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One main thing that will help you break the "cycle of poverty" is what field of engineering are you studying? Some engineering fields are crumbling at the core and almost impossible to find work, where others cant find people to fill the positions. I worked at an engineering firm that just had this problem. We wanted to hire but had trouble finding employees.
Also, You'll probably end up moving out of NYC with an engineering degree. Which if you make a very modest 40k a year starting salary after undergrad anywhere other than NYC you could buy a house big enough for you and your parents to live in.
If you can get some internships before you graduate the starting salary will most likely be even higher and your chances of having a good job upon graduation are even better.
The first step you need to do is get into the career center at your school. An ivy has all sorts of connections when it comes to employers so they will be able to find you work. It's good that you will be able to start off sooner than later.
also, being someone that has to work hard for everything they have instead of being given everything they want, you'll have a much greater work ethic than a lot of your peers and should be getting promotions faster than them.
Upon graduation you should be no where near poverty levels unless you do it to your self. you are on the right track to break out, and the only thing that can stop you, is you.
How about staying with your Grandparents for a change, so you're not living in the projects?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Discouragedcitizen
Well if you don't blend in, you will be picked.
People are mostly black/hispanic. Unfortunately, I don't blend in.
Don't listen to music or pull out iphones/pads. You WILL get noticed.
In those especially bad areas, ride with friends/family, or in the middle car. Don't take chances. People there are extremely rude. I take the train with my family to Queens, where my grandparents happen to own property. One time, this woman (won't name ethnicity, but if you guessed, you'd be 90% correct) told her child to sit at the "empty" seat. Mind you, the entire bench was filled, and having her daughter sit next to my brother meant that one of us would have to get up. Basically, just because I'm not black/hispanic, they think its alright to pick on me.
Watch out. People with loud mouths and music will be on the train. It "empties" at Myrtle, but then quickly refills at Junction.
Last month, a baby was standing on the bench. He fell when due to the force of the deceleration, and almost hit his head on the bench. My mother held him so that he did not fall. Yet, the woman was more angry that my mother touched the baby, than the fact that she prevented her son from falling. What a farce!
How about staying with your Grandparents for a change, so you're not living in the projects?
Well, between staying in the forms or some sort of student housing during the year, and with his/her grandparents during breaks, the OP could avoid the projects altogether, except for visits with his/her parents.
You know, yes, there are plenty of issues with the housing projects, but they aren't all bad. It takes all kinds of people to make the world work, and there's a lot you can learn from being around project people.
Project people are not the only ones who can ********* over. People of all walks of life will. And sometimes if their opinion of you is a good two shoes, a "smart" guy who worked his way of out poverty, they may think you are easy pray. So you might have to channel the projects at some point in the future.
Maybe the problem you have is you care too much about appearances and what other's have and not focusing on what you have. My parents are working class immigrants and didn't speak any English either but I never felt poor growing up. We never went on expensive vacations, we didn't own a car and I had to fund my own way through college with scholarships, loans and the GI Bill. What my parents did provide was love and care and the sense that I had as much right to succeed in life as anyone who came from a rich family.
I went to an Ivy League school. I know what it is like. There are many rich kids there and I swear, they purposely stock the cafeterias with the most expensive organic foods you can find. And yet at no time did I feel like I was any less likely to succeed compared to them because I knew my own worth and how intelligent I am. Both my sister and I grew up in the working class but now she is a doctor and I comfortably make six figures. I'm surprised being the product of a specialized high school and now an Ivy League student did not give you at least some sense of confidence that you are destined to succeed in life.
I am surprised by some things as well. Is this a real post ?
There are others in the ivy league who are not from wealthy families.
Why would someone be worried about leaving poverty with the prospect of an ivy league engineering - not even humanities - degree ?
Internships are assigned by academic deans and advisors, and/or by departments devoted to managing such assignments, depending on the school, and nobody asks for a credit report on the parents before placing a student. The ivy league schools, and the better non-ivies, are pursued by the more prestigious companies and all have access. It is the case that a family with connections might come up with something extra good, but barring that ... and this would be the exception. Another aspect of the ivies involves a kind of reluctance to flaunt family connections. The extent to which this is true does vary among schools culture-wise, in my opinion, Columbia being very much like that (to its credit) and Harvard quite a bit less so. Drawing on family connections means you may not be as smart as the next guy, cannot compete on your own merits, and nobody wants to project that possibility.
Finally, anyone from a modest background will find, if s/he performs outstandingly on course work and related, a large body of supporters in the real world. In other words, people simply love to find a needy student who made good. So it is the case that in the end, such a background is a bonus rather than a hindrance.
I went to an Ivy League school. I know what it is like. There are many rich kids there and I swear, they purposely stock the cafeterias with the most expensive organic foods you can find. And yet at no time did I feel like I was any less likely to succeed compared to them because I knew my own worth and how intelligent I am. Both my sister and I grew up in the working class but now she is a doctor and I comfortably make six figures. I'm surprised being the product of a specialized high school and now an Ivy League student did not give you at least some sense of confidence that you are destined to succeed in life.
I can relate ... and I wonder about the lack of confidence as well. Does not make sense.
How many really dumb rich kids did you meet at your school.
And how many are now doing anything at all ?
If you stick to your studies, work hard now so you don't have to later. Avoid the pitfalls of youth i.e. pregnancy, drug use, alcohol use, and make sure you graduate. You are young and studying to be an engineer, if you continue and not let yourself be distracted you will graduate and go on to better things.
Financially you should start saving and make it a lifelong habit. Fifteen to twenty percent of your income should be saved. You can make it out of the projects, don't worry what other people think, study hard and learn save money.
Don't watch television, educate yourself about the world around you, there are many opportunities in this city. One of your goals besides graduating from college is to save enough money for a down payment on a home. Go to a 1st time home buyers program and learn about the different housing opportunities available.
Lots of great advice here for you Discouragedcitizen. Actually at 67 years of age, I envy you and what your future seems to hold for you. I was lazy at school, not dumb, just lazy and missed many great opportunities. But I left school in the early 1960s and there were jobs galore even for uneducated and lazy guys like me. Eventually I managed, more through good luck than education or skills, to gain employment that suited me right through to my retirement. But in these 'golden' years, I have had the time to look back at my life and to what I have achieved. While my personal life is just fine (married to a real babe for 34 years, 3 kids, 2 grandchildren) and we are financially secure, I know that I could have done better. I also know that while I enjoyed my work (law enforcement) my heart really wanted to be doing something else. Not sure what but I think I could have done something mores satisfying than being society's garbage man.
Anyway, I think you are a nice person, obviously driven, with everything ahead of you. So reflect on what other posters have said, take much of their advice and don't beat yourself up so much. I would be very proud of you if you were my child.
Hi guys, thank you for all the kind comments. Sorry it has taken me so long to reply.
On campus recruiting seems like a good idea. I personally have begun to take advantage of services offered on campus, such as resume critiques and mock interviews. Also, I have begun to know some of the career people on a personal level, but I still do not know how to take advantage of recruiting. When I was on campus last semester, it had appeared to me that most were unwilling to hire freshmen.
Some people suggest that I simply get an internship the next summer and the following summer, but I fear that it is not so simple. There are people who are infinitely more qualified than I am, whether because they have experience due to something which I don't have access to, or because I feel I am incapable. I mean, sure I can apply, but what are the chances that I'll be accepted. As you might see, this fear of being left behind and possibly not being successful is a real one.
For example, I was interviewing for a project team on campus, and I had failed the interview because one of the interviewers (who later became a friend) told me that I was acting too nervous and shaky, and was making the other people feel uncomfortable. While I had great ideas and enjoy playing and using ideas, I have some very deep confidence issues to this day, many which stem from my insecurities due to race and poverty.
In terms of making connections, I really don't know what this involves. I'm really good with making casual contact with people (i.e., people who know my name, and will say hi to me, but never hang out), but how exactly does this change into a connection.
About cheapness, I certainly feel that is a problem. In my attempt to save money, I don't even want to spend it on things that I feel would be good for me or are even necessary. This brings me to another question: how can I start saving money and learn how to make investments. It might not be the best idea to make actual investments while still in school, because with the way fin. aid works, I'll have to pay a large portion of that back, but learning how to diversify my sources of income is a skill I feel will be very important in the future. What's a good way to learn this?
In terms of dating/drugs, I was never the kind of person to experiment with drugs, so I don't have to worry about that. The advice about birth control is certainly a good idea, since I am in no condition to begin providing for kids. While I am on this topic, I would like to express my frustration about the whole dating situation. The people who I would want to be dating I feel are out of my reach due to my race and my socio-economic status. While I would really hope that people are less superficial about things like this, my experience is that this matters a lot. Yes, even people of my same race are avoiding guys of my race, because of the negative connotations involved.
skinnayyy, which engineering professions are "crumbling at the core"? I'm currently on the MechE track, which I will try out next semester. If I end up not liking it, I am not too far behind in switching to another track.
I think it is true I care too much about appearances. What I've noticed is that I really do care about what other people think, and how that affects me. Unfortunately, that is something I need to work on.
My confidence issue is real; I've always had it, and I need to begin taking steps to change it. I feel that there are always people who are smarter than I am, and I cannot measure up to that standard, and that people negatively judge me for all the wrong reasons. I've been going to a counselor on-campus since beginning of last semester, but I felt that she largely does not understand my struggles and is unable to help me. How does this confidence issue not make sense? I feel that I'm inherently inferior, that I'll be looked down upon due to things out of my control.
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