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Birth control doesn't stop pregnancy from happening; it decreases the probability of conception. Short of a complete removal of her uterus, any woman having sex has the possibility of conceiving from it.
It isn't safe sex; it's contraceptive sex. They aren't the same thing. I never understand how people can be surprised when a woman who is having sex conceives a child... when they make the assumption that contraception has no fail rate. Conception is the primal result of intercourse.
And now that she is pregnant, no amount of judgement or voiced outrage is going to reverse the FACT that she is already carrying a child. S/he is there, growing... now what? She's trying to figure that out. Trust me- she knows exactly the gravity of the situation she's in; she has to carry around the proof of it every day, unlike the child's father.
^5, Very true. I don't think many women realize that there's a chance you can get pregnant (regardless of the birth control used), therefore it's unwise to have sex (even if it's protected) with a man who has made no commitment towards you and can not support you or any children produced, if a pregnancy occurs.
The OP purports to be a nursing student, but somehow didn't understand that having sex (even with contraception) can result in pregnancy.
Did you see the point where she is fist fighting with her brother and her brother has been arrested? DO you know her brother well enough to know he isn't potentially homicidal?
I didn't read the entire thread, but I do know that she should avoid the shelter system at all cost, especially if she is pregnant.
Her brother may be deranged and violent, but she has no idea what she will face in the shelter. Again, many homeless individuals are mentally unstable.
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She should speak to a qualified person (professional) who helps abused women, not jerks who say sit there and potentially have your life endanger.
I agree; however, no one asked her to post on city data. When you post on a public forum you will get an array of different responses.
In case the OP doesn't know , all of the information is at her fingertips. She can simply conduct a search on google to find any and all available resources.
^5, Very true. I don't think many women realize that there's a chance you can get pregnant (regardless of the birth control used), therefore it's unwise to have sex (even if it's protected) with a man who has made no commitment towards you and can not support you or any children produced, if a pregnancy occurs.
The OP purports to be a nursing student, but somehow didn't understand that having sex (even with contraception) can result in pregnancy.
Unfortunately, our society has produced and reinforced the idea that contraception is "safe sex." It just isn't. It doesn't prevent the transmission of many STDs or conception. All ideas that avoid pregnancy, if they don't involve artificial forms of contraception, are belittled. Condoms have a tremendous failure rate. Hormonal methods are negative interferences with the makeup of women's health and have fairly robust failure rates as well, even if they are constant and "perfectly" used (no user-error like Depo-Provera shots.) Barrier methods have a failure rate. All of these methods work no better than natural methods like the Sympto-Thermal method... it's just that People-in-Charge don't think the average person is smart enough to retain the knowledge they NEED to make good decisions in their sex lives. They themselves probably don't know how their own bodies work. This should be a basic part of any health class or pubescent medical checkup but it.just.isn't. Men should know how it works too, if they intend to have sex with a woman. *That* is responsibility.
MOST women don't know how their reproductive systems work, regardless of their income/class level. I've spoken to OBs who aren't fully aware of natural methods... or have buried their heads up the rearends of pharma. reps.
My point is, she can hardly be blamed for not having a supportive family. Many women from all walks of life conceive "unexpectedly." Our society has taught them that using contraception is "safe." Full stop. This mother just has the unfortunate circumstance to have no familial support of any kind. If she did, she wouldn't have posted here... we wouldn't know she exists.
What I see is a rather apropos situation, considering that the society who taught her to think that having "safe" sex would actually prevent pregnancy will be fiscally supporting the fruits of their own [gravely errant] "education." At least for a little while, when she/they NEED it.
Going off on a tanget here, but what are the chances of a woman on the pill getting pregnant?
I read that is less than 10%.
In addition, if you demand that your boyfriend wears a condom I believe the chances are extremely low.
Coming from a disfunctional family with no means to support you is a bigger reason not to get pregnant.
I do feel bad for the OP, she's made a poor decision by allowing herself to be impregnated in her situation hopefully she gets through this and her baby is well taken care of.
Going off on a tanget here, but what are the chances of a woman on the pill getting pregnant?
I read that is less than 10%.
In addition, if you demand that your boyfriend wears a condom I believe the chances are extremely low.
The chances of pregnancy are very high for women who do not consistently take the pill each and every day, at the proper time. The pill is simply not a good method, unless the person who is taking it, doesn't skip any of the doses. If one forgets to take it for just one day, or takes it at a later time than usual, the likelihood of pregnancy is high.
I would never take the pill, because it can have life-long deleterious side effects (like increasing the risk of ovarian and/or breast cancer).
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Coming from a disfunctional family with no means to support you is a bigger reason not to get pregnant.
I do feel bad for the OP, she's made a poor decision by allowing herself to be impregnated in her situation hopefully she gets through this and her baby is well taken care of.
Many young women who are in "relationships" often get persuaded to have sex by the man in their life. A lot of people keep stating that she made a poor decision, but no one is looking at it from the standpoint that she probably engaged in sex, because she thought it was going to keep the guy interested. Another thing that many people don't consider is the very real reality that a number of men don't like using condoms on a consistent basis, especially when they are in relationships. Many prefer to put the birth control responsibilities solely on the woman, and forgo playing a major role in pregnancy prevention, by not using condoms each and every time.
Ultimately, more women and men have to be discerning and realize that when a child is conceived by people who have no means of supporting themselves, everyone will usually suffer (especially the child).
Last edited by CityGirl332; 08-14-2013 at 10:19 AM..
Unfortunately, our society has produced and reinforced the idea that contraception is "safe sex." It just isn't. It doesn't prevent the transmission of many STDs or conception. All ideas that avoid pregnancy, if they don't involve artificial forms of contraception, are belittled. Condoms have a tremendous failure rate. Hormonal methods are negative interferences with the makeup of women's health and have fairly robust failure rates as well, even if they are constant and "perfectly" used (no user-error like Depo-Provera shots.) Barrier methods have a failure rate. All of these methods work no better than natural methods like the Sympto-Thermal method... it's just that People-in-Charge don't think the average person is smart enough to retain the knowledge they NEED to make good decisions in their sex lives. They themselves probably don't know how their own bodies work. This should be a basic part of any health class or pubescent medical checkup but it.just.isn't. Men should know how it works too, if they intend to have sex with a woman. *That* is responsibility.
MOST women don't know how their reproductive systems work, regardless of their income/class level. I've spoken to OBs who aren't fully aware of natural methods... or have buried their heads up the rearends of pharma. reps.
My point is, she can hardly be blamed for not having a supportive family. Many women from all walks of life conceive "unexpectedly." Our society has taught them that using contraception is "safe." Full stop. This mother just has the unfortunate circumstance to have no familial support of any kind. If she did, she wouldn't have posted here... we wouldn't know she exists.
What I see is a rather apropos situation, considering that the society who taught her to think that having "safe" sex would actually prevent pregnancy will be fiscally supporting the fruits of their own [gravely errant] "education." At least for a little while, when she/they NEED it.
Oh please. Your misguided soapboxing is as lame as the complaints of "taxpayers" against one individual here. You can keep your noble paladin act. There is a need for personal responsibility education (even if ex-post facto - future bad decisions avoided) just as there is a need for a safety net. Your contribution to a societal notion that sh6t "just happens" and consequences somehow don't result from actions - codswallop. You're just as impressed with yourself as those here who only condem and have no sympathy.
Oh please. Your misguided soapboxing is as lame as the complaints of "taxpayers" against one individual here. You can keep your noble paladin act. There is a need for personal responsibility education (even if ex-post facto - future bad decisions avoided) just as there is a need for a safety net. Your contribution to a societal notion that sh6t "just happens" and consequences somehow don't result from actions - codswallop. You're just as impressed with yourself as those here who only condem and have no sympathy.
I don't believe the post was misguided. I think it was very factual. Society does glamorize sex and irresponsibility. There are plenty of community health centers in low income communities, but those centers often teach young girls that sex is perfectly natural and a good thing to engage in, as long as they use some form of birth control.
When people discuss abstinence or at least waiting until one is finished with their education and/or settled in their career, many will provide the counter argument that it's unrealistic and far better to get on the pill, or get a depo-provera shot. No one tells young teens and women that they are at increased risk for STDS and pregnancy when they engage in sex.
When I was a teen, I worked as a volunteer at a well known community family planning center. I couldn't believe how many young girls and women who used some form of birth control, later returned back to the clinic for an abortion. Some of these women would come back 3 or 4 times for additional abortions (despite being on some type of birth control).
Oh please. Your misguided soapboxing is as lame as the complaints of "taxpayers" against one individual here. You can keep your noble paladin act. There is a need for personal responsibility education (even if ex-post facto - future bad decisions avoided) just as there is a need for a safety net. Your contribution to a societal notion that sh6t "just happens" and consequences somehow don't result from actions - codswallop. You're just as impressed with yourself as those here who only condem and have no sympathy.
Not true. I'm a realist. She's pregnant and can't go back in time and change her actions; she has to deal with the situation she's in now. I just don't feel the need to browbeat her, considering the fact that she is - more than anyone - certainly aware of the predicament she's in...
Shi+ does happen. It doesn't "just happen." But the people who make those bad decisions are acutely aware of their implications, as soon as they begin to feel the effects of them. She is. Beating her up for something she already knows won't change her situation. You can tell that she knows by how defensive she is... she beats herself up more than any poster here.
The point is: She knows she needs to move on... she's asking for advice on how best to manage it.
The Sympto-Thermal method costs $5 (the cost of the basal-temp thermometer) for the duration of its battery. 2-3 years. The prevention rate, perfectly used, makes it about as effective as the most-effective, artificial birth control available, (short of the removal of reproductive organs), when it is also perfectly used. The failure rate is .4%. (The LOWEST FAILURE RATE EVER RECORDED, for condoms, is five times that.) There's no downside except having to abstain from sex during fertile periods. The upside? No hormonal interference in the woman's health, the balance of which is extremely delicate. No false sense of security. An insistence that her partner be as aware of her reproductive habits as she is, herself. The ability to avoid or achieve conception, at will, in any given month. <---That's responsibility. It's not SAFE sex; it's informed decision-making.
There's no money to be made, in "pushing" the Sympto-Thermal method... it's simply an awareness of how one's body works, which is something people should know anyway.
How can an individual be wholly responsible for their reproduction if they're not fully aware of how it works? (Well, you know, beyond insert Tab A into Slot B... Slot B bleeds every 4 weeks.<---also not always true. People should know why. Why should they know, even if they plan to use hormonal and/or barrier contraception? Because artificial contraception is based on the *assumption* that a woman's cycle is 28 days long.)
Last edited by proulxfamily; 08-14-2013 at 10:22 AM..
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, all of the information is at her fingertips. She can simply conduct a search on google to find any and all available resources.
