how to deal with a hardened Puerto Rican Woman from the bronx? (living in, roach)

[halfamazing]

(not saying all are hardened)

Although familiar with the hardened types being from NY and around Italians, Irish, Ricans, Dominicans, and being from the Caribbean myself, I have now developed a low tolerance for the "tough NY" attitude that one can expect dealing with the above groups. I suppose its due to living in other parts of the US and around the world- away from NY for a while. Im a bit more calm now can be a hot head when a female pushes my buttons.

I recently connected with a lady from the Bronx NY via FB and have a friend in common. We share similar interests and she manages a couple latin bands. She has been responsive so far with me and we plan on meeting on March 1st for the first time at an event but not as a date- mutual musical interests. Put it this way, it’s obvious in my chats that I am a bit interested as I have sent her good morning emails and compliments. She is not what some would consider a "hoodrat". However, as per her FB posts she has had some issues with men in her past and have dealt with some aggressive NYC bad boy types. She often posts quotes about love, being alone, and even wears a chain that says "trust no man". But she is has been really receptive to my approach and is so gorgeous. She is a mariah Carey look-alike. She hasn’t flirted though.

Since I haven’t dealt with her type in a long time and recently moved to DC closer to NY and will be meeting more of the NY tough types, I am trying to figure out if one showers hardened females with niceness to counter her negative pasts? (Not to say that hardness is always a result of negative relationships). On the other hand, naturally, I can be agressive, cocky and sarcastic at times without knowing but I don’t want to ruin it and touch a bad nerve with her. It doesn't work too well in DC - IMO.

(I am really not looking for the "be yourself" answers) Its more of how to break down the above described barrier which would then allow me to "be myself".

Any thoughts? Thanks!

[I_Love_LI_but]

How old is she? How old are you?

[NooYowkur81]

Being too nice is not going to work. So don't go that route. That's just going to lead you into the dreaded friend zone. Don't talk about previous relationships with this woman. You have to come off as the new interesting guy who is different. Don't sweat it too much. She might be the type who just picks men terribly for whatever reason often some kind of psychological daddy issue or hangup. If she is that type there is not much you can do.

[bluedog2]

Originally Posted by halfamazing

(not saying all are hardened)

Although familiar with the hardened types being from NY and around Italians, Irish, Ricans, Dominicans, and being from the Caribbean myself, I have now developed a low tolerance for the "tough NY" attitude that one can expect dealing with the above groups. I suppose its due to living in other parts of the US and around the world- away from NY for a while. Im a bit more calm now can be a hot head when a female pushes my buttons.

I recently connected with a lady from the Bronx NY via FB and have a friend in common. We share similar interests and she manages a couple latin bands. She has been responsive so far with me and we plan on meeting on March 1st for the first time at an event but not as a date- mutual musical interests. Put it this way, it’s obvious in my chats that I am a bit interested as I have sent her good morning emails and compliments. She is not what some would consider a "hoodrat". However, as per her FB posts she has had some issues with men in her past and have dealt with some aggressive NYC bad boy types. She often posts quotes about love, being alone, and even wears a chain that says "trust no man". But she is has been really receptive to my approach and is so gorgeous. She is a mariah Carey look-alike. She hasn’t flirted though.

Since I haven’t dealt with her type in a long time and recently moved to DC closer to NY and will be meeting more of the NY tough types, I am trying to figure out if one showers hardened females with niceness to counter her negative pasts? (Not to say that hardness is always a result of negative relationships). On the other hand, naturally, I can be agressive, cocky and sarcastic at times without knowing but I don’t want to ruin it and touch a bad nerve with her. It doesn't work too well in DC - IMO.

(I am really not looking for the "be yourself" answers) Its more of how to break down the above described barrier which would then allow me to "be myself".

Any thoughts? Thanks!

Yuck.

[bg7]

Originally Posted by NooYowkur81

Being too nice is not going to work. So don't go that route. That's just going to lead you into the dreaded friend zone. Don't talk about previous relationships with this woman. You have to come off as the new interesting guy who is different. Don't sweat it too much. She might be the type who just picks men terribly for whatever reason often some kind of pychological daddy issue or hangup. If she is that type there is not much you can do.

Yep - if she's already wearing the t-shirt or tattoo stating that she thinks men are a&hles its because she picks ....a&hles. She won't find non-a&hles interesting, its a psychological problem. She will perpetually look for a&hles who turn out to be...

Just be yourself, there's no point otherwise anyway. You can't maintain a facade for very long.

[NooYowkur81]

Originally Posted by bluedog2

Yuck.

bluedog2 I take it you don't like them tough and hardened? Lol, neither do I for the matter...

[halfamazing]

Originally Posted by I_Love_LI_but

How old is she? How old are you?

she is 39 and i am 36.

But i am interested in knowing how ages may play a role- not being sarcastic, just curious.

[halfamazing]

Originally Posted by NooYowkur81

bluedog2 I take it you don't like them tough and hardened? Lol, neither do I for the matter...

Yes, I know. the only reason why I haven't removed myself is because she has used to the words "awww, how so sweet"...

I don't know if its a trap..

[Jaydata]

If she is already hardened, then obviously she can't bent over for you. You have to do the bent over in the relationship.

[likeminas]

Is "tough NY" an euphemism for "hood" and "ghetto mamas"?

If that's the case, I can't help you brah.

I wouldn't touch one of those with a10 foot pole.