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I actually enjoy being alone a lot. That's one of the best things about living in NYC.
My friends are mostly women and I'm a straight guy. I find most men to be a little too rough around the edges for my taste. Soon to be married. Future wife has been cool with the women friends...so far.
Don't most people meet either at school or work? I'm not exactly an outgoing type, but I've had no problem meeting friends.
Wow.. This thread scared me a little.
I will be living in NYC soon and it sucks to be alone.
I know for sure I don't want to have a relationship with a guy, I just want a friend of the opposite gender to hang out! Not easy as guys tend to be annoying and can cross the line.
This is probably why I tend to appreciate making friends with girls to go shopping, watch movies, concerts, etc
AGAIN, most girls these days are searching and looking desperately for their "Special One". Ugh
I agree that adults can have hard time making friends.
What do you like? maybe we can be hangout buddies? can't hangout with my guys friends anymore, they are like all married or serious with their girlfriend.
You good with fashion, I need to learn how to dress as well.
I gotta say I never realized how hard it would be to make friends after college. You take friends for granted when you are younger, but as you get older and people start to move away and get married and everyone just goes in different directions, your social circle shrinks. Especially when you work from home like me! No one wants to be bothered, everyone is in a rush. Unless you are a social butterfly it's tough.
In order to make friends you gotta kind be forced to see people repeatedly, like in school, work...etc. When two grown people have to PLAN to see each other, it's hard.
The relationships just grew. We had things in common. Sometimes it's not something as simple as your love for kayaking or afternoon yoga. I met people who left their whole family behind. In my industry. This is just my personal experience of how I was able to connect. I never really believed these people were friends. But the ones who were proved it over time. I now consider them family. When I cannot get home for major holidays we spend them together, and I cannot tell you what a comfort that can be. They are an asset to my professional network but mostly just my spiritual base now.
Wow. Leaving your family behind, wow. Good to hear you were able to develop new friendships and they are your family. It's doable but scary. My sister didn't want to do that (she had a long distance relationship with someone in a different state and they broke up for that reason). But she didn't want to relocate because she didn't want to leave us. Me, on the other hand, I love my fam but I a bit tired of NYC and I don't mind relocating. My reason for staying is because the fam helps out. But I have been thinking about it more and more (about relocating). About taking that risk and moving me and my lil' one somewhere else. I just gotta find out some cities that are job-friendly and also mom friendly!
I gotta say I never realized how hard it would be to make friends after college. You take friends for granted when you are younger, but as you get older and people start to move away and get married and everyone just goes in different directions, your social circle shrinks. Especially when you work from home like me! No one wants to be bothered, everyone is in a rush. Unless you are a social butterfly it's tough.
In order to make friends you gotta kind be forced to see people repeatedly, like in school, work...etc. When two grown people have to PLAN to see each other, it's hard.
LOL, yep. It is. But it's doable. It's a two way street. I actually have been making efforts with people and people have many excuses or our schedules never match. I decided that a couple of weeks ago was their last chance. They also have kids so I thought it would've been better, we can have playdates and stuff but maaaaaan, it's a damn struggle with these folks. At least I can say that my single friends, to this day, are my rock. Sometimes, we feel having things in common makes a friendship easier and it really doesn't.
@the OP, I can relate to how you feel about being lonely and struggling to make friends, albeit it was in a different vein. I am a Denver native, so people from where I am from are friendly and mellow. However, my problem was that people were too passive-aggressive and friendly, so if they weren't really into being true friends with me, they'd pretend they were to avoid "bad vibes" or negativity. Example, I'd see people and they'd be happy and fun to be around and acted like we were friends, but when I'd call or FB message them, they'd ignore me and blow me off. Then next time they saw me they'd make a half-hearted attempt at explaining why they missed my call and never responded. I'm an eccentric dude, so I suppose I have a personality where it takes awhile to understand me. I think New Yorkers are more blunt and serious, but once you're friends, they'd probably be there with you no matter what. For me, being around Denverites meant I had a lot of mellow friends around, but not many close "ride-or-die" friends. So I can relate to you feeling lonely, bro. I'd recommend trying out Meetup.com groups to see groups that have similar interests and find people who are similar to you and that.
Years ago I moved to NYC and lived in the Village. It was lonely until I started going out on the weekends exploring the city. I made a ton of friends hanging around local bars. I was very lucky because I had a great job so money wasn't a problem. I made lots of friends at work and we'd go out almost every night of the week. I would go out to the Island and stay with my sister just to get some rest!!!LOL But I am a very out going person and I'm also comfortable when I'm alone. I don't need to have a big circle of friends. I also belong to a few different organizations. For instance I belong to an antiques club. The moose, the elks, and the American legion are also good ways to make friends. If your into sports look on line see if anyone is looking for people to go to games with.
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