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Don't assume that if you move, your husband will make the same amount that he does in New York. Lower cost of living might also mean a lower salary. And if he has to 'prove' himself at a new facility in a new town, it might be a few years before he has a comparable salary.
Also, don't underestimate how your absence of a few years from the workforce (even for doing something as worthy as being a stay at home mom) can affect your career, even with your two degrees. Unless you keep up with all the innovations and changes in both fields, you will be starting at a disadvantage if/when you decide to re-enter the workforce.
I would suggest renting first before you buy.......The Orlando area of Florida is booming......and there are lots of plans for the near future, because of Disney.
I spend my winters just outside of Orlando, in the Clermont area, close to Davenport. Right now, you can rent a house for $1,200, per month, maybe 10 years' old, with four bedrooms, 3 baths, and a pool. Certainly, they are close to the neighbors, but this will allow you to compare for better areas around, and will help you choose the right destination. Lots of potential in these areas......I have been in the Solana and Tuscan Ridge, subdivisions, and I love them......If you drive through, you would be able to see the houses for rent, before you enlist a realtor........
Orlando has lots of cultural places......certainly, nothing compares to NYC, when it comes to the Arts. But, monetarily, you would be much better.......
The issue that I always found is that with warm weather comes lower wages......one has to pay for the sun, and like San Diego, Orlando may not pay as well as NYC........You cannot have it all.......Good-luck to you, and yours.....
Don't assume that if you move, your husband will make the same amount that he does in New York. Lower cost of living might also mean a lower salary. And if he has to 'prove' himself at a new facility in a new town, it might be a few years before he has a comparable salary.
Also, don't underestimate how your absence of a few years from the workforce (even for doing something as worthy as being a stay at home mom) can affect your career, even with your two degrees. Unless you keep up with all the innovations and changes in both fields, you will be starting at a disadvantage if/when you decide to re-enter the workforce.
Yes, but if a mother chooses to raise her children (as it was done for some time...) its her call.
Does your wife feel the same way? Biologically, women endure much more physical hardship than men do, in connection with the reproductive process. For some it's difficult to leave the child behind when that's all they can think of.
Yes, because the arrangement allowed her to stay in the workforce and connected with her professional network. Some of her closest friends and mentors were at work. As the kids have grown and become less dependent, she was able to maintain satisfaction both in and out of the house.
I'm here to challenge OP's all-or-nothing, black-and-white thinking.
What I did, instead of daycare, was create a DIY co-operative arrangement with a neighbor who had a baby the same year. We took turns, alternating days. One stayed home with both babes, while the other did a workday, then we flipped the duties. We held jobs where that was possible. Neither of us had even one relative in the area to help with any childcare, which was really brutal, but fortunately we had hardworking husbands, as you do, to cover bills. Of course we lived frugally.
When our two grew old enough for preschool, we brought in two more moms to the co-op, then interviewed and hired a college student in Early Childhood Education to make a nursery school coop for 4 kids in our own places, 3x/week, again alternating addresses and pooling money to pay the college girl.
This got us through until Kindergarten. NYC now has universal pre-K, so you could do it for a year less and just power through the first four years. It'll keep you from nannying and preschools, which apparently troubles you. It avoids having a hole in your resume, so when you gear back up to work fulltime, you have some traction.
Regarding your feeling you must get a 2BR: I stayed in an apartment of one young couple (airbnb) who were raising their only child in a 1-BR apartment. The child sleeps on the living room couch; toys and books are well-organized on a living room bookshelf with bins. After the child goes to sleep, the couple pulls back into their bedroom for the evening.
Last edited by BrightRabbit; 02-17-2015 at 06:52 PM..
I'd try to keep my foot in the door with work if possible, but I do have some friends that were out of the work force for many years (I'd say at least 10) and were able to jump back in when they were ready (due to connections). A couple of other friends have not be able to find work that they are happy with when they wanted to get back in.
I also found that working full time didn't give me enough time with the kids, and was able to arrange 20-30 hrs per week for years. It wasn't a business conducive for part time work and eventually I started my own business, and then added working part time for someone else. It's still hard to balance--sometimes I have too much work and sometimes not enough. Even though my oldest is now 14, I still have a hard time imagining working full time for someone else. My husband has no flexibility at his job and my son has had some issues that require more doctor appts than average. Then there are sick kids, school events, etc.
I'm very glad to have had some extra time to spend with both my kids when they were little, but if I could do it again, I'd try to plan a field where flexibility or less than full time is more the norm--maybe speech or occupational therapy...We moved to the Bronx years ago to save money on housing and for us it has worked out for us. As someone else said, whatever you do there will surely be sacrifices, whether you stay here or go, work or stay home. Good luck.
I'm here to challenge OP's all-or-nothing, black-and-white thinking.
What I did, instead of daycare, was create a DIY co-operative arrangement with a neighbor who had a baby the same year. We took turns, alternating days. One stayed home with both babes, while the other did a workday, then we flipped the duties. We held jobs where that was possible. Neither of us had even one relative in the area to help with any childcare, which was really brutal, but fortunately we had hardworking husbands, as you do, to cover bills. Of course we lived frugally.
When our two grew old enough for preschool, we brought in two more moms to the co-op, then interviewed and hired a college student in Early Childhood Education to make a nursery school coop for 4 kids in our own places, 3x/week, again alternating addresses and pooling money to pay the college girl.
This got us through until Kindergarten. NYC now has universal pre-K, so you could do it for a year less and just power through the first four years. It'll keep you from nannying and preschools, which apparently troubles you. It avoids having a hole in your resume, so when you gear back up to work fulltime, you have some traction.
Regarding your feeling you must get a 2BR: I stayed in an apartment of one young couple (airbnb) who were raising their only child in a 1-BR apartment. The child sleeps on the living room couch; toys and books are well-organized on a living room bookshelf with bins. After the child goes to sleep, the couple pulls back into their bedroom for the evening.
If a poster asks a simple question, she deserves a simple answer.
Not everyone has to be educated to follow in our footsteps. Different strokes for different folks.
Sometimes, changing the whole environment is best. But, we need to be aware of what we gain and what we may lose.
To keep the pool of "educated genes" flowing, educated parents need to plan to have at least two children for the balance of the entire population to ensure that civilization won't move backwards...
Atalanta GA is such an affordable "big city" outside NYC and there are plenty of family friendly neighborhoods of all kinds suiting ppl from different backgrounds. Tons of places to go spend time with little ones; a large variety of food selections; not as many museums but there are a few nice ones where ppl can walk around breading fresh air instead of air just let out from some one next to you like here in nyc; movie theaters are much more up to date than those here in nyc; one income supports all; some real nice bbq places at a fraction of what you would pay here in nyc. It does get quiet after 9pm usually, but with a little one coming, what else could you plan to do after 9 pm but to hit the bed? You can spend your weekends either home alone, or organize house parities or block parties, which is hard to do here in a 1-br apt in nyc. It is a different type of living, probably better for raising families on a budget at a much lower level of stress and if you are an outgoing person you should have no difficulty in making friends there at all. I do not like the warm/hot weather but that is a no issue for you probably. Plus, its proximity to nyc makes it possible to back to visit without breaking the bank.
It's definitely more affordable to live in Atlanta, but the job market for professional employment is not that good, unless you work in tech or have some serious employment connections.
Don't you have any family in NYC that you will moving away from? If you're in a new city with no friends or family, you won't even be able to take a night off if you needed a break unless you get a nanny. Personally I wouldn't mind moving to another city because as much as I love New York, I'm not tied to this place. However, having my mother and mother-in-law available to take care of my daughter is invaluable.
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