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Wow, don't get so upset about this. Like someone else said, maybe you're inviting the wrong people. If people aren't showing up, then don't bother with it. Maybe they're not coffee drinkers. Or maybe they just don't care to show up. If so it's wrong for them to say they're coming. What did Einstein say the definition of insanity is? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result?
You say New Mexicans aren't known for their German precision? That could explain why my well doesn't work, the house wasn't built right, the county roads here aren't maintained, and that many folks here don't take pride in their work....so why would they bother to show up anywhere on time? Being a transplant from up north I just don't understand all this....
I think you just hit on why the locals might not be showing up... it's the "everything was better where I came from" attitude that makes them have second thoughts...
Either that, or New Mexicans have something in common with the Japanese... "yes" really means "no."
I haven't noticed the kinds of thing you're experiencing, usually because I'm the last one to show up for anything... and I'm an East Coast transplant.
But I will say that a lot of the native New Mexican families I've come to know have an open door policy and always welcome you whenever you show up (even unexpectedly) and offer you instant coffee and maybe whatever is on the stove. To me that's what real hospitality is about.
You say New Mexicans aren't known for their German precision? That could explain why my well doesn't work, the house wasn't built right, the county roads here aren't maintained, and that many folks here don't take pride in their work....so why would they bother to show up anywhere on time? Being a transplant from up north I just don't understand all this....
Maybe they have overheard you say these things about them, and don't want to be friends. I'd have to really think hard about going for coffee with someone who made comments like that.
Moved here from MN and WA. I don't understand why, when I invite a local for coffee, they show up an hour late without calling or don't show up at all. I end up throwing out freshing made, good coffee, and wondering why I bothered to bake that nice coffee cake. And, when visiting locals, they offer nothing even to drink. This type of behavior is completely alien to me. Enlighten me.
Betcha is you invited them over to share a twelve-pack, they'd be early!
You say New Mexicans aren't known for their German precision? That could explain why my well doesn't work, the house wasn't built right, the county roads here aren't maintained, and that many folks here don't take pride in their work....so why would they bother to show up anywhere on time? Being a transplant from up north I just don't understand all this....
Perhaps you never associated the lower cost of living here with "you get what you pay for"?
Perhaps it's also that your missed appointments were busy working late, fixing wells, houses, and/or roads, and had more important things to do than meet someone for coffee.
My business runs on appointments. Out of every 5 clients:
1 arrives slightly early or 'on-time' -10 minutes to either side of the appointment time-
3 arrive 10 to 20 minutes late
1 arrives 20 to 45 minutes late.
While I have gotten used to the fact that people, in general, have no consideration for another's time, what really gets me is that I am virtually never given any kind of apology or explanation.
If you are one of the people that routinely runs late, consider this, clients who are early, on-time, or apologetic when they are late (yeah, right), get preferential treatment and even discounts just because I am so grateful. Yes, I reward clients for doing what they are supposed to be doing anyway.
I don't think it has anything to do with "locals". My BIL who lives in Illinois is late for everything. I think most people who are consistantly late are either flighty like my middle daughter who is so disorganized it's pathetic. Or they feel that they are more important than you are. Most of the other people that I know that are late all the time fit the latter. It has to do with respect. Many today just don't respect others. This is a big pet peeve of mine. I try to arrive everywhere early. One solution is to invite them to come earlier so that they can be there on time. This problem is common everywhere, not just NM.
I'm a zealot about being on time or early for appointments and other commitments. And have had to work hard to not let late folks irritate me. [Take a deep breath through nose, breathe out through mouth, and repeat as needed as you think: "Don't let someone else's actions ruin your day or p... you off needlessly."]
It's not just appointments. In my technical profession the number of folks that call in late to teleconferences or show up tardy to important meetings is mind boggling. When I'm running such calls or meetings we start on time and those arriving late just have to catch up.
Phawk's exactly right - most of such latecomers think their time is more important than yours. It's all about a lack of respect and absence of good manners. Something my folks taught me, as much by their actions as words. But unfortunately way too much of an acronism in today's modern society and business practices.
And how long do you usually have to wait to see a doctor or dentist after showing up on time or early for your appointment?
Maybe we should all get together for coffee to discuss this.
I would show up but you live to far away. I like coffee and talk myself.
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