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I'm a 26 year old with a master's degree. The problem is I made the mistake of going for a program I ended up hating (Archives). I should have dropped out after the first semester, but I stuck it out. Mostly, because it was only a year and I though the gap would look worse than the masters degree. I have no desire to ever go into the field again. The job marktet is horrible and most of the jobs are located in small towns.
As an out gay man, I cannot live in a small town. I need culture and choices in what to do. Not a place with no social life at all. I'm currently stuck in one right now, and it is hell. I'm living with my parents, who are a couple of old ignorant small town morons. I was forced back into the closet. I have no friends in the area, no chance of meeting a boyfriend. The microscopic amount of gay men here are closet cases in their 40's. The only job I was able to find here pays next to nothing. It is associated with welfare and drug addict transportation and is totally toxic to me and my way of being.
I need a new start. I don't have much experience, I know that. I know that I will have to start small and work at it. I'm not afraid of that. It has to be better than this hell hole. I do have a couple questions.
Is it wise to go for starting positions, when you have a masters degree? In fields not directly related to the subject of said degree. I did like the brief forays into record and information management. I was thinking something along those lines. I also have an interest in inport/export as I did some work along those lines in between undergrad and gradOr just a job to get me there, its not going to be what I want.
I get that moving to Manhattan is nigh impossible at first. I was thinking Astoria or Long Island City, assuming I could live there and still have a valid social life in Manhattan without being too far to go to events. I'm currently 75 min from any sign of what I would consider civilization, so anything less than that would be a definite plus. I have also heard about dormitory-style houses for women, do they have similar places for men? Anyone know what they are like?
I am in the process of dejunking and boxing my stuff up so I can call for it when I'm ready. My biggest issue is books. I have too many, most of them are graphic novels. I was looking into a Kindle, as I love to read, but the artwork never looks good in a digital format. I would have to keep the hard copies. How many books is too many for an apartment.
I don't know many people in New York. I do have an acquaintance from college, and the friend of a relative. One is letting me use her address on my resume, as I infer that people don't even look at out of town resumes.
As per financial, I have 11,000 in savings plus I'm selling my car. This is not including me checking account with about $700 in it at any given time.
I never plan on coming back to this place. I decided that I would rather starve on the streets then live here again. My family is not supportive, and I plan on leaving them behind forever. I'm not trying to be melodramatic, I'm just stating the facts. I have no connection to anyone outside my parents, and they told me to not waste my life taking care of them like they did with their parents.
My goal is to have a loving partner and my own apartment in Manhattan by the time I'm 30 and to find the job that works for me.
Would it be suicide to just go for it and move without a job? I'm getting to the point where if its not now, then it will be another six months due to winter making travel too difficult. Or would that be the time to go, when no one else is. I did take a bartending course in my fruitless job hunt, so I could at least do that.
Why are you so stuck on Manhattan? do you really want to spend 2500-3000 for a 1 bedroom apartment? You mentioned Astoria. there are plenty of gay men there and the commute is 30 minutes to mditown. and the rent is about 1400-1600 for an average one bedroom.
New York is so huge that you can have a great social life within your own neighborhood in Brooklyn or Queens depending on where you're at. You've got a significant savings account--which is great. However, that will run out quick if you are not strategic about your move here.
Bring as little with you as possible and leave the rest at your parents house. Look for a room share on craigslist in Brooklyn or Queens. You'll get into a better neighborhood if you are willing to share a place and you are at the perfect craigslist roommate age (anyone in their 20's). When you look at places, make sure to bring up that you are gay but don't make a big deal about it after that. I think Astoria in Queens is a good suggestion, along with maybe Bay Ridge, Sunset Park, Prospect Park, Fort Greene in Brooklyn. If you can, the southern part of Park Slope is great--(lots of gay people in that hood) Try to make sure you are within a 10 minute walk of a subway line going into Manhattan if you can. Of course, you should look in Chelsea and Hell's Kitchen for a share (the two biggest gay neighborhoods) and who knows you may find a deal--but don't count on it. It's likely you're going to live in an outer borough and there is nothing wrong with that.
As for your masters, I don't think the fact that its unrelated to certain jobs will be as big an issue as you think--especially being so young. Due to your age, employers will still look at you as being "moldable" to their company. I've got a fair number of friends who have jobs that have absolutely nothing to do with their masters degree and they are gainfully employed.
If you have no debt and no kids it’s not that hard to live in the city. It’s not easy, compared with other cities, but it’s doable. New York has been a Mecca for 20-something gay men for 40 years. You’ll fit right in.
A word of caution, New York is for the confident but also the open minded. Circumstances change, plans change, people change. It’s a city of possibility, but what you think want might not be the best option in the end.
I'm a 26 year old with a master's degree. The problem is I made the mistake of going for a program I ended up hating (Archives). I should have dropped out after the first semester, but I stuck it out. Mostly, because it was only a year and I though the gap would look worse than the masters degree. I have no desire to ever go into the field again. The job marktet is horrible and most of the jobs are located in small towns.
As an out gay man, I cannot live in a small town. I need culture and choices in what to do. Not a place with no social life at all. I'm currently stuck in one right now, and it is hell. I'm living with my parents, who are a couple of old ignorant small town morons. I was forced back into the closet. I have no friends in the area, no chance of meeting a boyfriend. The microscopic amount of gay men here are closet cases in their 40's. The only job I was able to find here pays next to nothing. It is associated with welfare and drug addict transportation and is totally toxic to me and my way of being.
I need a new start. I don't have much experience, I know that. I know that I will have to start small and work at it. I'm not afraid of that. It has to be better than this hell hole. I do have a couple questions.
Is it wise to go for starting positions, when you have a masters degree? In fields not directly related to the subject of said degree. I did like the brief forays into record and information management. I was thinking something along those lines. I also have an interest in inport/export as I did some work along those lines in between undergrad and gradOr just a job to get me there, its not going to be what I want.
I get that moving to Manhattan is nigh impossible at first. I was thinking Astoria or Long Island City, assuming I could live there and still have a valid social life in Manhattan without being too far to go to events. I'm currently 75 min from any sign of what I would consider civilization, so anything less than that would be a definite plus. I have also heard about dormitory-style houses for women, do they have similar places for men? Anyone know what they are like?
I am in the process of dejunking and boxing my stuff up so I can call for it when I'm ready. My biggest issue is books. I have too many, most of them are graphic novels. I was looking into a Kindle, as I love to read, but the artwork never looks good in a digital format. I would have to keep the hard copies. How many books is too many for an apartment.
I don't know many people in New York. I do have an acquaintance from college, and the friend of a relative. One is letting me use her address on my resume, as I infer that people don't even look at out of town resumes.
As per financial, I have 11,000 in savings plus I'm selling my car. This is not including me checking account with about $700 in it at any given time.
I never plan on coming back to this place. I decided that I would rather starve on the streets then live here again. My family is not supportive, and I plan on leaving them behind forever. I'm not trying to be melodramatic, I'm just stating the facts. I have no connection to anyone outside my parents, and they told me to not waste my life taking care of them like they did with their parents.
My goal is to have a loving partner and my own apartment in Manhattan by the time I'm 30 and to find the job that works for me.
Would it be suicide to just go for it and move without a job? I'm getting to the point where if its not now, then it will be another six months due to winter making travel too difficult. Or would that be the time to go, when no one else is. I did take a bartending course in my fruitless job hunt, so I could at least do that.
A Master's Degree is not experience - so where else would you start but with "starting" positions? And there are gay people in Brooklyn AND Queens. They are allowed to travel freely. lol
I think you'd have an easier time living in one of those places than dreaming of the male sex and the city version of life. There's a lot of opportunity in NY but moving here doesn't make you a different person.
... There's a lot of opportunity in NY but moving here doesn't make you a different person.
That's a great way to put it. I think that's one of the most common transplant follies. The normal person in suburbia who moves to New York and becomes a hipster. The unhappy middle age person who thinks New York is the remedy to all his/her problems, internal and otherwise.
To the OP, look for a studio in Queens or Brooklyn. Not only will your money go considerably further there, but also, you'll likely find in those areas the environment you're looking for.
Where in America do you live? If you're closer to the East Coast, I'd probably say NYC is a good choice. Philly might be a surprisingly good alternative as well (much more affordable than NY too) which has a sizable "gayborhood" although nothing quite like New York. If you are in the Midwest, I'd put in a strong vote for Chicago (very large GLBT community and pretty affordable compared to the coasts), and in the west coast San Francisco is a no brainer, but like NY is very expensive. Best of luck!
Quote:
Originally Posted by jwebster1985
I'm a 26 year old with a master's degree. The problem is I made the mistake of going for a program I ended up hating (Archives). I should have dropped out after the first semester, but I stuck it out. Mostly, because it was only a year and I though the gap would look worse than the masters degree. I have no desire to ever go into the field again. The job marktet is horrible and most of the jobs are located in small towns.
As an out gay man, I cannot live in a small town. I need culture and choices in what to do. Not a place with no social life at all. I'm currently stuck in one right now, and it is hell. I'm living with my parents, who are a couple of old ignorant small town morons. I was forced back into the closet. I have no friends in the area, no chance of meeting a boyfriend. The microscopic amount of gay men here are closet cases in their 40's. The only job I was able to find here pays next to nothing. It is associated with welfare and drug addict transportation and is totally toxic to me and my way of being.
I need a new start. I don't have much experience, I know that. I know that I will have to start small and work at it. I'm not afraid of that. It has to be better than this hell hole. I do have a couple questions.
Is it wise to go for starting positions, when you have a masters degree? In fields not directly related to the subject of said degree. I did like the brief forays into record and information management. I was thinking something along those lines. I also have an interest in inport/export as I did some work along those lines in between undergrad and gradOr just a job to get me there, its not going to be what I want.
I get that moving to Manhattan is nigh impossible at first. I was thinking Astoria or Long Island City, assuming I could live there and still have a valid social life in Manhattan without being too far to go to events. I'm currently 75 min from any sign of what I would consider civilization, so anything less than that would be a definite plus. I have also heard about dormitory-style houses for women, do they have similar places for men? Anyone know what they are like?
I am in the process of dejunking and boxing my stuff up so I can call for it when I'm ready. My biggest issue is books. I have too many, most of them are graphic novels. I was looking into a Kindle, as I love to read, but the artwork never looks good in a digital format. I would have to keep the hard copies. How many books is too many for an apartment.
I don't know many people in New York. I do have an acquaintance from college, and the friend of a relative. One is letting me use her address on my resume, as I infer that people don't even look at out of town resumes.
As per financial, I have 11,000 in savings plus I'm selling my car. This is not including me checking account with about $700 in it at any given time.
I never plan on coming back to this place. I decided that I would rather starve on the streets then live here again. My family is not supportive, and I plan on leaving them behind forever. I'm not trying to be melodramatic, I'm just stating the facts. I have no connection to anyone outside my parents, and they told me to not waste my life taking care of them like they did with their parents.
My goal is to have a loving partner and my own apartment in Manhattan by the time I'm 30 and to find the job that works for me.
Would it be suicide to just go for it and move without a job? I'm getting to the point where if its not now, then it will be another six months due to winter making travel too difficult. Or would that be the time to go, when no one else is. I did take a bartending course in my fruitless job hunt, so I could at least do that.
You whacked right into my core...useless Master's degree into a depression 1973-1975, gay.
All I can say it that it CAN work out.
If I were you I'd come into the City and do the rounds of gay bars for bartending...good bartenders can do VERY well.
Housing will be a big SUCK for a while but you will find something.
Though I hate myself for saying it, CUTE and YOUNG are big assets...don't forget that.
Remember there are parts of Jersey City and Newark that are a quick PATH ride into town.
Remember too that a good partner can move you ahead...there's more to life than Praetorius Biggus Dickus.
(My God, writing that post wore me out emotionally.)
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