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i looked at hazlet thinking i may be able to get more for my money there than holmdel. i dont know anything about hazlet but i get the feeling its considered not as nice as holmdel. quality of schools isnt a big deal for me. dont have any kids yet. plus i figure if its a lower quality school my kid would have an easy time being a top student in the school.
Hazlet is not as nice as Holmdel. Holmdel is a beautiful town and very pricey. Hazlet is a nice town in it's own right, but not quite on Holmdel's level. It's also much more reasonable in terms of price. Based on your price range, you can probably find something in Holmdel but nothing great. For 550 you could probably get a very nice home in Hazlet.
Commute to the east side of Manhattan from NJ sucks, just FYI. You're looking at 1.5 hours door-to-door, which can be a huge drain on your life, whether you're a younger couple looking to socialize and especially if you're got kids. I know you said you're willing to go up to 1.5 hours each way, just be sure you really think about what that will mean, especially if you're a city-dweller who has never done it before.
You should at least consider Westchest County, as you'll come into Grand Central on the MetroNorth rail system and be much better situated for a commute to an East-side job.
(For the record, I have a crappy commute from NJ and I hate it; we have children but I can't imagine how hellish it would be if both my wife and I had this commute.)
Best place to start is NJ Transit's website. They have a map you can check out to see all of the many towns on the train line. To keep the one-way door-to-door within 1.5 hours each way, you'll want to focus on towns within 45 minutes by train to Penn Station.
Lots of options once you're willing to suck it up and deal with the commute (and the property taxes): Millburn, Maplewood, South Orange, Summit, Westfield, Cranford, Metuchen, River Edge, plus a whole bunch of towns up north that I'm less familar with.
You should probably take your time and plan on visiting one each weekend to really get a feel for it. Ideally, when you think you've found a town you like, try staying in a nearby hotel just to be sure you know what the commute will be like; things can seem different when you're taking a train to a new place on a Saturday afternoon joyride in June versus how they look on a Monday morning or coming home from a long day at work on a weeknight.
Other than that, the best advice I can give you is pay attention to the property taxes (NJ is in a fiscal crisis, and they're only going to go up) and if you can wait a year or two (while you're getting to know the area) because values will probably fall another 20-25% around here before we're through with the housing collapse.
If you look on the other side of rte 35, Bethany Rd, the area called Raritan Valley, Holmdel is on one side of the street, Hazlet, on the other. Its close to train, some homes are within walking distance, also close to 35's shopping area.
I came from Boro Park in Brooklyn. We stayed as long as possible but eventually felt "pushed out"
It appears most of the Big Yapple escapees seem to go towards that part of NJ, but in my personal tastes and opinion check out places like White Meadow Lake in Rockaway Twsp and other areas nearby. It depends on your preferences. You have lakes and mountains yet are close to NYC buses and trains but further from the shore beaches. I would also say it depends whether you are more at home being on soil or sand too,
Have you looked in Fair Lawn? The schools are good, there are 2 train stops to Secaucus and Hoboken. It took my husband 1 hour and 20 minutes from the Radburn station to Wall St. area.
Fair Lawn is near all the shopping you can dream of. We lived there for 17 years and liked it. We relocated out of state and are sorry we did.
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