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Hi there. I hail from Washington state but we are considering a move to New Jersey, where my father's family is from. My husband is a teacher and I have found with researching that they pay their teachers really well in the state. My concern is friendliness - from what I have heard, NJ is not home to very nice people. WA is home to the passive aggressive kind of unfriendliness, and I really want to live somewhere where people say hi to each other on the sidewalk (and not look away). Does anybody know of any pockets of Jersey where people are nice? Anywhere? Or should I just move to Georgia or something? Thanks!
Do you also want to be an hour from 'the city', want a diverse neighborhood and diverse schools?
there are nice pockets in NJ. All the nice pockets have been decimated by crime and are populated with defensive people trying to stay alive. No one goes out at night and if that isn't enough, deer/car collisions are on the rise. Very few black bear attacks but we did have one fatal.
As we are about to become a sanctuary state, you can take comfort that Nj will soon become a nice place. People seeking sanctuary will be gathering and pot will soon be legalized so it will be one big party.
People will soon be saying, Oh Wow!, instead of 'how are you?'
the roads are a meeting place of sorts where people couldn't be nicer. yield signs will soon be removed because the right of way drivers feel compassion for those entering the roadway and alway slam on the brakes to allow those nice people to merge.
If you aren't nice, you can plead down in municipal court to a lesser charge.
The N in New Jersey stand for NICE. Speaking of ice, if you don't clear your walkway withing 24hrs of a snowfall, you will be fined....but it's a nice fine.
Yikes, I really didn't mean to cause strife, I thought I was asking a pretty basic question. I've been to New Jersey many times, and my experience has always been fine. My aunt is the one who tells me that people aren't super friendly there because it often does have that vibe of NY - fast and people don't really take the time to ask about others. I really meant no offense to NJ.
And Jackal1, my husband and I are smart - I have an engineering degree and he has his Master's in teaching. We aren't ignorant, we are just trying to clarify the general impression that the state is not friendly. Which IS the general impression of what I have read online. Which is why I was trying to educate myself and ask the question - are there areas of New Jersey where people ARE nice to their neighbors, smile, etc? You shouldn't take offense to that - it is a cultural question. Here in the PNW, people often don't make eye contact because we tend to be super passive aggressive. It's just a cultural thing.
Thank you to the people that answered my question, your responses are super helpful and I really appreciate it!
This is my first time posting and no, I am not a troll. I just felt compelled to throw in my 2 cents. I grew up in Michigan and Arkansas and traveled extensively throughout the South; however, I have lived in NJ the over 50% of my life at this point. I feel that the majority of NJ natives are blunt and to the point. They will tell you if you have something on your face -- not pretend it's not there. They are real. They are rushed, stressed, and trying to make a good living and provide for their children. I think this can be misinterpreted as being unfriendly, but what I have found is that the good majority of them are friendly when they are able to stop and take a breath. They will not smile at you and talk behind your back. They will tell you like it is. Unfortunately, due to this fast-paced life, they do not have the luxury to just sit and "chew the fat".
Thank you Toski1! I am not a troll either, and really was surprised by the reaction I got from the post I made. I thought a troll was someone who throws out insults and then disappears? Not sure, as I've actually never posted on a forum. But I feel bad if my question offended anybody. Just trying to clarify the general impression online that NJ is not considered friendly (I found several articles that talked about the least friendly states in the USA and NJ was always in the top 5). I actually really appreciate it when people are blunt (not rude, which is something entirely different), I hate it when I have something on my face and nobody says anything! So thank you for clarifying this perception of the state for me, I appreciate it.
It sounds like it might be a little more fast-paced of a culture that I am looking for. I was just tempted by it because of my family that live there and the high education standards. But it might be a better fit if I find something similar in one of the southern states. I prefer not to live the fast-paced life
Yikes, I really didn't mean to cause strife, I thought I was asking a pretty basic question. I've been to New Jersey many times, and my experience has always been fine. My aunt is the one who tells me that people aren't super friendly there because it often does have that vibe of NY - fast and people don't really take the time to ask about others. I really meant no offense to NJ.
And Jackal1, my husband and I are smart - I have an engineering degree and he has his Master's in teaching. We aren't ignorant, we are just trying to clarify the general impression that the state is not friendly. Which IS the general impression of what I have read online. Which is why I was trying to educate myself and ask the question - are there areas of New Jersey where people ARE nice to their neighbors, smile, etc? You shouldn't take offense to that - it is a cultural question. Here in the PNW, people often don't make eye contact because we tend to be super passive aggressive. It's just a cultural thing.
Thank you to the people that answered my question, your responses are super helpful and I really appreciate it!
Ok so I’ll amend my position. You may not be ignorant but your original post certainly was. Reread it and if you can’t agree then you certainly are ignorant.
Cultural thing? Do you seriously think an entire state could be filled with people who are culturally not nice to there neighbors?
Where's your aunt from? And have you considered that maybe she goes around looking down on entire states and is thus treated accordingly?
It's been my experience that people respond in kind to how they are treated, so come into a forum with a "hey, I hear you guys aren't nice" and you're going to get some of that right back. Come into a forum with "which towns have a nice small neighborhood feel?" and you're going to get different answers because it's a different question.
Jackal1 - my post was a question to help understand what I have read about online. So yes, I would say I am ignorant about the people of New Jersey - which was why I posted the question! The state does not have a good reputation in this area, so I wanted to know if there were certain areas where the people are nicer, as opposed to others. I'm sorry that you got offended by the question, it certainly was not meant to be an insult to anybody. It was a response to what I have read about NJ online - not to anybody that I have met, because I have not lived there.
And no, I don't seriously think that an entire state could be filled with not-nice people, which was why I was wondering if there are areas where people are nicer. There are countless articles on the friendliest towns in the USA, but NJ does not feature any cities on the list. Thus my question ....
And, sorry to do this, but it's "their" not "there."
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