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Old 07-12-2015, 02:08 PM
 
25,556 posts, read 23,854,281 times
Reputation: 10119

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Quote:
Originally Posted by LS013 View Post
Like I said before, I'm NOT loosing sleep over it or bitter, I'm just stating the obvious truth that everyone for whatever reason (I guess to be PC) wants to ignore.
No one is ignoring it.

Everyone is just telling you to stop whining and move on to those who do like you for whatever reasons.
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Old 07-12-2015, 02:14 PM
 
25,556 posts, read 23,854,281 times
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In order to claim victimization, people on this forum are ignoring Asians who like Blacks (for whatever reasons), whites who like Blacks (for whatever reasons) or people of other races who like Blacks just to go on about their own light skinned/dark skinned stupidity.

I tend to mainly be interested in people of high levels of education and that is a pretty diverse group of people. Of course in that pool there are lots of whites, Asians, Hispanics, Blacks, etc. I don't have a problem.

I have had plenty of non Blacks and Blacks interested in me.

While there is no one person who appeals to everyone, a reasonably attractive intelligent person will get what they want. Someone who isn't all that won't.

You see if a Black gay male told me he would never do another gay Black male (and yes I had a friend like that) I actually didn't care about it at all. I get mine, so he can do whatever he wants to with his life.

Be honest, if you were really able to get laid or have a man or relationship of your own you would not care at all about other people's preferences. It wouldn't phase you. Certain people here are screaming out of JEALOUSY and INSECURITY!
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Old 07-12-2015, 02:14 PM
 
297 posts, read 293,003 times
Reputation: 370
Quote:
Originally Posted by LS013 View Post
If you look at the vast majority of Black couples, the woman is lighter than the man (my parents being one), or the same complexion. You don't see Black couples where the man is lighter than the woman as often for a reason.
I happen to be a honey brown color, but I have seen this time and time again and I often comment on colorism amongst black males.

Quote:
Look, growing up as a dark skinned Black women, you have to have tough skin. I have to believe I'm awesome and beautiful, because it's not like I'm gonna hear others tell me that with as much frequency as my lighter skinned or non-Black counterparts. Does that mean that I'm moping at home beating myself up thinking that no one will ever love me or be with me because I'm a dark skinned Black woman? Hell no! I know damn well I can have a man who honors and respects me for WHO I AM. But I'd be stupid and living in a fantasy to try to deny or ignore that in some circles, some Black men would not even give me the time of day because they're sipping the Koolaid of White supremacy that places a Eurocentric image of femininity as the ideal woman.
I think this is primarily an American phenomenon. Dark black women in other nations don't seem to be as impacted by colorism. I think it's because in Europe and Latin America, dark women are not often featured in the media or in print ads. The U.S. does feature dark women, but most are always portrayed as single, loud, aggressive, angry etc.

I often get a little peeved at some dark actresses for accepting degrading, harmful roles, because these roles ultimately influence how all dark American women are often perceived.
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Old 07-12-2015, 02:17 PM
 
Location: NYC
2,223 posts, read 5,337,502 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NyWriterdude View Post
No one is ignoring it.

Everyone is just telling you to stop whining and move on to those who do like you for whatever reasons.
I acknowledge everything she said because I have experienced it all, and for many more years than she has. I've just learned to accept that it is what it is and stay away from people who don't care about me.
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Old 07-12-2015, 02:24 PM
 
2,691 posts, read 4,315,785 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NyWriterdude View Post
No that is not why I don't see it.

I am Black and I am gay,and I honestly mostly interact with non Blacks both at work, socially, and who I hook up with.

Colorism in the Black community is moot to me when I'm around non Blacks a lot, who are not going to go out of their way to distinguish between "light" skinned Blacks and dark skinned Blacks.

I actually have hooked up and dated with men of all races. But at least as far as gay bars in Manhattan go, where there are FEW Blacks WHO has time for stupid BS like this one does or doesn't like light skinned people.
We were talking about black men dating women. Colorism in these examples applies to heterosexual interactions that could result in an offspring. The colorism comes into play because genetically mixing with a lighter person would usually resut in lighter skinned offspring. Because of current issues around colorism, having a lighter offspring could be seen as an advantage.
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Old 07-12-2015, 02:29 PM
 
2,678 posts, read 1,691,267 times
Reputation: 1045
Quote:
Originally Posted by NyWriterdude View Post
In order to claim victimization, people on this forum are ignoring Asians who like Blacks (for whatever reasons), whites who like Blacks (for whatever reasons) or people of other races who like Blacks just to go on about their own light skinned/dark skinned stupidity.

I tend to mainly be interested in people of high levels of education and that is a pretty diverse group of people. Of course in that pool there are lots of whites, Asians, Hispanics, Blacks, etc. I don't have a problem.

I have had plenty of non Blacks and Blacks interested in me.

While there is no one person who appeals to everyone, a reasonably attractive intelligent person will get what they want. Someone who isn't all that won't.

You see if a Black gay male told me he would never do another gay Black male (and yes I had a friend like that) I actually didn't care about it at all. I get mine, so he can do whatever he wants to with his life.

Be honest, if you were really able to get laid or have a man or relationship of your own you would not care at all about other people's preferences. It wouldn't phase you. Certain people here are screaming out of JEALOUSY and INSECURITY!
Nothing on this thread is about victimization.

I'm just telling what another black male has told me regarding preference and dating. After all, this thread is about interracial dating.

Maybe it's something you'd rather not deal with or admit but that type of pathology does exist among some black males. That's all I'm saying.
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Old 07-12-2015, 02:32 PM
 
2,678 posts, read 1,691,267 times
Reputation: 1045
Quote:
Originally Posted by IveHadEnough25 View Post
Im a black man who will only date outside my race or date a mixed black if she looks more like her other side.

Excuse me if i dont want to date some loud mouthed nappy headed black girl with insecurity issues and a major attitude problem who wont go swimming because she cant screw up her perm and weave job and would turn pitch black if we ever laid out at the beach.

I prefer light/white latinas because they have big butts and curves with real hair and theyre way more feminine. I also dont want my daughter to ever feel inferior and unliked like full black girls do growing up. So my children will be mixed and light. I already get mistaken for dominican and speak spanish, so i dont associate with african american women. Theres no need to.

Have fun with white men, because we dont want you either.
So basic lol. Don't feed the troll.
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Old 07-12-2015, 02:33 PM
 
297 posts, read 293,003 times
Reputation: 370
Quote:
Originally Posted by Italian_Stallion View Post
I have a black friend like this. Hes a successful guy who owns a number of businesses. Except he ignores black women all together. He calls them monkeys, talks **** about their hair..and its like dude..they look like you lol. Id call that self hate. If a full black girl approaches him in a club he will outright act as if she isnt there and walk away
This is what I don't understand, how is it that these guys can say the most hateful comments about black women, yet feel good about themselves, as black men?

It would be one thing if they just stated, I happen to like mixed/light or white women, but many of them go out of their way to berate the very women who share their color.

I actually feel sorry for those that hate themselves. I can't imagine what it must be like to hate your own skin, facial features, and race.
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Old 07-12-2015, 02:48 PM
 
2,691 posts, read 4,315,785 times
Reputation: 2311
NYWriterdude apparently is just going to overlook all of the first hand commentary on this thread from black women as well as my previous post where I state that you can look up books, articles and documentaries that go beyond it being "simply preference" that some guys have for light skinned black women. Carry on then and argue against everything that has been researched, documented and concluded that it legitimately happens.

But to bring this back on topic to the OP, someone mentioned Europen white guys and I do find that European white guys are much more open to dating black women than American white guys. I think it's because the history of racism against blacks in Europe isn't the same as it is in the U.S. I'm dating a European guy (and no, it's not a preference, I was with a black guy for years before him) but I've also noticed that when I'm in Europe I pretty much have to beat the white guys off with a stick. They are considerably more forward with their interest and approach. White guys in NYC might be interested in you but I think there is some level of apprehension in coming up to you because of our race history in the U.S.
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Old 07-12-2015, 02:53 PM
 
25,556 posts, read 23,854,281 times
Reputation: 10119
Quote:
Originally Posted by Relaxx View Post
Nothing on this thread is about victimization.

I'm just telling what another black male has told me regarding preference and dating. After all, this thread is about interracial dating.

Maybe it's something you'd rather not deal with or admit but that type of pathology does exist among some black males. That's all I'm saying.
So if it's just about interracial dating why are you call the preference of a particular Black male pathological? It's his personal preference that he is entitled to. And everyone has their preferences.

And while appearance is pretty important in dating, SO IS MONEY.

A dark skinned person with a GOOD JOB will not only get more dates ,but will get better treatment that a ghetto light skinned person working at McDonalds.

Accomplished dark skinned Black women have no problem getting husbands (Whoopi Goldberg, Iman, Alfre Woodward, Michelle Obama who happens to be darker than Barack, Ursula Burns, etc).

I'm going to say money and the state of your career trumps your color when looking for marriage or a long term relationship.

You don't have to be rich, but the underclass that has no money and no stability has a much harder time with lasting relationships for those reasons. Mommy and daddy in and out of jail, kids going to foster care or with other relatives, etc.
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