Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I want to leave NJ as many do for just about the same reasons- cost of living too high, too many Jones', some area of NJ just make me sick to see all the filth. I know there has to be a better place out there to raise kids in. We would be giving up what I believe is some of the best education and family interaction with Aunts, Uncles, Grandparents... What I would gain was more freedom to travel with my kids and make memories. I feel schools are sometimes what you make of them and test scores are not everything. But not sure if I am willing to bet on this at my kids expense. I know this is a common issue for many its just easier to give advice than take it.
We could stay and struggle through the years until things get better-- no more day care, spouse works more full time. Its just hard living without any extra income to have adventures with. You know there are only so many years that you could see the gleam in a child's eyes when they visit Disney or see a dolphin show, but on a NJ budget that hard to do. Its hard to say no to many things that my kids friends do on a regular basis, even a night out at the movie equals a week of food from Shop Rite. And yes we do rent movies, ALOT! So is the grass greener outside of NJ?
Look - you are going to get all kinds of answers. And it really is a matter of opinion and what you value the most. I totally hear you on the high cost of living in NJ and the immediate surrounding areas, but I have to say this, my friends who live in other states are not exactly living much easier. Cost of living is lower, so are salaries.... you know the story. And as Mom who has been TRYING to make the Disney trip for years (we've done other trips, but I think Disney is ABSURDLY overpriced...I opt for Hershey instead.....) I do understand. But my 2 cents (and only mine) is that there are lots of ways to see wonder in your children's eyes that do NOT involve spending $75 per person to see Cinderella's castle. I also firmly believe that having Aunt Sue, Grandma and Grandpa and scads of cousins around - all in all - will end up being more beneficial to a child than a few more expensive vacations. But that again, is just what works for me and my family.
My FIL is dying now, and I'm so glad my children have had the chance to really have him in their life. Not just phone calls and an occassional holiday visit. I think that the trips we've taken WITH him to Cape May, Newport, Mystic, and Hershey Park and the day trips to NYC, Hoboken, Spring Lake and the like will really mean more to them in the long run.
But everyones situation is different.... I wouldn't thumb your nose too quick at education levels though. I don't think you need "the best" but I wouldn't settle for mediocrity either.
I want to leave NJ as many do for just about the same reasons- cost of living too high, too many Jones', some area of NJ just make me sick to see all the filth. I know there has to be a better place out there to raise kids in. We would be giving up what I believe is some of the best education and family interaction with Aunts, Uncles, Grandparents... What I would gain was more freedom to travel with my kids and make memories. I feel schools are sometimes what you make of them and test scores are not everything. But not sure if I am willing to bet on this at my kids expense. I know this is a common issue for many its just easier to give advice than take it.
We could stay and struggle through the years until things get better-- no more day care, spouse works more full time. Its just hard living without any extra income to have adventures with. You know there are only so many years that you could see the gleam in a child's eyes when they visit Disney or see a dolphin show, but on a NJ budget that hard to do. Its hard to say no to many things that my kids friends do on a regular basis, even a night out at the movie equals a week of food from Shop Rite. And yes we do rent movies, ALOT! So is the grass greener outside of NJ?
I think that people in New Jersey are actually better off in times like these. New Jersey is one of the more wealthier states in the nation. So we're actually better off, despite the high cost of living here. How many trailer parks have you seen in New Jersey? Very little, I think I've only seen one or two and they were both almost at the PA border. You see more people like that out of state. Those are people who have very low paying jobs and those people are the ones who are struggling. Because NJ is so expensive you don't see many families where the Dad works in a factory, the mom works at burger king, and the kids all have minimum wage jobs working at supermarks. Each and every one of them is pulling their own weight for the family. The only people that you really see like that in New Jersey are immigrants. Immigrant life is hard, my mother is an immigrant. I don't know what you're immigration status is, but these are tough times for everyone, not just immigrants and the working class.
Since you're from jersey, you're already better off than most of the nation. I'd say the Northeast is the region that's probably the best off right now. I wouldn't go as far as to move out of state. You just need to do a simple adjustment in life, everyone does. I am going to be on my own very soon, I will be a college student, I'm going to have to live in some cheap apartment off campus and I'm already working a minimum wage job after school, just so I have barely enough to start out. People these days just need to think and spend smarter and how you wish to do that is up to you.
I have my own way, but I highly doubt you would do the same things I do. Here's some tips: I use this thing, it's called the Dollar Menu, it's at McDonald's. I can get a double cheeseburger for just $1. Also, you can buy those huge cans of Arizona Iced Tea for $1 at Shop Rite. That's pretty much the only thing I drink. I also get free water from these things called water fountains, it's pretty awesome. (Forgive my tone, I just think it's funny how people don't think of these things. haha )
By no means am I insulting you, at least I don't intend to. It's jsut a good thing to think over with your family. Discuss with them about what you can do to overcome the rough times that, really, the entire world is facing right now. We are fortunate to be in one of the better off areas, in the entire world, really. Wel, I hope you have good luck in your situation. Best of luck to you.
How many trailer parks have you seen in New Jersey? Very little, I think I've only seen one or two and they were both almost at the PA border.
There are tons of trailer parks in NJ, not just near the PA border either. I don't think there are any where you live in Mendham, but there is one in Long Valley.
Okay, I'll chime in here. My family moved from NJ to OK just a little over a year ago. As far as the grass being greener? Someone once said the grass is greener on the other side of the fence because it rains more there.
The pros of living in OK as opposed to NJ:
1. Very low cost of living.
2. Low property taxes
3. Reasonable home prices (no bubble here, so prices remained steady)
4. Wide open spaces
5. Slower pace of life
6. OK City was rated as the #1 city for employment. We have the lowest unemployment rate in the nation.
7. Friendliest, most helpful people I've ever met
8. Went to the movies last weeekend, on a Saturday night, to see a movie released that weekend, and it was $22.00 for the four of us.
9. The sun shines over 300 days a year.
The cons of living on OK as opposed to NJ:
1. Still have some family in NJ, but many have re-located to other states.
2. Salaries are lower, (between both myself and DH, we took an approximate 25% cut). On the other hand, our mortgage payment, including taxes and insurance is 1/2 of what it was in NJ.
3. Since our taxes are low, there are services that are not provided. For example, if you want to re-cycle, you haul it to the re-cyle center. If you have a large item to trash (applicance, etc.), you either do it yourself or wait until the once a year large trash pickup. The roads are badly in need of repair.
4. Not everyone adjusts to a new culture. DH, myself and my 17 year old daughter are very happy here. My 19 year old son is not, and is planning on going back to NJ when he finishes the trade school he's in.
5. We will be dealing with tornado season very soon. It lasts about 2 months, but there are excellent warning systems in place, and we will have a new storm shelter in our garage by then.
6. Food and clothing are taxed. However, once a year there is a tax-free weekend on clothing -- right around back to school time. There is also a bill in front of the legistature right now to eliminate the tax on food and have the State reimburse the townships for the loss of revenue.
That's the things I can come up with off the top of my head. Leaving NJ for one reason (high COL) is probably not the best thing to do. Even though that may increase your quality of life, if you miss too many things from your home state, that extra money in your pocket isn't going to make up for it.
Good luck with what you decide. We're very happy with our decision, but moving to a new state is not for everyone.
It's funny because I've had friends move from NJ to states ranging from Upstate NY, PA, RI, SC, NC, GA, FL, AZ, CA and CO.
Some have loved it, others have hated it. Some moved back, others don't even visit.
Thanks EEEPNJ, that was my point exactly. Moving for one reason and one reason only is fraught with disappointment. However, if you have the adventure spirit, can adapt easily to other ways of life, and don't spend your time critizing your new state to the locals, then moving may be the best thing for you.
Everyone deserves to be happy and live where they feel most comfortable, and where they feel like they "fit."
And like Wiley Said.... you can stay in NJ w/ adjustments. We have. Trust me, DH out of work for a year we adjusted. You can make due....
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
)
