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i didnt expect this shocking news, even if I have to say
things have been crazy at my job lately and I come home late and exausted
Anyway she showed me a paper from Supreme Court of the State of NY:
"Action of divorce", "you are summoned to serve a notice of appearance at Plaintiff Attorney within 30 days".... signed by " Attorney for Plaintiff"...
Does this mean My signature is not required to finalize the divorce?
And how long will the process take?
i dont want to lose my marriage so quickly, is there anything I can do
to stop it?
my wife said this decision has been made a long time ago and she is not going to change her mind;
i didnt expect this shocking news, even if I have to say
things have been crazy at my job lately and I come home late and exausted
Anyway she showed me a paper from Supreme Court of the State of NY:
"Action of divorce", "you are summoned to serve a notice of appearance at Plaintiff Attorney within 30 days".... signed by " Attorney for Plaintiff"...
Does this mean My signature is not required to finalize the divorce?
And how long will the process take?
i dont want to lose my marriage so quickly, is there anything I can do
to stop it?
my wife said this decision has been made a long time ago and she is not going to change her mind;
Can anyone please advice?
thank you
Sorry about your situation since it appears that you don't both want out. Is it too late to wine and dine her, bring home flowers, whisper sweet nothings, and recapture the past?
If it is, I recommend you protect your stake in the marriage, contest it if that's what you feel is necessary, or agree to the terms if you feel that they are correct......and move on.
It could take several months to years depending on the level of disputes or magnitude of any contesting that you might pursue.
Sorry to hear the news, though in the long run you may be relieved to have a fresh start, too.
First, get a lawyer! Do you have kids? Then make sure he/she is a good one, and a female might be your best best, if you have to deal with custody issues. But watch out, NYC is notorious for bleeding you for shrinks in such cases!
One place to do some research on them is martindale.com. You will find lawyers, with their specialties (you want family law), and I would go for a lawyer who has a peer rating. They run from A thru C ... I'd go for at least a B. Those who are rated C are either young, or just not all that good. The A's are really top-notch ... and you'll pay a premium, no doubt.
I'd also be wary of going super hard into battle ... look to settle if possible, but don't be a chump. Good luck.
Usually, a one-year separation is required before it's final in N.Y., though I think there have been some moves to change that.
Last edited by keith talent; 01-30-2009 at 03:20 PM..
Sorry about your situation since it appears that you don't both want out. Is it too late to wine and dine her, bring home flowers, whisper sweet nothings, and recapture the past?
If it is, I recommend you protect your stake in the marriage, contest it if that's what you feel is necessary, or agree to the terms if you feel that they are correct......and move on.
It could take several months to years depending on the level of disputes or magnitude of any contesting that you might pursue.
Cosign.
And I'm sorry about your situation. I hope everything works out for you BOTH.
Here is some advice, take it for what it is worth.
The first is to stay out of Supreme Court. This could end up costing you an arm and a leg and nobody wants to go through this economy in more debt then they need. If divorce is where your heading then withdraw the action in Supreme Court and take it into Family Court.
The hardest part is agreeing on the terms of the divorce. This is the only place that you and your wife can control your legal costs and how quickly you can get on with your life. If you can agree on the terms you can then file in Family Court and wait for the Judge to sign the divorce.
The biggest obstacles are the terms, which boils down working out property, child custody and visitation and money. So if you are both working, rent and have no kids then file in Family Court.
Just remember to weigh the costs of fighting for anything in court, it could cost you more in legal fees then what you were trying to protect.
Maybe you need to think about why she filed the divorce in the first place. Are you missing out on something? Are you still making her happy? Remember that not all women are the same, we do not think alike. So, let her remember all the good reasons why she married you in the first place, and she will hopefully find it in her heart. If you believe in God, pray harder! If you do not, you better believe in God now. God bless!
This thread was started in 2009, I would venture to guess that the issue has been resolved by 2016.
I remember when my husband left me, only a week later I was served with divorce papers - for Supreme Court. It was the worst time of my life, actually. My divorce took me three years to process - but back then, New York was a, "no fault" State. I hear the process is a lot easier today because you don't have to have a proven reason to get a divorce.
I had to retain a lawyer, and the retainer fee was something like $4,000, but that was back in 2006.
I think you should either work things out with her - at least try, or try to represent yourself if you have a bit of legal training. I winded up representing myself towards my last year of divorce because I could no longer - at the time - afford the $4,000 every three months plus the $350 an hour fee. This is not to mention court costs, and other idiot administrative fees. Yeah, that's about what they charge so really decide if you want to retain a lawyer.
By the way - usually when someone sideswipes you like that with a divorce, it's cause there is someone else in the picture.
I wonder what happened to OP.
If you look at his posts, he posts Termination of his job a day after he posted this which was his last post
His wife filed for divorce on Jan 2009
RIP OP.
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It was the worst time of my life, actually. My divorce took me three years to process - but back then, New York was a, "no fault" State. I hear the process is a lot easier today because you don't have to have a proven reason to get a divorce.
