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What is all this focus on physical beauty and "attractiveness"? As my Aunt Jean would say "he/she sits down to S*** like everyone else.".
It may come as a shock to some of you but often the most attractive men and women are often the loneliest. People project so much onto attractive people and or have their own agenda. What can and usually does happen is people forget there is a person behind that fine equipment God meted out.
There is an episode of Sex in the City where Carrie nabs this young hot male model. As usual for her she gets a guy with problems. Turns out Mr. Gorgeous Model is painfully lonely. This Carrie cannot understand well because he *is* gorgeous. So instead of sex all the guy wants to do is talk and cuddle.
Personality and attitude matter the most in one's personal happiness index. I have seen children been brought up to believe they were princess so they have expectactions of being treated like princess in their future relationships in the real world and you know it is not going to work that way when they encounter similar minds.
You always go to this thing about someone being "chased" having "offers", getting sex and etc... Not everyone thinks along those lines. You also said a key word "attractive". Well beauty is in the eye of the beholder and not every female is such in ways that appeal to man.
There are very attractive women with nasty dispositions and have come with more baggage than a full 747. Yeah men "chase" after them but once true colors start coming out they are gone.
It isn't a matter of not being chased/having offers, just that some women feel they either aren't ready, don't want to marry and or have various other reasons for not doing so when offered. As years go by and she goes from her twenties to thirties, to forties and then fifties things change.
I don't dispute your reasoning esp. your last paragraph. Just saying here most attractive females in the workplace I've seen - even those that are average at best - eventually find qualified husbands one way or another with very little trouble. And they do this by their 30s with males within their age bracket. In my graduate school class, there is only one female who is unmarried. In my former employer, the only unmarried woman whom I worked with in her 20s back then is living with her boyfriend - everyone else within that age bracket eventually found husbands. Another pretty ex-coworker (looks like Kate Upton but with smaller...) moved back to her hometown in Cincinnati where she found a husband whom she had known since high school; she also found another job there in finance where she carries on with her career. Yeah, I would often hear them whine about how hard it was to find "good men" but that did not seem to change the outcomes. How they do it I don't know but they just do.
Your comment about true colors coming off is true for all people getting into relationships.
Last edited by Forest_Hills_Daddy; 09-21-2015 at 05:02 AM..
You always go to this thing about someone being "chased" having "offers", getting sex and etc... Not everyone thinks along those lines. You also said a key word "attractive". Well beauty is in the eye of the beholder and not every female is such in ways that appeal to man.
There are very attractive women with nasty dispositions and have come with more baggage than a full 747. Yeah men "chase" after them but once true colors start coming out they are gone.
It isn't a matter of not being chased/having offers, just that some women feel they either aren't ready, don't want to marry and or have various other reasons for not doing so when offered. As years go by and she goes from her twenties to thirties, to forties and then fifties things change.
This is so true, especially with the local women here in this city from my experience. This will chase away lots of good and or decent men.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Forest_Hills_Daddy
I don't dispute your reasoning esp. your last paragraph. Just saying here most attractive females in the workplace I've seen - even those that are average at best - eventually find qualified husbands one way or another with very little trouble. And they do this by their 30s with males within their age bracket. In my graduate school class, there is only one female who is unmarried. In my former employer, the only unmarried woman whom I worked with in her 20s back then is living with her boyfriend - everyone else within that age bracket eventually found husbands. Another pretty ex-coworker (looks like Kate Upton but with smaller...) moved back to her hometown in Cincinnati where she found a husband whom she had known since high school; she also found another job there in finance where she carries on with her career. Yeah, I would often hear them whine about how hard it was to find "good men" but that did not seem to change the outcomes. How they do it I don't know but they just do.
Your comment about true colors coming off is true for all people getting into relationships.
This is true to some extent. Eventually overtime things will even out for men and women here. I read a book recently, about some guy who in his twenties only liked women who were pretty, than when he reached his 30s his idea of a woman changed and married a plain Jane transplant woman here in NYC. Lots of women will find husbands but its going to happen way after 30s, instead of in their 20s. Also the women mainly the educated, careerist, transplant woman of any race begins to get jaded and starts to lower her standards from a white, college educated, white collar man, for any man that just has his stuff together. The book also said that women should move back to suburbia to find their husbands, mainly their high school sweetheart. Goodmen are all around in NYC, but most women don't give good men time, or they don't measure up to their ideal levels of attraction, or not on their level of career, intellect or education. 80 percent of women are chasing after 20 percent of men here in this city.
This is so true, especially with the local women here in this city from my experience. This will chase away lots of good and or decent men.
This is true to some extent. Eventually overtime things will even out for men and women here. I read a book recently, about some guy who in his twenties only liked women who were pretty, than when he reached his 30s his idea of a woman changed and married a plain Jane transplant woman here in NYC. Lots of women will find husbands but its going to happen way after 30s, instead of in their 20s. Also the women mainly the educated, careerist, transplant woman of any race begins to get jaded and starts to lower her standards from a white, college educated, white collar man, for any man that just has his stuff together. The book also said that women should move back to suburbia to find their husbands, mainly their high school sweetheart. Goodmen are all around in NYC, but most women don't give good men time, or they don't measure up to their ideal levels of attraction, or not on their level of career, intellect or education. 80 percent of women are chasing after 20 percent of men here in this city.
Had an African-American female friend in college that was just like that chick from "Girlfriends" Toni right down to the weaves.
Very attractive, stacked, etc... but selfish, vain, conceited and a super Snow Queen. Her father was a doctor or some such and the family was just as bougie as she was which probably explains a lot. This chick wouldn't give a brother the time of day if he was the young Obama. She only dated white "alpha"/WASP males and the occasional Jewish guy. Have to give the girl credit she always managed to pull what she wanted/needed but I and others noticed things never lasted for long. Yeah guys were into her but she never could seem to close the deal. Sooner or later there would be some drama...
Anyway lost track of this chick but ran into her coming from a meeting in Mid-Town. Now in her forties (fast approaching 50) she managed to nab one Prince Charming, but he ended up cheating on her so that was that and she hasn't had a steady man since.
Since this was a three martini lunch *LOL* I busted out with; "well you know.." and brought up this or that brother who was crazy about her back in the day. Her response was "I couldn't be bothered with those trifling *negroes* they didn't have any money and weren't going anywhere...".
That attitude is why you have so many older and lonely bitter females in NYC. When they are young and call pull it off it is all about running game; what they don't realize is guys soon get wise. Sure they will hit it, but don't look for nor expect any sort of deep long term commitment. As these women age out of the primary dating demographic yes, they will have to lower their standards otherwise their future is living alone with a cat.
Careerist women start off with inflated standards when it comes to men, that's why when they marry it appears like they "lowered" their standards. What I've seen is that the husbands they eventually end up with are within the range of what one would normally expect - college/graduate degree, white collar, urban etc. - these are men they meet within their professional circles. Basically it is what Bronxguyanese above stated which is evening out. I have rarely seen careerist women of average attractiveness marry a man who is obviously well beneath them. Women like Erin Callan tend to be outliers and not the norm.
Careerist women start off with inflated standards when it comes to men, that's why when they marry it appears like they "lowered" their standards. What I've seen is that the husbands they eventually end up with are within the range of what one would normally expect - college/graduate degree, white collar, urban etc. - these are men they meet within their professional circles. Basically it is what Bronxguyanese above stated which is evening out. I have rarely seen careerist women of average attractiveness marry a man who is obviously well beneath them. Women like Erin Callan tend to be outliers and not the norm.
Have you ever seen the movie Up In The Air with George Clooney? There is a scene where he has to teach an younger careerist woman how to fire people. In one of the scenes her boyfriend breaks up with her through a text message. The following scene she hopes her boyfriend or future husband is someone that is careerist, educated, white collar, white, and all other nuances that women like her want in a man. Clooney significant other schools the young woman by giving her a dose of reality when she hits 30.
What amazes me is that their are about 1 million or so Transients in NYC who come from other parts of the country. This population is a huge demographic that rival major ethnic groups in NYC. What's interesting is that these women come to NYC for careers with their college degrees from suburbia. There are more women in NYC with degrees than men. I don't know how women will find an equal, but things even out with age I guess. If you took 10 men and 10 women in a room, more than half the women will run to the most attractive guy, but overtime things even out. I think this experiment was conducted before. Some women will have to settle vs being alone.
Last edited by Bronxguyanese; 09-23-2015 at 05:23 AM..
Too much generalization in this thread. There are close to a million datable women in NYC. They come in all kinds of colors, flavors, and scents. I find Daddy's or Guyanese's observations true on one or two women I know, and untrue on several others.
One distinction could be women in cities vs women in the country riding horses. Then we can talk about some differences. But to say that women in NYC are different from those of Chicago -- I find this pretty simplistic.
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