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I'm sorry I'm a downer, I'll admit my flaws openly. I've spent 8 years going on 9 here in a crappy suburb satellite of Ann Arbor for several reasons that make sense- but I've been going on such a downward spiral I need to get out of this place for my (and my family's) mental health before I break. I lived my first 22 years in nyc area. I was VERY happy there, I fit in like a glove. My whole family is from the area originally, it's in my blood. My goal is to move to brooklyn ny- as soon as possible. Problem is, I just had a baby (who's wonderful!) and my fiance (from mich) works in a super specialized field in ann arbor and thinks it's the greatest place on earth, because he knows nothing else. He's a software developer/engineer that's had the same job for 10 years. He wants/prefers to be the one to get a job. He's tried google, and got an interview, but didn't make it in. (who does?) and then got deflated. We spend every vacation in brooklyn, which we enjoy together so much. If I don't get out of this place, I'm seriously going to kill myself. I don't even know if I can handle another 7 month long gray depressing Michigan winter. It's a shame. I spent some of my best years of my life SITTING here in a nowhere town filled with seniors because I found a decent job and a wonderful man. I know I'm lucky to have that, but it's a cooking job (which I never wanted to do) and the man is transportable, no? Problem is, there is nothing for ME here- nothing to GROW into. (him either, nor my son) HELP. How do I help him find a job in NY? I MUST go home. I miss my home, my friends, family, the culture- everything. I told him if he dosen't find one by March (he says he wants to move too) I will get us there by whatever means possible. (I am a mere cook.) He's been "looking" for a year, and has promised me- but in all actuality has spent almost no time on this. I am unwilling to leave the love of my life, and I'm unwilling to be miserable in this (sorry)P *^&*hole. He makes near a hundred grand here and is afraid to let it go... please help. I seriously am very, very depressed here. I've tried so hard, I swear! Any words of advice? I'm usually a very happy, active person and I'm unrecognizable to myself, and YES it IS the PLACE not me. I want to be my happy, positive, creative self again to offer the best to my family, who I love so much.
Last edited by Theficklefox; 11-10-2010 at 09:26 PM..
Reason: missed something.
I'm not sure if this is the type of information you want but I'm in the IT field in New York and I've been looking for employment in the city lately and it hasn't been easy. New York City doesn't have major software companies and outside of Google and some others, most of them relate to banking and finance. Also, you have to realize since so many people want to live here, for every position, you probably have 10-20 applicants while in other areas, there may be only a few. Anyway, if your fiance doesn't already know, I would suggest he look on Indeed.com. Also, don't be afraid to apply to any job he finds interesting and as many as possible. More often than not, a recruiter will be the one screening them and since your fiance makes a good salary now, they will be eager to help him get a new position so they can make a good commission.
Wow! I can totally relate but I live in NYC. It is not that easy to grow here either. I have been trapped in the same job for too long and I truly hate it.
Your situation is difficult because your fiance is happy living in Michigan. It reminds me of the movie "Revolutionary Road". What about his family and friends? He makes a good living at something he enjoys. What would you do if the situation were reversed? It is so expensive to live here. If I were in your situation, I would stay in Michigan and make frequent trips to Brooklyn. Good luck!
First if you want to move back are you able to afford a home in NYC? You just had a baby don't you want a nice yard to play in? Ready to send the child to the NYC public schools or pay outrageous private school tuition?
Maybe instead of living IN NYC you can open you mind up around the area? NJ? North of the City? CT? You can open up the job search more wider. There are more jobs in Manhattan, but then again there are double maybe triple the amount of people applying for those jobs.
Seems like he got a wonderful job and you're financially stable. Do you want to risk all that especially in this economy?
You met the man of your life ,who is gainfully employed with a 100,000 salary and had a child but label your time in Michigan as wasted ? There is so much going on in this scenario,so many conflicting currents that I'm afraid I don't see a happy ending here.
Good luck but just remember that wherever you go...there you are.
Good luck but just remember that wherever you go...there you are.[/quote]
So true.
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