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Two years ago I took a auto trip down the east coast...from NJ down to Ft lauderdale Fl. I drove the coastal roads all the way down, did ferry hoping where I could. I had no schedule or reservations all the way down.Not sure but I do'nt think I was on I-95 the whole way .Took me 3 weeks...I drove a little bit and got a room, explored got dinner. Got up next morning repeat. A couple of places I stayed over a full additional day just to really check it out. The point is I saw a LOT of the eastern coast line and even though I'm from NJ I'm not shy about saying that NJ has all but ruined what should be a great beach experience. True Avolon and Stone Harbor IMHO are nice enough, and I used to rent a place in Stone harbor when kids were little. But aside from those oasis I don't go near the NJ shore. Too many obnoxious people, traffic is a non stop horror, everything is over priced and tacky. Except for that family run ice cream shop in Stone Harbor...locals line up with the weekenders around the block for a cone every night. Yeah it's that good.
The outter banks...no board walks...no hoards of rift raft looking for trouble or making vulgar suggestive remarks to your younger teenage girls.. At times you can walk down to the water line, look left and right, (north&south) and see almost NO ONE besides yourself...that NEVER happens at the NJ shore.. Even nicer IMO is Georgia....I know its a 13 to 14 hr drive down I-95 but I would do it in a heart beat rather than torrment myself at the NJ shore. Georgia apparently many years ago figured out that if you want to keep the coast line from looking like the jersey shore you can't allow building on the ocean side of the coastal roads. There are exceptions to that of course as some stuff got grandfathered in but in general in you're standing on the beach and you face inland the ONLY thing you see are the sand dunes. No motels, no ferris wheels, no neon lights, you hear NO music, you hear the surf and the birds. Jekle Island is a treasure of a place that would embarrase ANY nj shore town.
I would rather make the drive to Jekle Island,even for a few days,than put up with the crap you're forced to deal with at most of the jersey shore communities.
I have to be honest...the only time I've been to the hamptons has been from offshore (sail boat) as I've gone around montauck point.. (I assume you mean the Hamptons on LI NY , not Hampton Virginia. .....Loaded ?? If only.... from your lips to HIS ears... No......where I worked almost closed up and laid almost everybody off. So I'm in the process of picking out a re location spot...I've actually made the trip I described , with some alterations to exclude some spots, and thus a slightly shorter time ,three times now... ( my mother is by herself in Florida so I do a couple of "Honey Do" trips per year.
I've got very specific things I'm looking for....longer summer type season, warmer than NJ but Not the mid summer scorch of southern Fl., deep water access and a "protected' harbor area for sailboat, my kids are grown so I no care about schools etc. etc etc
BTW...I didn't spend a fortune doing those trips. 25 mpg, I don't do fast food,( a cpl of days of that and you'll feel like crap),except for salids which are pretty good bargin nowadays, but i don't dine fancy either. My requirements for lodging are clean, and I preferr internet access so I can do email and find out about where i'll be tommorrow...(laptop CPU & GPS a must)..but over all i don't need fancy..a decent motel 6 works for me when it's just a over night thing..
I've had a real ball doin these things...I would highly recomend this type thing even if you've only got a week. Go to Virginia beach...work your way down the outter banks, do a cpl of ferries,check maps you'll see what I mean, then get over onto I-95 and dash back up north here. Even a week is great fun...and don't plan it to death..that's where part of the fun comes fun !!
Another thought ...I can't speak from experience but I would guess that kids would like an "adventure' like this as well....lets face it after 3 gays of getting up and walking to the beach it's sort of the same old... this is a different stretch of beach everyday, new room,,,,show them where you are and where you're going on map etc...
I agree...it's very nice..but it's a beach park ...no town etc.... it's a public park..
I've done the 4WD beach buggy permit thing and done some surf fishing there as well. A lot of fun, no doubt about it... IMHO it's The nicest stretch of undeveloped beach to be found in NJ...I've driven the beach all the way down to the inlet. I've done it with family and multi SUV friends things...always had a great time.
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I will tell you an observation though that I still find hard to believe even though it's happened a number of times. I'm not a real fishing bug .... lucky if I go more the twice a year, runs in spurts, I've been by myself and as I said with others so we've had parties of 2 to 4 4WD SUVs driven down near the waters edge, surf rods in sand spikes ,find a stretch of beach where we're by ourselves. I'd say 50% of the time by midmorning some idiot mom with a couple of kids will show up and decide that the remote stretch of beach where me and buddies are hanging out and fishing is EXACTLY where she needs to let her kids out. Of course they feel compelled to "play" directly between the surf rods and the water so the fishing lines are running directly over their heads !! I understand that the kids might not be thinking but dosen't mom know that Very sharp hooks are at the ends of our lines ?? What the He$$ are these parents thinking ??? And the really best part is , if you approach them and explain the reality of the situation they get PO'd and ask if you would mind moving or ask are you going to be much longer ??r...even though you've been there since predawn !!
I vacation yearly in Cape May and love it. I've also been to Duck in the Outer Banks of NC. While I'm not completely knowing of all the beaches in NJ, you asked about Cape May and I might be able to make a comparison for you.
The outer banks of NC are, as you say, secluded... quiet... isolated.
Depending upon WHEN you go to Cape May, you can experience the same. In-season, you will have a lot more tourists than at other times. HOWEVER... Cape May is generally a retirement town and the people who flock there are either older, retirees or families with small children. There's not an abundance of teens, (i.e, noise) and if there are, they tend to want to go up to the Wildwood area. (Which is actually comprised of three areas: North Wildwood (party town), Wildwood proper (where the boardwalk is - less party) and Wildwood Crest (family area) all of which have huge beaches!)
There are beaches all along Cape May which wrap from Cape May down and around to Cape May Point then to the Delaware Bay. Sections of them are quite secluded. The sand is not the same as the outer banks, but the sand is actually different depending upon whether you're in Wildwood Crest, (fine) Cape May (not as fine) or Sunset Beach... (quite rough - but that's where you find the Cape May Diamonds!)
The water warms up toward the end of June (July & August being the warmest) and as far as surf... I'm not sure if you're talking about the sound or the surfability of it? Anyway... the sound is great in all the area and I've seen surfers on the south end of the Cape May beaches, so there's got to be something there!
Also, Cape May is considered one of the premier birding areas, so there are lots of protected areas for the migration patterns.
I do know that if you move further north up the coast (as they have said in other posts... Avalon and such) there can be more exclusivity and therefore more isolated and quiet beaches... I just don't know where one would stay in those areas. But... you were asking about Cape May and that's what I'm responding to.
Cape May is a resort town, but a much MUCH nicer town than Ocean City, MD. (No comparison, really.) It's an historical landmark and the oldest oceanside resort town in the U.S. It is different than MD/NC beaches but that's the good thing about it. And, it is within traveling distance of many different flavours of beach towns all along it's coast.
NJ beaches (and most of Jersey itself) are not dirty as most of the country thinks they are. California seems to have more closing of beaches due to "spills" and flotsam and jetsam than NJ ever had. Afterall, it's not called the Garden State for nothin'! )
If you are looking for peace and quiet in Jersey.... try Brigantine. It's a family town, no boardwalk... pay beaches... very quiet... upscale homes. Nothing commercialized, just a relaxing vacation.
I've only been there once, spent a week last August and didn't see one greenhead! I completely forgot about them... but evidentally they are at their worse in June and by August are gone. But my understanding is that they can be found all up and down the coast, not just Brigantine.
I've only been there once, spent a week last August and didn't see one greenhead! I completely forgot about them... but evidentally they are at their worse in June and by August are gone. But my understanding is that they can be found all up and down the coast, not just Brigantine.
ok, i'll bite. what's a greenhead? my only knowledge of brigantine is the castle that was once there.
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No......where I worked almost closed up and laid almost everybody off. So I'm in the process of picking out a re location spot...I've actually made the trip I described , with some alterations to exclude some spots, and thus a slightly shorter time ,three times now... ( my mother is by herself in Florida so I do a couple of "Honey Do" trips per year. 
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