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I think one thing you might notice is that in the last 2 years the demographics moving into certain towns have shifted a bit. Pre-pandemic people definitely went to the towns that fit whatever mold they were looking for, but now it's become more of a "take what you can find" mindset. My area (tenafly-demarest corridor)has definitely seen more folks from brooklyn, for example, moving in, whereas it was basically all UWS transplants for years before that.
Also this is ancient history but remember, eg, Ridgewood didn't even allow Jews until 50 years ago.
That's not quite true. Temple Israel was formed in 1952, and there was a Jewish men's club in Ridgewood in the 1940s. There were not many Jews, but there were some in town before that.
That's not quite true. Temple Israel was formed in 1952, and there was a Jewish men's club in Ridgewood in the 1940s. There were not many Jews, but there were some in town before that.
Interesting! Thanks. I think restrictive covenants were in place at some point up until the 50s, right? Anyway, having grown up around here I always thought of Ridgewood as a non-Jewish town that some of my Jewish friends happened to live in, as opposed to Paramus or many of the towns in eastern Bergen, if that makes any sense.
Interesting! Thanks. I think restrictive covenants were in place at some point up until the 50s, right? Anyway, having grown up around here I always thought of Ridgewood as a non-Jewish town that some of my Jewish friends happened to live in, as opposed to Paramus or many of the towns in eastern Bergen, if that makes any sense.
Yes, I always knew there were Jewish people in Ridgewood, but Fair Lawn was the "Jewish town". I had a best friend in Fair Lawn and I married a man from there, and they were part of the Irish/Italian/Polish, etc. Catholic minority. We went to a lot of interfaith weddings.
Another change was that a long-time congregation in Paterson built a temple in Franklin Lakes in the 1980s, and many Jewish people moved into Wyckoff and Franklin Lakes, as they changed from old semi-farm towns to upscale suburbs that before had barely any Jewish presence at all. I can remember being a kid in Midland Park and we noticed that a new store had been opened called "Grandma's Bagels". We asked my father, "what do they sell there? What are bagels?" He said it was a type of bread shaped like a donut. The store closed a month later. That was probably late 60s. Now there's a really good bagel shop in that town that has a line out the door on weekend mornings.
Now it's just a shrug to know your neighbors are Jewish, but there was a time when Jews would not have been welcome in many of those NW Bergen towns. Sometimes things do get better.
Yes, I always knew there were Jewish people in Ridgewood, but Fair Lawn was the "Jewish town". I had a best friend in Fair Lawn and I married a man from there, and they were part of the Irish/Italian/Polish, etc. Catholic minority. We went to a lot of interfaith weddings.
Another change was that a long-time congregation in Paterson built a temple in Franklin Lakes in the 1980s, and many Jewish people moved into Wyckoff and Franklin Lakes, as they changed from old semi-farm towns to upscale suburbs that before had barely any Jewish presence at all. I can remember being a kid in Midland Park and we noticed that a new store had been opened called "Grandma's Bagels". We asked my father, "what do they sell there? What are bagels?" He said it was a type of bread shaped like a donut. The store closed a month later. That was probably late 60s. Now there's a really good bagel shop in that town that has a line out the door on weekend mornings.
Now it's just a shrug to know your neighbors are Jewish, but there was a time when Jews would not have been welcome in many of those NW Bergen towns. Sometimes things do get better.
Sorry I didn't mean to offend anyone or imply that there aren't welcoming, educated, wonderful people in either community. I think MightyQueen nailed it - I just want somewhere where I can find some common ground and yes reading the New Yorker does provide some tidbits of information about your interests. Not to say if you don't read it, that it's a bad thing. Just want to end up somewhere where people are friendly, open-minded, and the way to fit in doesn't involve a private golf club/or being in the PTA (since I work full-time).
It does not matter which town you choose. They are both excellent. You will randomly luck out with good or bad neighbors or some combination of good and bad neighbors.
Quote:
Originally Posted by broadcity2864
And seeing other communities (even ones that aren't my own) included or embraced, speaks volumes about whether they would choose to embrace or at least acknowledge Jewish traditions. In NYC, non-jewish friends would attend hanukkah parties/seders and we would then go to their xmas parties - it was a lovely dynamic that I'm just hoping to replicate in our new home.
You might want to dial back your expectations. It will be very difficult for you to have this experience based on your age, price range, and towns. You are looking to move into areas of mostly established families (or even empty nesters) that are revolving around kids and other families with kids. These families are in the next phase of life and they are not going to have much time for new friends. Additionally, many people stay in the NYC metro suburbs because they grew up here and their parents, siblings, aunts/uncles/cousins are still in the area. These family members are who your neighbors will be celebrating holidays with.
Until you move on to the kid phase of life, the opportunities to establish good friendships are far and few between, especially with both of you working. Good luck with your hunt.
It does not matter which town you choose. They are both excellent. You will randomly luck out with good or bad neighbors or some combination of good and bad neighbors.
You might want to dial back your expectations. It will be very difficult for you to have this experience based on your age, price range, and towns. You are looking to move into areas of mostly established families (or even empty nesters) that are revolving around kids and other families with kids. These families are in the next phase of life and they are not going to have much time for new friends. Additionally, many people stay in the NYC metro suburbs because they grew up here and their parents, siblings, aunts/uncles/cousins are still in the area. These family members are who your neighbors will be celebrating holidays with.
Until you move on to the kid phase of life, the opportunities to establish good friendships are far and few between, especially with both of you working. Good luck with your hunt.
You can’t really say that. People don’t generally shut out making new friends regardless of what stage of life they’re in. Either they make a connection with new people they meet or they don’t. You don’t know how social OP is. Maybe he/she is better at making friends than most. Also, the effort ones put into meeting new people and inviting their new neighbors to things counts too.
It does not matter which town you choose. They are both excellent. You will randomly luck out with good or bad neighbors or some combination of good and bad neighbors.
You might want to dial back your expectations. It will be very difficult for you to have this experience based on your age, price range, and towns. You are looking to move into areas of mostly established families (or even empty nesters) that are revolving around kids and other families with kids. These families are in the next phase of life and they are not going to have much time for new friends. Additionally, many people stay in the NYC metro suburbs because they grew up here and their parents, siblings, aunts/uncles/cousins are still in the area. These family members are who your neighbors will be celebrating holidays with.
Until you move on to the kid phase of life, the opportunities to establish good friendships are far and few between, especially with both of you working. Good luck with your hunt.
Agree with this.
You can not control who your neighbors are. They may be in a completely different stag of life or they may be a bunch of non English speaking households who only associate with families from their own country.
Its just the luck of the draw.
Keep your expectations in check.
Should also consider Berkeley Heights/ New Prov if you are considering Madison/Morristown
These have better access to trains, 1 hourish commute.
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