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Old 07-17-2012, 05:17 PM
 
98,400 posts, read 97,564,045 times
Reputation: 72430

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the reality is try having a life without one.
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Old 07-17-2012, 06:59 PM
 
Location: Live in NY, work in CT
10,830 posts, read 17,598,307 times
Reputation: 4698
Quote:
Originally Posted by jcoltrane View Post
Sorry, but the thought of leaving your job for the above reason is the STUPIDEST, childish, most immature, irresponsible notion, besides having a child you cannot afford!

Your job is your life! Without it you have NOTHING!

How long you think your woman is going to watch you, the *man* sit around collecting unemployment while she works and brings home the beacon. I don't care how nice, how great the relationship, how understanding she may be, how in agreement, the clock will be ticking the moment you are unemployed!!

Sorry, that is just the way life works. Money is the number one relationship issue!!!

NEVER EVER depend on the government for ANYTHING! Depend on yourself and make decisions accordingly. You'll maintain your independence and you will be forced to make more appropriate decisions!

Btw, do you think all of us pay taxes so that you can collect our taxes, because of 15 MINUTES??? Because YOU made a very poor decision and brought a life into this world irresponsibly, WE SHOULD PAY???

Are you freaking serious???

It is attitudes like this that is causing the nation to go bankrupt! Every dollar you receive is money coming from others, and is money the nation MUST BORROW, because there isn't enough tax revenue to pay people like you!

Think about this!

****

More intelligent solutions below:

First, speak with your employer, explain your predicament, and ask to have your hours adjusted. Perhaps you can get in 15 minutes or whatever earlier, in order that you leave earlier.

Second, perhaps your GF can have her hours adjusted.

Third, find somebody to watch your kid for 30 minutes, PAY THEM!

Fourth, MOVE!!!!



****

Btw, what excuse will you provide unemployment for QUITTING your job? "My commute is 15 minutes longer"??? LMAO!

You do realize, we are in a recession!!! What assurance do you have that you will find another job? Find a job, before unemployment runs out? Find a job, before Mitt Romney puts a stop to the BS spending??!

Sorry, I'm slamming you, but your proposal deserves it.

Question: in exchange for government help, would you agree to a vasectomy???

I DO NOT have children, because I cannot afford them. It is a decision I have made. Given that I have made the right and proper decisions according to my life standards, please explain WHY **I** in the form of MY taxes must/should PAY YOU and YOUR kid???

Tea Party, Tea Party, Tea Party! No More Spending. Not another dime!
say NO to the Democrats! No, No, No, No Compromise!
where is the "fairness" Mr. Obama?


Is it fair, this guy has a kid, he can't afford, and I don't have one, I can afford?
where is the fairness Mr. Obama?
Grover Norquist, Cut, Cut, Cut!

Shall we be Greece....
While I think your comment goes a bit too far about it, I do agree that most employers would probably laugh at your reason using perhaps a more compassionate version of the above logic. I think you * MAY * convince unemployment that you qualify after resigning if they were actually moving to another metro area, but I don't think even the government would justify giving it to you based on an extra 15 minutes of your commute, especially since they're always trying to find ways to have LESS people on the rolls.

Try to work it out with your employer (most are not very accomodating, but if you happen to work for one who has a lot of turnover, you'll probably pull it off), who knows, if your employer is really crappy maybe they'll respond by firing you in a way where you'd get unemployment (they could also be really nasty and fire you for "performance" reasons and then you won't get UI without a hearing and perhaps a court case). But if they simply say "no" and you keep your job, work it out with your GF and maybe find a babysitter. Good luck!
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Old 07-17-2012, 07:18 PM
 
30,339 posts, read 43,513,999 times
Reputation: 12866
Although jcoltrane's logic is a bit harsh, I have to agree. If I was in the predicament of the OP, I would talk to my boss to see if something could be worked out. And if you are in good standing on your job, I don't see why something cant be worked out. I have personally gone to my bosses for situations and my good standing worked out in my favor, and I was always granted my request. Bosses dont like to lose good employees (majority of the time). If not then plan B would be to pay for childcare. Its truth - where would all of us be right now without that job? I've worked since I was 17, I can't see myself ever not working unless I'm retired, whether it be for an employer or my own business.
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Old 07-18-2012, 12:59 AM
 
Location: Washington, DC & New York
10,918 posts, read 29,907,779 times
Reputation: 7129
If I were in the same situation, I would take the transfer, hire a babysitter/engag e a local daycare if work hours could not be adjusted with your employer, and begin to explore options for a different/better position that offers more flexibility in hours or a better location. Forest Hills has many families, so qualified childcare should not be too difficult to find. Something has to shift because the employer has relocated your assigned location, either you have to look into moving for a more favorable commute, or switching positions to find a better balance. Do not quit your job over this issue; rather look to transition into another position if this one does not work out when you engage childcare. Your girlfriend will benefit as she can leave at the same time daily, regardless of any delays on your end due to work or travel, and you will have time to get home without being unduly rushed.

Just be aware that it can be easier to hire an agency/service that controls the work location of a pre-screened employee than to go it on your own, as on your own, you would have to file employer taxes for a domestic household employee, even one with only a daily two-hour position, as the cost would exceed the threshold where you do not have to file, both state and federal.
__________________
All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players: they have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts, his acts being seven ages.
~William Shakespeare
(As You Like It Act II, Scene VII)

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Old 07-18-2012, 07:18 AM
 
Location: Manhattan
24,714 posts, read 34,678,330 times
Reputation: 12240
Whether you can collect unemployment hinges on the single item that likeminas posted:

Quote:
Quit your job without good cause, such as a compelling personal reason
and on the two words GOOD CAUSE.

This will fall to an Administrative Judge in the department to decide. For example, had your company wanted to move you to South Carolina you could have said no and been likely judged to have had "good cause."

But you are claiming an extra 15 minutes getting to work is "good cause" for quitting and I really doublt that the judge will agree with you. More likelyy he would judge it a "slight inconvenience" and deny you benefits.

Of course, you COULD develop a snarky attitude, like some here, and work slower, sloppier, more forgetful, more cranky, take lots of sick days, etc...you get the idea.
Then you would be fired WITHOUT CAUSE (in the jargon of UI) and be able to collect.
You can STINK at your job and be let go...and you are entitled to UI.
However this method has drawbacks if you ever need any kind of job reference. But in the real world companies are loathe to giive bad references for fear of a lawsuit.

It's also a good way to "quit" your LAST job and still collect. Then you don't NEED a reference.
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Old 07-18-2012, 11:26 AM
 
1,151 posts, read 2,044,981 times
Reputation: 782
Just to clear some things up, I am NOT some scumbag welfare case. I'm not sure you are aware but UI is money that is collected while working in case something happens. I have been working almost 10 years, never collected, been out of work for only 3 months out of that time. Don't ready me the riot act like I'm some idiot kid trying to find a way not to work.

Second, my JOB isn't the most important thing ever, my FAMILY is the most important thing. I would prefer NOT to have to take unemployment but alas, here we are. When I started this job, there was a branch manager, an assistant branch manager and lots of help. A couple weeks after the ABM's were laid off, the BM left to be a trainer, and I was the only person on the platform left. I worked open to close most days, worked saturdays without a day off during the week to make sure the branch kept running. I barely knew what I was doing since the training was poor and I had no support system.

So now, here we are with them forcing me to go to a branch that I said is too far away. A lead teller from another branch works now in Union Square after they forced him to go there and he hates the commute as well. We already pretty much hand the baby off so she can get ready really quick and go to work, now that's in jeopardy. I wanted to know my options should they not allow me to adjust the time that I leave when she has work. But I don't know the type of manager I will be dealing with.

As for her going to work and making the money, she WANTS me to stay home badly so we don't have to struggle finding babysitting. If I collected UI it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world financially since we already spend money on paying friends and family to come watch her.

And need I remind you that your comments are insensitive to the many stay at home dads out there? There are plenty guys willing to sacrifice their career to be with their child. It's your views that make stay at home dad's feel like crap and worthless. She makes double what I do, I have learned to accept this. She is in a high demand field.

So basically, I wanted to learn what I could and couldn't do. I was not saying I'm filing because those jerks cost me 15 minutes a day. I would file if they didn't work with my schedule, refused to put me any place closer, and possibly forced me to work more saturdays (I was only told 1 saturday, now I work up to 3). I'm sorry I don't want to spend 90% of my time commuting to work and being at work, because then what is the point? I have tried to get a transfer to a branch closer to me, but to no avail.

So keep your angry comments to yourself. You want to go trash me, write me a PM, don't rant and rave because you are angry about welfare recipients. Ok?
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Old 07-18-2012, 11:34 AM
 
23 posts, read 60,646 times
Reputation: 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by jcoltrane View Post
Sorry, but the thought of leaving your job for the above reason is the STUPIDEST, childish, most immature, irresponsible notion, besides having a child you cannot afford!

Your job is your life! Without it you have NOTHING!

How long you think your woman is going to watch you, the *man* sit around collecting unemployment while she works and brings home the beacon. I don't care how nice, how great the relationship, how understanding she may be, how in agreement, the clock will be ticking the moment you are unemployed!!

Sorry, that is just the way life works. Money is the number one relationship issue!!!

NEVER EVER depend on the government for ANYTHING! Depend on yourself and make decisions accordingly. You'll maintain your independence and you will be forced to make more appropriate decisions!

Btw, do you think all of us pay taxes so that you can collect our taxes, because of 15 MINUTES??? Because YOU made a very poor decision and brought a life into this world irresponsibly, WE SHOULD PAY???

Are you freaking serious???

It is attitudes like this that is causing the nation to go bankrupt! Every dollar you receive is money coming from others, and is money the nation MUST BORROW, because there isn't enough tax revenue to pay people like you!

Think about this!

****

More intelligent solutions below:

First, speak with your employer, explain your predicament, and ask to have your hours adjusted. Perhaps you can get in 15 minutes or whatever earlier, in order that you leave earlier.

Second, perhaps your GF can have her hours adjusted.

Third, find somebody to watch your kid for 30 minutes, PAY THEM!

Fourth, MOVE!!!!



****

Btw, what excuse will you provide unemployment for QUITTING your job? "My commute is 15 minutes longer"??? LMAO!

You do realize, we are in a recession!!! What assurance do you have that you will find another job? Find a job, before unemployment runs out? Find a job, before Mitt Romney puts a stop to the BS spending??!

Sorry, I'm slamming you, but your proposal deserves it.

Question: in exchange for government help, would you agree to a vasectomy???

I DO NOT have children, because I cannot afford them. It is a decision I have made. Given that I have made the right and proper decisions according to my life standards, please explain WHY **I** in the form of MY taxes must/should PAY YOU and YOUR kid???

Tea Party, Tea Party, Tea Party! No More Spending. Not another dime!
say NO to the Democrats! No, No, No, No Compromise!
where is the "fairness" Mr. Obama?

Is it fair, this guy has a kid, he can't afford, and I don't have one, I can afford?
where is the fairness Mr. Obama?
Grover Norquist, Cut, Cut, Cut!

Shall we be Greece....

Is it because you can not afford them or Moderator cut: Imagery is not PG...lol
Dude you really need a chill pill..haha. I bet the last one who let you get close to her you got all angry and she had to run out screaming in fear of her life..haha

Go ahead write a long as* response if you want, maybe I will read it maybe I wont, but damn you get to "heated" over some things...smile

Last edited by bmwguydc; 07-18-2012 at 12:07 PM..
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Old 07-18-2012, 12:06 PM
 
Location: Washington, DC & New York
10,918 posts, read 29,907,779 times
Reputation: 7129
Well, if you can afford to be a SAHD, go for it. A parent is always better able to care for their own child, and you could network in the neighborhood with others and be able to provide for a good social life for your child. One of my relatives was in a similar situation, where they were actually paying more for child care than he was earning in salary, with an ivy league education, but his wife earned about five times his salary in salary alone, and used her bonuses to pay off their brownstone. Then, they were able to readjust and she quit 80-hour work weeks, and his salary came up a bit, but their expectations were adjusted. Had they not had a plan, the husband would have quit his job to care for the family.

It's difficult to find quality child care, to be sure, especially if you do not have a network of family nearby, so if you and your girlfriend don't want the hassle, and/or cannot find a good babysitter, it's probably wise to readjust expenditures right now and work towards your transition to a SAHD, at least until your child goes to school. You could always do that for now, and then look for a position that is flexible, part-time, etc. close to home that you may find.

A friend of mine did quit his job when he and his wife had twins, to care for them, and started his own little business related to a hobby that he had. He was making a decent salary for his field, but his wife earned about six times as much with her law firm, so he opted to be a SAHD. There's nothing wrong with making that decision, at all, but I don't know if you would be able to collect unemployment compensation under that situation. That would be open to interpretation.
__________________
All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players: they have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts, his acts being seven ages.
~William Shakespeare
(As You Like It Act II, Scene VII)

City-Data Terms of Service
City-Data FAQs
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Old 07-19-2012, 07:22 AM
 
Location: Manhattan
24,714 posts, read 34,678,330 times
Reputation: 12240
Some of us get it, skilldeadly.
Your job has little by little become obnoxious, like a Chinese water torture drop by drop...it has happened to lots of us. Finally enough is enough. You want to get OUT of the job but you don't want penury while you search for another job in this awful market that can often take a year or more to find another job.

So you NEED Unemployment Compensation.

You just have to walk that fine line that will get you out of the job without seeming to look too much like you quit.

It will take some careful, cagey planning. It is not impssible but requires care. It is conceivable that you could find a judge to rule in your favor by explaining your predicament and onerous job requirements but the odds are not on your side so you will have to flesh out your case to show that you did NOT quit without cause.

I would NOT talk to my employer about it, no matter HOW good the terms you are on. What you will be telling him is that you want him to collude in a criminal act and this can be presented to a judge when and if you leave and screw any hopes of your getting UI. DON'T DO IT...keep it YOUR secret.
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Old 07-19-2012, 07:50 AM
 
3,357 posts, read 4,369,255 times
Reputation: 1880
It's great to be able to have a parent home with the kids. When I was laid off several years ago, I appreciated the extra time with my kids, and I eventually started my own business (which is a ton of work) but at least allows me flexibility with my schedule and more time with my kids. Unfortunately, many employers are not very understanding of people taking time off to parent their children. I have friends who have had a lot of trouble getting back into a decent job after being stay at home moms. I think it's even worse for stay at home dads, so that's something you need to consider.
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