Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
My son is starting kindergarten next year and I am interested in elementary schools in Northern NJ that are sensitive to the issue discussed in the book, "The Trouble with Boys" by Peg Tyre.
Does anyone know of any elementary schools (public or private) that would be a good choice for a boy who has difficulty paying attention and thrives on movement (he is not aggressive, just active and wants to play, play, play and make friends.) He is currently in a Montessori school but I notice that even there, the patient, attentive children who have longer attention spans are favored. I want him to like school and I fully believe he will grow into a more focused child in time (he's just not ready.)
How old is your son? Do you think he'd benefit from a "transition year" rather than going directly to K?
I have not dealt with this issue myself but I certainly have heard of others going through it. I'm sending you a DM with some info I have, it's not the best, but it's something.
I am an early childhood teacher and I see that most boys have these characteristics. I think most boys learn with hands on experiences. I think the best thing to do is put him in some type of after school activity that will help him release some of that energy.
Raven - if I may yours (and I believe we have others in Early Childhood Ed out there) your opinion...
Do you think it was always this way? It just seems like it is a recent phenomenon. I wonder if it is that there is too much pressure put on all kids at a young age today. Perhaps some do not have any problems, perhaps they are just not really being given age appropriate work?
I had my kids in one private school that really stressed academics. Not a bad thing - you think. But it was absurd. The work they wanted a first grader to do was really more on par with work a 4th grader would be doing. I showed it to several friends who are educators and they agreed. So I looked for another school and now they are in an environment that stresses academics, but in a more age appropriate way and taking the WHOLE child, not just intellectual development, into account.
I really didn't realize what a challenge this would be. Note to all the parents looking for TOP 25 schools... there is SO much more to look at than the #'s.
Raven - if I may yours (and I believe we have others in Early Childhood Ed out there) your opinion...
Do you think it was always this way? It just seems like it is a recent phenomenon. I wonder if it is that there is too much pressure put on all kids at a young age today. Perhaps some do not have any problems, perhaps they are just not really being given age appropriate work?
I teacher 4 year olds and I feel that every year the boys are getting more aggressive and the girls are getting too mature and sexual for their age. I really believe that a lot of it has to do with all the media the are exposed to, their environment, and the parents. I don't think all the media will make them violent, but I have read studies and believe that it does interfere with the ability to focus on other things that don't involve a control and a screen. I think children are disconnected from nature.
It may be hard to believe, but I get four year olds that don't know how to handle at a book(they put it upside down), hold a pencil or crayon, never seen a scissor, never played with play dough, can't do an easy puzzle, or know how to put on a coat. They can, however, tell you every character in a cartoon or video game, sing you the latest Britney spears or hip hop song, and know just about ever curse word out there.
It's actually very sad. Then on top of that, you have the parents on one side that expect you to teach them everything and the state on the other telling you that you might not have a job if you can't teach these kids.
It's no better in suburb schools either, because I have a couple of friends there and they tell me the same thing plus that fact that parents are always up their ass thinking they know better than the teacher.
It's really a big mess and I don't think there is just one solution because every child is different. If they go to an intense academic school then they will act out because it's too difficult, yet if the school doesn't focus on it enough they will be bored and act out as well.
I just think parents have to work with their kids at home as much as they can and really limit all the media that is around them. Schools need to figure out a curriculum that is age approriate enough without overwhelming them.
That's my opinion on this subject.
There is a great book about getting kids in touch with nature called Last Child in the Woods: Saving Our Children From Nature-Deficit Disorder
Wow, you hit a lot topics and I agree w/ you overall. What town do you teach in, if you don't mind me asking?
I am pretty involved with the Campaign for a Commercial Free Childhood (About the Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood Home (http://www.commercialfreechildhood.org/aboutus.htm - broken link))
This is a great organization and it really has a lot to do with keeping kids kids. One thing that it touches on frequently is the sexualization of childhood - especially w/ girls. You are so right! I was disturbed going to a 4 yr olds party the other day and the theme was HS Musical. At FOUR? You should be into freaking CLIFFORD at 4. This organization really does some good work, recently got BRATZ books removed from Schoolastic book fairs & in school advertising. But I don't want to hijack this post...
It's true that most teachers will give more positive attention to the focused child because they are "easier" to teach. The extremely active child that does not stay focused requires a great deal more time and energy from the teacher. No one wants the child to fall behind, but the lack of focus can mean missing out on a lot of what is being taught.
As a Special Ed teacher I am well aware of the issues children that require additional attention have in a regular classroom. It is hard to slow everyone else down to manage kids that can't stay on task. If you are one of the parents of a kid that does stay on task you may resent the teacher being "pulled" away to re-teach what the child has missed. As a teacher I have seen learning completely stop while a teacher tries to get a child to sit still so he doesn't distract others (notice I didn't say so he can focus on the work - sad but true).
If your child is in a Montessori school he may already have the academic skills required. I hope someone can suggest the type of school you are looking for. If not then let him continue into a regular Kindergarten program. If he does not gain the focus he can either redo the year or you may ask the school for interventions to see what might help. Just continue to advocate for your child. It's rare that kids will decide they don't like school at such an early age. My third graders asked me if I could open school on Wednesday and Thursday this week because they didn't want the days off...I couldn't believe it.
Wow, you hit a lot topics and I agree w/ you overall. What town do you teach in, if you don't mind me asking?
I am pretty involved with the Campaign for a Commercial Free Childhood (About the Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood Home (http://www.commercialfreechildhood.org/aboutus.htm - broken link))
This is a great organization and it really has a lot to do with keeping kids kids. One thing that it touches on frequently is the sexualization of childhood - especially w/ girls. You are so right! I was disturbed going to a 4 yr olds party the other day and the theme was HS Musical. At FOUR? You should be into freaking CLIFFORD at 4. This organization really does some good work, recently got BRATZ books removed from Schoolastic book fairs & in school advertising. But I don't want to hijack this post...
I teach in the Jersey City public schools. A lot of those kids are really ROUGH to say the least, even at 4, and have already seen a lot. I have a parent who is high school dropout, 19yrs. old with a 4yr. old and another on the way.. isn't that lovely? I know it's mean to say but sometimes I feel that garbage is breeding garbage and I can't imagine what the next generation is going to be like.
Yes, I'm definitely convinced kids are getting way too sexualized. When we are dancing at school, a couple of the girls like to shake their booty and hips very suggestively and I tell them that's not the way we dance in school. Then they roll their eyes at me. Then during their center time they are singing these crazy hip hop lyrics that I have to tell them to stop. Then I have a couple of boys who think they are power rangers all day and think school is for wrestling. I don't keep any character or cartoon books in the class and whenever they try to tell me about some horrible cartoon like Spider man I tell them I don't like it or that it's silly. Then it usually doesn't get brought up again because I never show interest in any character.
Thanks very much to all who responded. Some of this is probably perception on my part. So many children in his Montessori classroom are already reading books and it is a challenge for me to not get caught up in comparing/worry. I know logically that is ridiculous and work hard at refocusing myself. My son is in preschool (he's 4 1/2) and he knows so much more than kids were expected to know by the end of kindergarten, but it is all relative. He is interested in how words are spelled, knows his sight words and has known the sounds all the letters make for quite a while. He can also count very well, do puzzles and is starting to write...but when other kids his age are reading entire books....well, you get it! His interest is just not there yet. He is a lot more focused on being social, he LOVES his friends and using his imagination...but my wise mind tells me that is healthy....!
I agree that they are exposed to too much too soon. So many boys his age are into Star-Wars so my son is too. But I think they are way too young for SW. He has seen parts of the first movie but that's it. His friends have seen all the movies. It's crazy - they are very violent! I just want him to be a kid and enjoy the simple things for as long as possible, I wish it wasn't such a struggle.
Last edited by mindfulone; 10-18-2008 at 06:57 AM..
There is a great book about getting kids in touch with nature called Last Child in the Woods: Saving Our Children From Nature-Deficit Disorder[/quote]
Thank you! I've been trying to remember the title to that book for a couple of weeks!
We have always tried very hard to get our boys outdoors, playing in the dirt, hiking, playing make believe. But they have watched way too much television (usually just Noggin, but occasionally stuff that I feel is too old for them, like parts of Star Wars). They have older cousins, so they know all about Power Rangers, etc, even if they haven't watched them. I feel like I've failed when all they want to be for halloween are Power Rangers I wish so much I could put that genie back in the bottle, and never let them have watched television at all! (or as much) Or at least only very innocent things like Blue's Clues!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I wish so much I could put that genie back in the bottle, and never let them have watched television at all! (or as much) Or at least only very innocent things like Blue's Clues!
