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But what about white people who prefer to only date Blacks or Hispanics, or Asians who only date non Asians?
It's not necessarily self hatred. .
If a black man/woman is attracted to a non black man/woman because s/he thinks that s/he is exotic, is attracted to the difference, or finds engaging with other cultures to be interesting, there is nothing wrong with that. And in fact non blacks who are attracted to blacks (hopefully) are in it for these reasons.
When a black man or woman says that s/he ONLY dates non blacks and that s/he will NEVER date a black person, that is different. Especially when they completely disparage all blacks. This attitude is because they are filled with self hatred about who they are, and reject it.
So you cannot equate the two attitudes.
And I must say that I feel sorry for the non black who falls in love with the self loathing black, because people who hate who they are and where they come from, usually have a range of issues. The reality is that the self loathing black doesn't see the individual who happens to be non black. They see the person's hair, skin color, facial features, or other attributes which mark them as non black. These people are being USED, and I have seen people suffer as a result of this.
I happen to be a honey brown color, but I have seen this time and time again and I often comment on colorism amongst black males.
I think this is primarily an American phenomenon. Dark black women in other nations don't seem to be as impacted by colorism. .
Dark women in Latin America are considered ugly, good to be maids and for use as sexual objects. That is why they aren't featured in ads. I am also not aware that black women in US ads are always in a negative light. Why would any one pitching a product use some one who will generate a negative reaction?
And in Europe most black men don't spend one second with black women, and not every white man is into black women. So black women have issues over there too.
Speak to UK black women about the fact that more than 50% of the black men born in the UK are with non black women, but only about 30% of the black women are with non black men.
This is silly and is off topic. Lets look at this at an NYC perspective.
These black women with the curly afro hair are real hot and very attractive. I remember some years ago in the highline I saw an hit Sudanese / nubian woman sitting by herself. I went to go speak to her but as soon as I did that her bearded white boyfriend came out of the bushes.
Here is the deal. There is no difference between the % of college and non college educated black men getting MARRIED (because I think that is the ultimate goal) to non black women.
However college educated black women are MORE likely to intermarry than is true for their non college counterparts. Part of it is that more black women are graduated college and entering professional occupations than is true for black men. So they have to open up their options, when compared to less educated black women, who have a comparably larger pool of black men to select.
Women don't marry down, and men don't marry up, while the opposite is considered acceptable, up to a point.
Now I happen to know loads of dark skinned, and not especially attractive black women married to black men, so I think that there is some hysterics happening here. Picking up some one at a club to bang them doesn't necessarily lead to marriage. Indeed several light skinned black women report being seen as a sex trophy and not necessarily as marriage material.
Black women's main problem is that the graduate college at more than double the rate that black men are. It is the professional black women who are lonely. Not the ghetto black females.
If a black man/woman is attracted to a non black man/woman because s/he thinks that s/he is exotic, is attracted to the difference, or finds engaging with other cultures to be interesting, there is nothing wrong with that. And in fact non blacks who are attracted to blacks (hopefully) are in it for these reasons.
When a black man or woman says that s/he ONLY dates non blacks and that s/he will NEVER date a black person, that is different. Especially when they completely disparage all blacks. This attitude is because they are filled with self hatred about who they are, and reject it.
So you cannot equate the two attitudes.
And I must say that I feel sorry for the non black who falls in love with the self loathing black, because people who hate who they are and where they come from, usually have a range of issues. The reality is that the self loathing black doesn't see the individual who happens to be non black. They see the person's hair, skin color, facial features, or other attributes which mark them as non black. These people are being USED, and I have seen people suffer as a result of this.
You provided depth and clarity surrounding the classic self hating negro. Great post.
Also much of the pathology is subconscious thinking so it's easy to see why they firmly believe what they do.
Here is the deal. There is no difference between the % of college and non college educated black men getting MARRIED (because I think that is the ultimate goal) to non black women.
However college educated black women are MORE likely to intermarry than is true for their non college counterparts. Part of it is that more black women are graduated college and entering professional occupations than is true for black men. So they have to open up their options, when compared to less educated black women, who have a comparably larger pool of black men to select.
Women don't marry down, and men don't marry up, while the opposite is considered acceptable, up to a point.
Now I happen to know loads of dark skinned, and not especially attractive black women married to black men, so I think that there is some hysterics happening here. Picking up some one at a club to bang them doesn't necessarily lead to marriage. Indeed several light skinned black women report being seen as a sex trophy and not necessarily as marriage material.
Black women's main problem is that the graduate college at more than double the rate that black men are. It is the professional black women who are lonely. Not the ghetto black females.
Exactly. Good points and obviously since there are still lots of dark skinned people in the world clearly many dark skinned people find each other attractive.
If a black man/woman is attracted to a non black man/woman because s/he thinks that s/he is exotic, is attracted to the difference, or finds engaging with other cultures to be interesting, there is nothing wrong with that. And in fact non blacks who are attracted to blacks (hopefully) are in it for these reasons.
When a black man or woman says that s/he ONLY dates non blacks and that s/he will NEVER date a black person, that is different. Especially when they completely disparage all blacks. This attitude is because they are filled with self hatred about who they are, and reject it.
So you cannot equate the two attitudes.
And I must say that I feel sorry for the non black who falls in love with the self loathing black, because people who hate who they are and where they come from, usually have a range of issues. The reality is that the self loathing black doesn't see the individual who happens to be non black. They see the person's hair, skin color, facial features, or other attributes which mark them as non black. These people are being USED, and I have seen people suffer as a result of this.
I have people of other races to say that they never date whatever race they are a member of. It's really up to people in the relationship to find out what works for them and find people at their level.
Exactly. Good points and obviously since there are still lots of dark skinned people in the world clearly many dark skinned people find each other attractive.
And I felt that the point had to be made that being horny about some one in a club and asking them to dance doesn't rise to getting married to them. Yet so often these are the examples given.
In addition one must also face the fact that men of every race carry more melanin than do women of the same race. There are more mid/light toned black women than there are black men.
So it stands to reason that black men will usually have wives which are lighter skinned than they are. But then the same goes for most white men, unless they happened to be melanin challenged red haired Irish men, who will see going out on a hot day as a serious health risk.
There really aren't a huge number of light skinned African American women, and so most black men are married to mid or darker black women, given that even the young black make cohort that was recently married, still select black women 75% of the time. And this is as true for the black college educated male as it is for those who didn't graduate college.
The REAL issue which black women need to address is why are so few black men graduating college when compared to black women? In fact last year 12% of the females who graduated college were black, meaning that the gap between black and white women is being eliminated. Black men now have the LOWEST college graduation rate of any group. Even beginning to fall behind Hispanic men.
Here is the deal. There is no difference between the % of college and non college educated black men getting MARRIED (because I think that is the ultimate goal) to non black women.
However college educated black women are MORE likely to intermarry than is true for their non college counterparts. Part of it is that more black women are graduated college and entering professional occupations than is true for black men. So they have to open up their options, when compared to less educated black women, who have a comparably larger pool of black men to select.
Women don't marry down, and men don't marry up, while the opposite is considered acceptable, up to a point.
Now I happen to know loads of dark skinned, and not especially attractive black women married to black men, so I think that there is some hysterics happening here. Picking up some one at a club to bang them doesn't necessarily lead to marriage. Indeed several light skinned black women report being seen as a sex trophy and not necessarily as marriage material.
Black women's main problem is that the graduate college at more than double the rate that black men are. It is the professional black women who are lonely. Not the ghetto black females.
So all professional Black women form a collective with one mind and they are all lonely regardless of looks, personality, or money?
Blacks are the borg, there is no difference between them apparently! No individuality, no personality, no names. I guess all Blacks look the same too!
You cannot say professional Black women are lonely, because there are plenty of married professional Black women and many who have good social and professional lives. Even if professional Black women are disproportionately unmarried, that does not translate to them being "lonely" and you certainly shouldn't present it as such. Looking at your statements here an ignorant person could jump to the conclusion that a professional Black woman could never get laid, a relationship, or get married.
Men do marry up. Hillary made more money than Bill till he became President. Kanye married into a Hollywood celebrity family.
I have people of other races to say that they never date whatever race they are a member of. It's really up to people in the relationship to find out what works for them and find people at their level.
And what is important will be the reason for it. I saw interracial dating discussed on one of those talk shows.
The black, Hispanic, Jewish, and Asian men had to justify their preferences for women outside their group by disparaging women from WITHIN their group. That to me suggests some self loathing, given that they were most often raised by women from within that group, so clearly impacted by what ever characteristics that these women have.
A WASP man was also interviewed. He liked black women because he just happened to like black women. But he also liked many aspects of black culture, and he liked the vibrancy which he saw among blacks. This was NOTHING to do with him disparaging WASP women. Maybe he feels that he has lived all of his life as a WASP and now wants something new.
So it gets to the reason. A black man who loves a Japanese woman, because he finds Japanese culture fascinating (I am speaking of a real example) is different from another who lusts after Asian women, because he hates black women.
The first man respects the woman, because he respects and his fascinated by her culture. The second just lusts for the long straight and shiny hair, and maybe some stereotypical notion that all Asian females are docile. He will just as easily lust after a Latina, if she has the right hair. Its lust, and not respect.
But I do agree that to whine about the fact that SOME black men are color struck is silly. If they are they are, and that will not change. If they like the exotic, or they just hate all black people (including themselves) then who will want such an injured soul. 75% of black men marry black women, and most will marry a dark or mid toned black woman, because that is what most black people living in the USA are.
And I felt that the point had to be made that being horny about some one in a club and asking them to dance doesn't rise to getting married to them. Yet so often these are the examples given.
In addition one must also face the fact that men of every race carry more melanin than do women of the same race. There are more mid/light toned black women than there are black men.
So it stands to reason that black men will usually have wives which are lighter skinned than they are. But then the same goes for most white men, unless they happened to be melanin challenged red haired Irish men, who will see going out on a hot day as a serious health risk.
There really aren't a huge number of light skinned African American women, and so most black men are married to mid or darker black women, given that even the young black make cohort that was recently married, still select black women 75% of the time. And this is as true for the black college educated male as it is for those who didn't graduate college.
The REAL issue which black women need to address is why are so few black men graduating college when compared to black women? In fact last year 12% of the females who graduated college were black, meaning that the gap between black and white women is being eliminated. Black men now have the LOWEST college graduation rate of any group. Even beginning to fall behind Hispanic men.
Perhaps it is the mass incarceration? Hard to graduate from college when you're in jail.
Some of it maybe historical. Not to long ago Black men were going to do ****ty labor jobs (many still do). I think families didn't encourage their sons to do as well as they could have. Plus since girls stayed at home more, they were already better readers. I think this affected graduation rates, and of who could apply to college. Guys may have been conditioned to do more "guy" stuff and have more "guy" attitudes. By guy I mean not really masculine, but pushed in a direction of low end physical/mule labor and conditioned to do it from an early age.
I agree with you that there arent' a huge number of light skinned African American women, and that most Black men are married to or have kids with medium and darker Black women.
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