Are there friendly towns/cities in New Jersey (Woodbridge: fit in, weddings)

[Mightyqueen801]

Originally Posted by Jackal1

I think we scared Katerose away. Oh bless her heart.

One less person on line ahead of me at CVS.

[bookspage]

Originally Posted by Gerania

It really doesn't take much. Thank you is a good start.

It's a joke, relax

[Gerania]

Originally Posted by bookspage

It's a joke, relax

I'm relaxed.

[Jackal1]

Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801

One less person on line ahead of me at CVS.

Excellent point.

[CanonGrace]

I've lived in all three places you mention. We lived in Seattle, then Atlanta and now NJ.

Seattle was great. One big difference in Seattle (we lived on the Eastside) is a complete lack of tribes! The entire time we lived there (5 years) I never knew the religion or ethnic background of any of my friends. I really loved that. I found people were friendly---but reserved. I never quite knew what people were thinking which was disconcerting. I also found it to be a place where the women I was friends wanted to have fun without doing heavy thinking. We loved it though.

Altanta was different. A bit higher stress. People could be really two faced. We lived in a liberal enclave but even so I was surprised by two things: 1) The fact that my brunette hair made me a bit of an outlier! (for real--I was considered "ethnic") and 2) People could be HS-like clickey. It was a more artificial environment and a bit more keep up with the Jones on very superficial levels. Even so, we loved the weather, made great friends and you cannot beat the cost of living. The other consideration for Atlanta is that the schools are TERRIBLE. Ultimately that is why we came back to NJ.

NJ may have been home, but it was by far the hardest adjustment. Everything was expensive. I could have been choking outside the elementary school and people would have just stepped over me and kept going. I felt like a telemarketer trying to make friends for my kids. It was a rough 2 years......

......and then, the most amazing thing happened. I started understanding how to live here. I have been here a long time now and we love it.

First of all, people here are DIRECT. They will tell you exactly what they think about you, or anything else. However, if you challenge them, they can just as quickly see your point. They are much more substance over form than I realized.

The other thing here is that ethnic identity is a huge thing. You have your Italian towns, your Jewish/Asian/High performing towns, your Catholic towns, your WASP towns...... Of course there is diversity everywhere but one group does seem to dominate depending on where you live. Pay attention to that.

The schools are FABULOUS. Public education in NJ is fantastic. You cannot beat having access to the police....or special education. People here may complain about these things but that's because they've never lived elsewhere. Our services in NJ are incredible.

Access to NYC means access to all sorts of interesting, intelligent and accomplished people. I find that while my elbows are a little sharper than when I got here, I am more able to live my life authentically without having to put on superficial airs. People are nice here if they get to know you, but once they know you, they are your friends for life.

So that's the skinny. Good luck with your decision.

[moshywilly]

People stereotype New Jersey as having rude people (which is wrong) and you're one of those people that do that, but I don't blame someone coming from the Pacific Northwest. To me, in New Jersey, you can actually find the nicest people out here, however there are bad neighborhoods out here, but they are mainly on the state's northeastern part (closer to New York City) and the Southwestern part (closer to Philadelphia). To me, all of New Jersey's cities are terrible and rude (Newark, Jersey City, Camden, Trenton, etc.), but the "suburbs" (most) are the complete opposite. New Jersey's cities are very crime rated, but in suburban New Jersey life, I barely ever hear of crime out here. South Jersey in general is stereotypes as more rural and having nicer people. I do not know about particular towns in South Jersey that are friendly. I live in North Jersey. So I would say friendly towns would be anything west of Essex County and west of southern Passaic county. Northern Passaic county is totally different than its southern part. Morris County and counties westward here in North Jersey are friendly. However, the town I live in is a guido town and loaded with snobby Italians, but my town is decent in terms of ammenities and stores and facilities. What a shame that people in my town are mean for a great town.

And wow you moved from Washington state to New Jersey! That's the opposite of me. I want to move out of New Jersey when I graduate college and move to Washington state or wherever I land a job out west. I want a better climate and better scenery and other things. I am a sophomore in college right now and I don't like the east coast. I am seeking internships out west to help benefit my future (in terms of networking) of getting a career out west.

[moshywilly]

Originally Posted by NJ Brazen_3133

Dont listen to these other posters. They are perfect examples of the kinds of people you will run into. In your face, blunt, way too serious.

I grew up in Northern NJ, and it is either snobby rich entitled kids, racist, insular and introverted people. Sure there are nice people scattered about, but they are hard to find, and are outnumbered by the people I describe.

Now I hear south NJ is much different. More laid back, and friendlier. It must be the Pennsylvania influence, or the Baltimore, being closer to the south.

I think people in New Jersey can be nice, but after working in retail as a teen (18 and 19 years old), you can see all the rude ones (and learn how many rude ones there are) that you won't see as a regular person off the job. I live in a decent suburb that is not crowded and not populated that much and it has every store and everything you need all in one town, but it is a shame that my town is snobby even the minorities are snobby and my town is mainly Italian. I wish I grew up in South Jersey where it's the opposite of the North Jersey.

[bookspage]

Originally Posted by CanonGrace

I've lived in all three places you mention. We lived in Seattle, then Atlanta and now NJ.

Seattle was great. One big difference in Seattle (we lived on the Eastside) is a complete lack of tribes! The entire time we lived there (5 years) I never knew the religion or ethnic background of any of my friends. I really loved that. I found people were friendly---but reserved. I never quite knew what people were thinking which was disconcerting. I also found it to be a place where the women I was friends wanted to have fun without doing heavy thinking. We loved it though.

Altanta was different. A bit higher stress. People could be really two faced. We lived in a liberal enclave but even so I was surprised by two things: 1) The fact that my brunette hair made me a bit of an outlier! (for real--I was considered "ethnic") and 2) People could be HS-like clickey. It was a more artificial environment and a bit more keep up with the Jones on very superficial levels. Even so, we loved the weather, made great friends and you cannot beat the cost of living. The other consideration for Atlanta is that the schools are TERRIBLE. Ultimately that is why we came back to NJ.

NJ may have been home, but it was by far the hardest adjustment. Everything was expensive. I could have been choking outside the elementary school and people would have just stepped over me and kept going. I felt like a telemarketer trying to make friends for my kids. It was a rough 2 years......

......and then, the most amazing thing happened. I started understanding how to live here. I have been here a long time now and we love it.

First of all, people here are DIRECT. They will tell you exactly what they think about you, or anything else. However, if you challenge them, they can just as quickly see your point. They are much more substance over form than I realized.

The other thing here is that ethnic identity is a huge thing. You have your Italian towns, your Jewish/Asian/High performing towns, your Catholic towns, your WASP towns...... Of course there is diversity everywhere but one group does seem to dominate depending on where you live. Pay attention to that.

The schools are FABULOUS. Public education in NJ is fantastic. You cannot beat having access to the police....or special education. People here may complain about these things but that's because they've never lived elsewhere. Our services in NJ are incredible.

Access to NYC means access to all sorts of interesting, intelligent and accomplished people. I find that while my elbows are a little sharper than when I got here, I am more able to live my life authentically without having to put on superficial airs. People are nice here if they get to know you, but once they know you, they are your friends for life.

So that's the skinny. Good luck with your decision.

This is a great post

I agree about people being direct. People are also being direct when they don't speak to you as well...they're not interested, period lol

One question...where are the WASPy towns? I've lived all over NJ and seriously never knew of one

[MoBosch]

Originally Posted by katesroses

Hi there. I hail from Washington state but we are considering a move to New Jersey, where my father's family is from. My husband is a teacher and I have found with researching that they pay their teachers really well in the state. My concern is friendliness - from what I have heard, NJ is not home to very nice people. WA is home to the passive aggressive kind of unfriendliness, and I really want to live somewhere where people say hi to each other on the sidewalk (and not look away). Does anybody know of any pockets of Jersey where people are nice? Anywhere? Or should I just move to Georgia or something? Thanks!

Try Hillsborough, in Somerset County - lots of rural beauty but surrounded by stores, train, highway. People say hello and chat at stores,our neighbors all know each other, it is very friendly. I thought the same thing when I moved to NJ but found out that it is the exact opposite --I find it surprisingly friendly - much more so than New York or New England where I lived previously.

Oh and north jersey, especially Bergen County is really different, more like NY. I can only speak about the greater Princeton area being friendly, and specifically Hillsborough.

[swilliamsny]

Look at the fun I missed while we were travelling in Arizona. Man, those AZ people are so unfriendly! Oh, wait... that was my husband's family. Well, they suck anyway. Went to a football game and hubby's cousin grabbed all the gift bags for himself. Pissed me off. Now I'm back in NJ taking out my anger on everyone else. LOL.