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I'm sorry JG183, but I am now COMPELLED to respond ...I take it you were never married and never had any kids so I feel the need to enlighten you, as I have both a child and have been divorced for a few years. Here are some facts about divorce:
1) There is rarely such a thing as alimony anymore, ask my lawyer he'll tell you. I don't get any, never did.
2) As far as my ex being taken to the cleaners, as you claim happens with every divorced man in the country...his family contributed nothing, my parents contributed everything, and I always worked, usually earning about the same money except for when my son got kicked out of daycare because of his attention deficit and I couldn't. AND instead of leaving with what he came with (i.e., the clothes on his back) he insisted that I buy him out of the house even though he left when I had a PER DIEM job and a mortgage two of us were paying....I didn't even have a guaranteed income or benefits. I offered to let him out of several years of child support in lieu of, but he refused, so my father had to borrow the money for me against the equity in his house in order to pay him off because I couldn't afford it with my PER DIEM job...and there wasn't a position available at my job when he left...he left with no debt and $60K in his hand plus all his income to himself, after I helped him change careers.
3) Per the divorce agreement, he is supposed to be providing medical benefits...however, he hasn't had a job in...well, May will be three years, so I'M doing it...he remarried, and now for the second time since he left, I am the only adult working out of the three of us involved in this situation....hmmmmmmm...interesting, I've been at my job for almost 10 years and I work my a** off, lazy woman that I am! Meanwhile, he hasn't worked at an actual job in the last three years...
4) I take care of my own house with the help of my father...You mentioned painting specifically...I painted the entire interior of this house myself, before we moved in back in 2000 and now that he's gone, I am in the process of repainting it for the second time...I paid someone to help me, but the majority was done by me. I did the living room, also refinishing the fireplace and the dining room, and will be doing the back bedroom and other rooms when it gets a little warmer in a few weeks, and I painted every square inch of the trim myself FOR THE SECOND TIME. I also shovel my own sidewalk, rake the leaves, trim all the bushes to keep them neat, pay all the taxes and bills myself.
AND...5) I NEVER said it was all his fault..I wasn't an angel or easy to get along with either, but it was just being around him that caused me to turn into someone I wasn't, someone I didn't even like, because I was that unhappy...and one day I woke up and said, thank God he did me the favor of leaving because I tried to keep it together for my son but it wasn't healthy for me, and I didn't even recognize myself anymore, in the mirror and otherwise...it was definitely half and half as far as fault..but before you go around saying we always blame the man and we always are the ones to make out in divorces, come meet a few of my divorced female friends...what they've been through with the various jerks/deadbeats they were married to will make your hair stand on end...
Btw, my ex and I get along just fabulously, now that we're not together. We have our rare moments when we've disagreed and gotten into it, for example over important issues such as my son's right to have medical benefits and be taken care of propely when he's sick, but I have NEVER given him a hard time because I am bigger than that...for my son's sake.
And btw, in the end, it was the best for all involved, but I would still never wish it on anyone...you have no idea what I've gone through...
Put that in your pipe and smoke it!!!
P.S. I am not interested in a man's wallet,..I own my house now free and clear and my car, have a good job, a military pension and I do get some child support, I don't need a meal ticket, I need an equal thank you very much!!! I'm not a golddigger, but for God's sake I don't want to carry anyone else either...I need an EQUAL. But that seems to be a sheer impossibility these days...
Ongreatnurse - I tried to rep you but couldn't...
I'm sorry you went through that and you turned out just fine ALL ON YOUR OWN!!
Ongreatnurse - I tried to rep you but couldn't...
I'm sorry you went through that and you turned out just fine ALL ON YOUR OWN!!
Thank you for your support! But actually, I can't take much of the credit, I credit the majority of my success in life to my parents, who have always been there to help with EVERYTHING. I am fortunate to have them in my lives. However, I will say this...I still would have done it even without their help cuz that's just the kind of gal I am!! How's the job btw?
Thank you for your support! But actually, I can't take much of the credit, I credit the majority of my success in life to my parents, who have always been there to help with EVERYTHING. I am fortunate to have them in my lives. However, I will say this...I still would have done it even without their help cuz that's just the kind of gal I am!! How's the job btw?
Went to orientation last Wednesday and start tonight. I'll let you know how it goes. Right now, I'm just happy to have a job.
It's funny, right now it's 6:31 am and I'll be just about getting home this time tomorrow. Going to try and get a nap today during the day. Hello, Benadryl....
Sussex County women are hicks... so if you like 4 wheelin' & going to craft fairs, you're in
I agree with your posts, most NJ women are golddiggers, the rich girls are the worst, their daddies spoil them so that gives them a warped view of expectation. Don't even get me started on the wannabe hood rats, I can't stand the way the hood rats talk and their attempts to sound "hard", I live in Bloomfield so there are a lot of those in my area.
Give me a "hick" anyday, country women are more laid back and they don't buy into that Sex In The City bull that the city chicks fall for. I swear, whoever made up that garbage TV show deserves to be shot.
Ok, obviously you missed mine...and I never watched it I HATE the show even without having seen it! lol...Sorry, we don't all go for that delusional crap..
Ok, obviously you missed mine...and I never watched it I HATE the show even without having seen it! lol...Sorry, we don't all go for that delusional crap..
Yeah, I hate that Bridezillas show too - lol!
I'm glad to have dodged all the female Drama crap...lol!
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...I take it you were never married and never had any kids so I feel the need to enlighten you, as I have both a child and have been divorced for a few years. Here are some facts about divorce: 
I'm not as bad as you make it sound.
