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I am confused and super bored and thinking of moving out of NYC but not sure where. I have also posted this in the other sections of the forum to help me take my decision.
Here is my situation.
I am 28 years old (Male) single living in NYC(Manhattan) in a doorman building for the past 8 years. I rent a studio which is about 480 square feet. I pay $2500 which includes gym and a decent size pool. I pay around $1000/year in tips and etc charges to my building personnel(porters, doorman, maid, Christmas).
I have a great job ($$$$$$+bonus) only 15 min train ride from my apartment. The job offers me flexible hours which means I can work 4 days (35 hours per week).
After all of these perks I am bored, confused and some time frustrated. Initially I enjoyed NYC but now it gets on my nerves.
WHY?
Quality of life.
*Dinner for two($60 on average including drinks)
*Expensive Night outs ($200pp Friday and Sat with couple of friends in a decent club/bar around Meat Packing Dist)
*On average more pretentious people and snobs..
*Less intimate(Women)relationships on average(else where 8/10)
*Stressful
*Fast pace (Time flies)
*Feel bored even having a circle of friends and things to do.
I thought I just needed a vacation. After taking few months off traveling to other cities domestic and international I found out that the quality of life (if I spend the same amount every month) is far better else where. This is only true if I find a job with the same salary, which is difficult to find in those cities including Miami.
I am planning to relocate to Miami or some other state and commute every week to NYC (Mon-Thur). My company could pay me for travel and other expenses for NYC(atleast a part of it) and I will be working 4 days per week.
My Monthly budget could be any where from $3500 to $4000. Which city has a better quality of life with this budget?
P.S' I am not planning to save money or lower my living standards. I want better quality of life with the same amount of money I spent each month.
Honestly, nobody on here can tell you what you should do. We can offer you opinions on which city has better quality of life for the budget, but that doesn't answer how easy it would be to get that salary in Miami, and would only be opinion, since I would never live in Miami but others think the quality of life there is much better since it's not cold and some things are cheaper. But the quality of life is always better when you are on vacation, and if you had to take a pay cut it might not be so great.
It does not seem like you really need to leave NY to get away from your problem. You say you're tired of pretentious people and things cost too much, but then you talk about hanging out in the Meatpacking district. Dude, I hate pretentious so I don't go out there. You could go out elsewhere, or if you're not fulfilled, don't go out to clubs and bars twice a week. Do something else.
If you are bored in NYC, the problem might be deeper since there is something for every taste here. You're just not doing things that satisfy you on a deeper level. You might have fallen into a rut and you can get out of it without moving. If you move to Miami, it will be the pretentious people at the expensive South Beach clubs. Just a suggestion, look inwards at what you really want, what kinds of relationships you really want, and whether you're doing the day-to-day in a way that is compatible with that. You talk about not wanting to decrease material standard of living, which is fine, but don't let that be a trap. Just do what you genuinely enjoy doing, and don't feel deprived if it happens to cost less. No shame there. Even Citizen Kane ultimately cared about a sled from the simpler days.
You think your quality of life will improve if you move to Miami and have to work 4 days a week in NYC? I don't get it.
I think Holden's right - you need to look inside, not outside. Your life lacks meaning right now, and that's not the fault of the location. I'm not saying it's your fault, either. It just sounds like success (or at least a job making lots of money) has come easily and quickly for you and you don't feel challenged. You're already "making it" so everything is boring.
I think a personal/professional coach could be helpful for you. It's not therapy, it's just someone who will help you look at your life and try to help you find the right direction.
I understand how NYC can get to you. But this statement "I want better quality of life with the same amount of money I spent each month." is what everyone in this area wants. People live in and around NYC for money. No one really wants to be here. Everyone I know wants an estate in the country or to move away somewhere tropical.
Visiting another country or city always feels amazing. Its something new. But you only feel that way because its 'someplace new'. Think about when people vacation to NYC and see it for the first time. They are probably amazed and think its the greatest.
I understand how NYC can get to you. But this statement "I want better quality of life with the same amount of money I spent each month." is what everyone in this area wants. People live in and around NYC for money. No one really wants to be here. Everyone I know wants an estate in the country or to move away somewhere tropical.
Visiting another country or city always feels amazing. Its something new. But you only feel that way because its 'someplace new'. Think about when people vacation to NYC and see it for the first time. They are probably amazed and think its the greatest.
Actually, there are plenty of filthy-rich New Yorkers who think this is the greatest place on earth. And there are plenty of others who are not filthy rich who choose to be here because they love it, or at least find that the positives outweigh the negatives.
So don't speak for everyone, Mr. "No one really wants to be here."
Sounds like a non-NY native who feels "stuck" in Manhattan when the whole "NYC" novelty wears off. Are you from a more rural area or the south/midwest? If so its alright, the crampedness of Manhattan can be overwhelming after a certain point. I enjoy Manhattan in small doses, but I dont get on here and share my anti-Manhattan opinions for nothing. I do have my good reasons for being pro-outerborough NY. Id like to help you with some ideas, since it seems like your a good person who doesnt fall under the Manhattanite label with regard to ego and materialism.
Here are some options:
-Move to Long Beach or Belmar, NJ and relax by the beach year round. You get the watersports during the 3-4 warm months a year, but you can still be about an hour by train to Penn Station (1hr 30min for Belmar). Your salary gets you a mortgage on a nice house.
-Move to a normal NJ or LI town where its cheap, and you dont have to spend ridiculous amounts of $ to stand/sit at a bar/club. Put the money into a house and a droptop bmw. Being away from Manhattan, you can do things in the community type environment and surround yourself with good people. When you feel like indulging, take the 30-60 min trip to Manhattan for the weekend night. Close to work too.
-Move to Philly, Boston, Providence and you are only a few hours away. Philly is dirt cheap meaning you can have a nice penthouse or brownstone in Center City, 70 min away by amtrak, people are less arrogant than Manhattan (exception: Eagles football). You can spend like Jay-Z in these places compared to Manhattan prices.
I love Miami but it is ridiculous to commute weekly. That will make your life worse.
After all of these perks I am bored, confused and some time frustrated. Initially I enjoyed NYC but now it gets on my nerves.
WHY?
Quality of life.
*Dinner for two($60 on average including drinks)
*Expensive Night outs ($200pp Friday and Sat with couple of friends in a decent club/bar around Meat Packing Dist)
*On average more pretentious people and snobs..
*Less intimate(Women)relationships on average(else where 8/10)
*Stressful
*Fast pace (Time flies)
*Feel bored even having a circle of friends and things to do.
What did you expect from Manhattan? Expensive, snobs, flighty women, and no time to smell the flowers. Sounds like you need to move to a down to earth place.
The alternative is to get some down to earth girlfriends. It'll make all the Manhattan nonsense a little less annoying. You'll have to do a lot of searching though.
Personally, Manhattan is the girl to fool around with when you're young, but Manhattan is not the girl you marry.
Thanks to all for posting your replies and suggestions.
Some say I am bored or I might be in a rut. Some might think I have some personnel issues and need some therapy to find happiness. I am not criticizing any one but just wanted to tell my side of the story. I don't want to be philosophical either, I know you can't buy happiness and all.
I wanted to improve the quality of my life. Which is subjective and could differ from person to person. For me, I listed few things in my original post. I have lived in NYC and I know it's ONE of best city in the world. But also overrated.
I never said I hate Manhattan. I love my life but I just want more out of it.
Holden125---> You say you're tired of pretentious people and things cost too much, but then you talk about hanging out in the Meatpacking district. Dude, I hate pretentious so I don't go out there
The reason I hangout in Meat packing is for good looking women. You can't see that many any where else in the city. I know, some are fake, pretentious and snob but looks are important for everyone If you know what I mean.
Henna---> (It just sounds like success (or at least a job making lots of money) has come easily and quickly for you and you don't feel challenged. You're already "making it" so everything is boring) I worked really hard to get to this point of my life and working harder to get the best out of it. This research is an example
AceRock-->The alternative is to get some down to earth girlfriends.
Personally, Manhattan is the girl to fool around with when you're young, but Manhattan is not the girl you marry.
I don't have any plans to get marry any time soon and have my fair share of women in the city. I tried having down to earth and nice GF while compromising lot of things but honestly, it does not work either. Physical attraction is very important as well as personality.
Holden125---> You say you're tired of pretentious people and things cost too much, but then you talk about hanging out in the Meatpacking district. Dude, I hate pretentious so I don't go out there
The reason I hangout in Meat packing is for good looking women. You can't see that many any where else in the city. I know, some are fake, pretentious and snob but looks are important for everyone If you know what I mean.
The Meatpacking is not the only place in the city with good looking women. I've got to disagree. In any event, all the good looking women you're hanging out with are not satisfying you. You are tired of the scene but don't want to give it up. I personally gave it up since it didn't do for me what I thought it might. It was ultimately shallow, which I think you feel as well. So maybe scale it back on your looks requirements just a bit, or look elsewhere for someone who is gorgeous but also has some substance.
I don't know you at all, but a benefit of airing your thoughts on here is that you get a different perspective from total strangers who might think differently from the people you're around all the time, and I'm willing to make suggestions. It just sounds like you have a lifestyle you don't enjoy all that much, but don't want to give up. It's tough if you want to be attracted to someone but feel the only way to get that is to spend your time in unfulfilling ways. Could it be that you are using a model-good-looks standard to erect barriers to a deeper connection with someone real because you don't feel ready for the commitment?
I understand how NYC can get to you. But this statement "I want better quality of life with the same amount of money I spent each month." is what everyone in this area wants. People live in and around NYC for money. No one really wants to be here. Everyone I know wants an estate in the country or to move away somewhere tropical.
Visiting another country or city always feels amazing. Its something new. But you only feel that way because its 'someplace new'. Think about when people vacation to NYC and see it for the first time. They are probably amazed and think its the greatest.
LOL.
Is this a joke? I don't live in New York, but everybody I know who lives in New York who would rather die than move out of New York. They all act as if life ends at the Lincoln Tunnel. You must have a bunch of pathetic and miserable friends if they all think that way, NYC is simply the most desirable area in the country.
Mr. Ambitious, maybe you should try a suburb in Connecticut? Have you been to Greenwich? Or maybe Westchester. I would avoid Miami at all costs, and I'm sure you'd get sick of it quick.
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and thinking of moving out of NYC but not sure where. I have also posted this in the other sections of the forum to help me take my decision. 
