care. Both are healthy, well-adjusted, respectful, smart kids who are both in good colleges. It wasn't easy, but with the help of friends and understanding bosses, we managed to raise two pretty fantastic kids. Good luck with whatever you decide.
My wife went back to work 6 weeks after each of our kids were born. They went through nannies and day care and before and after-school care. Both are healthy, well-adjusted, respectful, smart kids who are both in good colleges. It wasn't easy, but with the help of friends and understanding bosses, we managed to raise two pretty fantastic kids. Good luck with whatever you decide.
That's what I am hoping for. The first son has been in day care since 3.5 month. He is healthy, happy boy now. Hope this scenario will work with the second one as well. My husband and I both have good jobs and both like to work hard. So far bosses are quite understandable. Hope that will continue to be the case..
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and then when I'm at work, I wish I were at home with her. 
