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Old 04-21-2018, 07:12 PM
 
264 posts, read 606,069 times
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Not an NJ question, apologies. In this day of 'immersive parenting', do parents have to be friends for kids to be close friends in middle/high school? Is it a factor at all, as kids get older? I feel like a fish out of water sometimes because I don't have close friends in town - No one is unfriendly however - it is probably due to different backgrounds and interests and I am comfortable for myself, but I find myself worrying for my kids. Any experiences/advice? Thanks.
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Old 04-21-2018, 07:54 PM
 
2,509 posts, read 2,496,198 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by amazin09 View Post
Not an NJ question, apologies. In this day of 'immersive parenting', do parents have to be friends for kids to be close friends in middle/high school? Is it a factor at all, as kids get older? I feel like a fish out of water sometimes because I don't have close friends in town - No one is unfriendly however - it is probably due to different backgrounds and interests and I am comfortable for myself, but I find myself worrying for my kids. Any experiences/advice? Thanks.
Nope. Not a factor at all like it is in elementary school.

It's wonderful
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Old 04-21-2018, 08:54 PM
 
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What we found was that it was benefical to be friendly with our childs' friends parents, comfortable enough to call and chat about plans, parties etc.

I don't think you need to be friends with the parents of your kids friends but being friendly enough to exchange info, call about the kids plans etc.

We raised our kid in a very diverse neighbourhood and found the one common interest with other families was the kids' activities, this transcended any cultural differences.

We remain friends with some of the parents long after the kids parted ways.
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Old 04-23-2018, 10:32 AM
 
1,883 posts, read 2,827,161 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by amazin09 View Post
Not an NJ question, apologies. In this day of 'immersive parenting', do parents have to be friends for kids to be close friends in middle/high school? Is it a factor at all, as kids get older? I feel like a fish out of water sometimes because I don't have close friends in town - No one is unfriendly however - it is probably due to different backgrounds and interests and I am comfortable for myself, but I find myself worrying for my kids. Any experiences/advice? Thanks.
definitely not, we attend my kids friend's birthday parties, usually just a "hi" and "bye", my daughter has a best friend, and we are not that close to her parents. We talk when we see each other, but not like buddies.

Don't force yourself to be friends with people showing zero interest of becoming your friend.
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Old 04-23-2018, 12:42 PM
 
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wrong forum.
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Old 04-24-2018, 08:15 AM
 
Location: River Edge, NJ
69 posts, read 93,814 times
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I don't think you necessarily need to be friends with your the kids families but it certainly can help. When I grew up my parents were friends with many of my friends' families and it worked out great. Kids can hang out and parents have some adult time. My daughter is 6 and we have made friends with a few families on the block. Not saying we go out together on weekends but its nice to have a pleasant conversation when the kids are playing. I am sure in time you will make adult friends where the kids can be friendly as well. Don't push it and don't worry if it doesn't happen over night. I have also found getting involved in town ie softball and bowling with other adults in town was helpful in meeting new people. That way I share a common interest with them.
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Old 04-24-2018, 11:09 AM
 
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I agree that it is helpful to be friendly with your kids' friends. You will probably not become close friends with most of them but it definitely helps if you can have a friendly chat with them. You need to be able to know when to bring/drop off kids and need to be aware of any dietary restrictions.

My son is now in the first grade and we can finally drop him off for a play date and then pick him up. Before we really had to stay and watch him so we really could only set up playdates with friends/acquaintances...
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Old 04-24-2018, 03:10 PM
 
Location: Levittown
968 posts, read 1,141,003 times
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I'm sure it helps, but I know my parents didn't like a lot of my friends' parents, mainly because they were all from dysfunctional families, that is if the parents weren't drug addicts or alcoholics. I was the only one among my circle of friends growing up who didn't come from a broken home. Most of the offspring of my parents' friends who were my own age thought they were too cool for me.
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