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I'm in the opposite situation. I moved away from my parents out of state when I graduated college and accepted a job in NJ. That was 25 years ago and they still ask me when I'm moving back
dear Lord. where to begin? give your parents a break! new jersey is one of the the WORST states to live in, and even worse to retire! my kids have two years left before they graduate high school and my hope is that we vacate then, instead of waiting for them to graduate college, decide on careers, family, etc.
our plan is to live half the year in florida and the other half overseas (like, in another COUNTRY). they can visit whenever they like and we will visit them too. but one thing we cannot do is continue to pay such outrageous taxes to live here while there is so much more available to us (cleaner, more beautiful environment, lower taxes, warmer climate) elsewhere.
i don't know how old you are, but my single mom needed to move for a better job a year before i finished college. i was living at home and commuting to NYC every day and she was so upset because she didn't want me to have to find another place to live. but i told her it was no big deal, she needed to do what she had to do because i would be on my own in another year, anyway. i was a grown up about it ...at the age of 21. this may seem harsh, but wow. it's time to deal with whatever is really irking you. good luck.
It's tough being far from family, but that is life. I understand your vacations are valuable to you, but maybe you can compromise and take a trip out to South Dakota every other year? Or you could try to meet somewhere in-between like Chicago? They won't be around forever and you may regret being stubborn about this. You might be able to create great memories for your kids traveling out there.
We were extremely close to our grandparents and never lived close to them. We probably saw them two times a year. We remained close by regular phone calls and my parents telling stories about them, so we understood who they were as people. I don't remember our family taking any vacation that did not involve visiting family. It's just what we did.
In this day and age; with video calls, texting, facebook, instagram, etc, I imagine it is much easier to stay close, despite not being physically near each other.
Ideally it is better for family to remain close. It is silly they moved so far away. It’s not like SD is better living ....and the potential memories and experiences made with grandkids and family are priceless. They could’ve just as easily bought cheap in Pennsylvania or upstate NY Why do they even want to stay in SD??
We were extremely close to our grandparents and never lived close to them. We probably saw them two times a year. We remained close by regular phone calls and my parents telling stories about them, so we understood who they were as people. I don't remember our family taking any vacation that did not involve visiting family. It's just what we did.
In this day and age; with video calls, texting, facebook, instagram, etc, I imagine it is much easier to stay close, despite not being physically near each other.
We made due with phone calls, photographs, and the USPS. We visited when we could. I feel very thankful that my son knew, and remembers, his grandparents.
I only had the privilege of knowing one, and she died when I was eight years old.
My in-laws spent six months a year in Florida. They attended one kid's birthday but was always in Florida for the other kids' birthdays.
Then it was "why don't you come to Florida?" First, airfare during school breaks is expensive. Second, when winter and spring breaks came, we were exhausted from school, the kids had vacation homework and projects or someone was fighting off a cold.
Your parents generation is different from previous generations who just weren't mobile:
"The "Me" generation in the United States is a term referring to the baby boomers generation and the self-involved qualities associate with it. The 1970s were dubbed the "Me decade" by writer Tom Wolfe;[2] Christopher Lasch was another writer who commented on the rise of a culture of narcissism among the younger generation of that era. The phrase caught on with the general public, at a time when "self-realization" and "self-fulfillment" were becoming cultural aspirations to which young people supposedly ascribed higher importance than social responsibility.
or how about his parents realize they messed up when they decided to move to the middle of nowhere in SD when they couldve easily moved to cheap penn or upstate ny?
I have learned to live my life without my mom and dad. They uprooted many years ago. I live in New Jersey, and they moved to South Dakota.
My parents decided to make this move roughly ten years ago. My kids were so young that my heart broke. It shattered in to 1000 pieces. Yes, because I knew that I would miss them, but more because I knew that my two AWESOME kids would grow up not knowing the bond of child to grandparent.
Growing up for me was wonderful. I had both sets of grandparaents. Four loving grandparents who showed children the true meaning behind silver hair with a golden heart. The love, admiration, and adore that I had for them is undefinable. I miss each of them everyday and find myself WISHING that my two kids had what I did.
I am bitter that my parents chose not to be grandparents, but I am conflicted at the same time. Am I acting selfish? Because there is a side to me that says "Hey, they raised you. They know you are happy. They know you are in good hands with your husband and will be an awesome mom. But now it is time for them to live the life that they want."
A part of me will always harbor resentment toward them for making such a move though. I mean, they moved to an area with no direct aiport! It is a small aiport that is so expensive to fly in to. So now, if I go there, I have to fly in to a major aiport and drive three hours to their home. In addition to that fact? NO DIRECT FLIGHT TO SOUTH DAKOTA! NONE! So now, I have to have a lay-over in Denver! I get one vacation per year,, and as sad as it is to say (write), my vacations are just that "MINE!" There is so much of this world that I want to see. Of course I want to see my mom and my dad, but I want to see crystal clear blue seas, white sands, palm tress, and drink exotic cocktails. When I make these plans (and I do), I get the "Oh it must be nice." "Oh you can go there but not come and see us." I dread telling them abou my vacations, because I am handed the famous guilt trip.
My take on that? You moved away from me. You are retired. You can come and visit ANYTIME and stay AS LONG AS YOU WANT, but you NEVER visit. You NEVER have money to do so, but I should visit you on my one vacation per year? Do I sound spoiled?????
I think someone needs a "Snickers"!
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