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Old 06-20-2013, 09:08 AM
 
Location: Brooklyn, NY
37 posts, read 46,121 times
Reputation: 39

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Now and then, I see parents hit their kids in public. Most of the time, it is only a spanking, a swat on the arm or back. Occasionally, it can be an actual assault, like throwing their kid off a bus or shaking them violently. There are some parents who even verbally abuse their kids, saying things like, "I should never have had you".

Distressing as it is for many, no one intervenes. It is rare that someone speaks up and points out that it is very wrong to treat their kid like that. Of course, those parents cuss out that person, and tell them to mind their business. Moreover, if anyone sees this happening, especially on a train, they usually tell the person who confronted the parents to shut up next time and mind their business.

I'm a native New Yorker and like many, I don't get involved because we know that won't do any good, a verbal shouting match may ensue or worse. But yet, it is so upsetting to see parents swat or yell at their young kids so callously like that. It is abuse and the fact that we ignore what's happening (although we just stare at the parents) it is condoning the abuse. But we still don't intervene.

Are we New Yorkers really that jaded? Or are we so conditioned to avoid confrontation because we know this city is filled with violent people and we should always be careful? And should we really mind our business when it comes to parents and their kids, even though what they are doing is so wrong? Obviously, beating a kid in public would prompt many to call the police, but even then, not everyone will do that. I know New Yorkers can be very helpful to each other (I once fell flat on my face, and a Good Samaritan came running over to me), but maybe not enough?
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Old 06-20-2013, 09:55 AM
 
Location: Manhattan
23,810 posts, read 33,265,761 times
Reputation: 11488
Nope,

Other people's kids are their own business. Nothing we can do about that.
If the parents commit a crime, call a cop...otherwise walk away.
Confront a crazy whacko and it might cost you dearly.
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Old 06-20-2013, 12:38 PM
 
25,539 posts, read 21,379,725 times
Reputation: 10051
I saw an old woman pin a little girl down to the ground with her foot on the subway station. I told the MTA employees and police.

If you see outright assault of a child, tell the authorities. Call 911 if you have to. If the situation is that bad, ACS needs to get involved and take the child away.
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Old 06-20-2013, 12:39 PM
 
25,539 posts, read 21,379,725 times
Reputation: 10051
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kefir King View Post
Nope,

Other people's kids are their own business. Nothing we can do about that.
If the parents commit a crime, call a cop...otherwise walk away.
Confront a crazy whacko and it might cost you dearly.
The other thing is, obviously the parents would have no choice but to respond to the cops or ACS. Just a stranger on the street has no real authority.
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Old 06-20-2013, 12:44 PM
 
Location: Glendale NY
4,841 posts, read 9,203,850 times
Reputation: 3581
One of the many reasons I refuse to have kids in this city.
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Old 06-20-2013, 12:50 PM
 
Location: Upper East, NY
1,145 posts, read 2,847,270 times
Reputation: 561
OP includes examples that don't come close to breaking a law and most would find highly questionable reasons to step in- slapping a kid on the arm? berating them publicly?
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Old 06-20-2013, 01:09 PM
 
Location: Brooklyn New York
17,040 posts, read 28,701,793 times
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then you wonder why kids become out of control because their parents are afraid to give them a swat on the backside when they need it, now the parents have to worry about being called in CPS by some other parent.


MYOB.
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Old 06-20-2013, 01:15 PM
 
25,539 posts, read 21,379,725 times
Reputation: 10051
Quote:
Originally Posted by nightcrawler View Post
then you wonder why kids become out of control because their parents are afraid to give them a swat on the backside when they need it, now the parents have to worry about being called in CPS by some other parent.


MYOB.
Some of the most violent people had parents who beat them all the time. You'll hear the most ghetto people announce with pride how they beat their kids, who grow up to become gang bangers or go to jail anyway.

Also, there are valid reasons why people call the cops and ACS when they see child abuse. An old woman pinning a child to the ground with her foot? On a subway platform?

The OP also mentioned parents knocking kids completely down. Stuff like this can seriously hurt someone.
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Old 06-20-2013, 01:20 PM
 
163 posts, read 454,612 times
Reputation: 58
I think it depends on what type of assault/spanking you're talking about. I've spanked my almost four year old in her hand when she feels like touching everything she sees in the street. It's not hard but it's a sign for her to stop or it will be harder. So, I think it all depends...
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Old 06-20-2013, 01:29 PM
 
Location: Dallas, TX
2,895 posts, read 5,578,710 times
Reputation: 2169
I recently witnessed the same thing at a local fast food joint in Brooklyn. A woman verbally abusing her 3 (maybe 4 yr old) child.... "I fking told you not to touch it yet" followed by a smack over the head.

It's pretty hard to witness a display of public abuse without intervening, especially when it's a child thats being victimized but when you think this with a cold head, there isn't much you can do.

Even if you do intervene, in that particular moment, the child will still have to go home with the abuser, and who knows what will happen to that child behind closed doors when no one is around to intercede.

What's worse is that this is a vicious cycle. That kid having taught that conflict is solved with a swat will -most likely- grow up to be a school bully, wife or child beater himself. I wish there was something that could be done, but it ain't.

Some people just have no business having children in the first place.
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