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Why the need for the snarky comments? What have I done to you to warrant this level of disrespect?
You created an account and immediately started with creating a thread about how you could become a gold digger in NYC. Meanwhile, I don't even think you live here. If you don't respect yourself (as demonstrated by the gold digger thread) then why do you think you should start confronting a waitress, in order to demand respect, when all she's trying to do is earn a living?
You already disrespected her by stiffing her on the tip.
Respect? You don't seem to know the meaning of the word.
It's annoying for sure, but maybe not worth getting super upset about? I also look young for my age, and am much more bothered by outright comments on my appearance vs. the rather innocuous nickname of sweetie. (Though recently I was annoyed when a flight attendant called me "young lady" after thinking I was 19 instead of 29. But I was flying United, so I suppose worse things have happened). For me personally, it's much more frustrating when it happens in a work-related setting when it's more important to be taken seriously.
But how would you address them, without creating conflict or a confrontation? I don't really have this problem in my professional life, it's mostly when I'm out and about.
I'd tell them point blank that they are not to address me in this manner. When I take the express bus, I've had drivers call me "brotha". Sorry, we are not brothers, and I don't care how "affectionate" and "endearing" it's supposed to be. I'm a paying passenger, so it's "Sir", not unless we know each other like that, and I've filed complaints about it too. The driver got sarcastic the next time they saw me and made a point of calling me "Sir" to be cute, but I could give a rat's @ss. He stopped the nonsense because he knew I meant business and started respecting me like other paying passengers.
It's my money, I'm the customer, and you treat me with respect. Do it again, and I file another complaint, or you stop patronizing that business and leave a negative review on Yelp until the message is sent. Just because you're young doesn't mean you shouldn't be treated with the same level of respect. People think young means that you're somehow incompetent or stupid; I resent that notion. The other thing that drives me crazy is people trying to tell you how to spend your money. If you're young, you're supposed to be broke, and people become incredibly sensitive and downright nasty at you being able to go places and afford certain things. That's something else that I put a stop to. Again, my money, and I spend it how I want. Anyone who objects can kiss my @ss.
You created an account and immediately started with creating a thread about how you could become a gold digger in NYC. Meanwhile, I don't even think you live here. If you don't respect yourself (as demonstrated by the gold digger thread) then why do you think you should start confronting a waitress, in order to demand respect, when all she's trying to do is earn a living?
You already disrespected her by stiffing her on the tip.
Respect? You don't seem to know the meaning of the word.
How about you stick to the topic and answer the question instead of attacking the OP because you have a problem with the thread that was created? That would be nice for a change.
You created an account and immediately started with creating a thread about how you could become a gold digger in NYC. Meanwhile, I don't even think you live here. If you don't respect yourself (as demonstrated by the gold digger thread) then why do you think you should start confronting a waitress, in order to demand respect, when all she's trying to do is earn a living?
You already disrespected her by stiffing her on the tip.
Respect? You don't seem to know the meaning of the word.
I never claimed that I live in NYC, because I don't. I am however in town for the holidays, visiting friends.
Also, I never created any such topic, calling myself a gold digger. Since I was coming to NYC, I merely asked, where do rich/upper income men hang out in NYC.
If I recall correctly, you called me a "gold digger." I stopped commenting at that point, because I don't believe there is anything wrong with preferring to be around successful, high achieving men. Perhaps you do find it problematic, but we are not the same. Obviously, you have a right to your beliefs. What I don't like is when someone blatantly disrespects another person for having opposing or different viewpoints.
On another note, when I go to spas, restaurants, hair salons, etc, I always support the person performing the service by leaving a (15-20%) tip.
I feel very strongly about this issue and could not warrant leaving her a good tip, because I was displeased with her behavior. She didn't call me "sweetie," once, it was throughout the course of the meal.
How about you stick to the topic and answer the question instead of attacking the OP because you have a problem with the thread that was created? That would be nice for a change.
Thank you. I hope it's not common for participants to hold grudges from previous topics.
I never claimed that I live in NYC, because I don't. I am however in town for the holidays, visiting friends.
Also, I never created any such topic, calling myself a gold digger. Since I was coming to NYC, I merely asked, where do rich/upper income men hang out in NYC.
If I recall correctly, you called me a "gold digger." I stopped commenting at that point, because I don't believe there is anything wrong with preferring to be around successful, high achieving men. Perhaps you do find it problematic, but we are not the same. Obviously, you have a right to your beliefs. What I don't like is when someone blatantly disrespects another person for having opposing or different viewpoints.
On another note, when I go to spas, restaurants, hair salons, etc, I always support the person performing the service by leaving a (15-20%) tip.
I feel very strongly about this issue and could not warrant leaving her a good tip, because I was displeased with her behavior. She didn't call me "sweetie," once, it was throughout the course of the meal.
OMG, then that is your problem then!! When she first called you that and you didn't like it, it's on YOU to tell her politely that you preferred to be called Ma'am. Then you give her the chance to make a correction and she has the chance to get the tip she deserves for serving you.
Instead you sit there with growing resentment, staying silent and then stiffing a woman who is just trying to earn a decent living out of wages that she did earn and you took from her.
And you think people should respect you more? Haha.
I never claimed that I live in NYC, because I don't. I am however in town for the holidays, visiting friends.
Also, I never created any such topic, calling myself a gold digger. Since I was coming to NYC, I merely asked, where do rich/upper income men hang out in NYC.
If I recall correctly, you called me a "gold digger." I stopped commenting at that point, because I don't believe there is anything wrong with preferring to be around successful, high achieving men. Perhaps you do find it problematic, but we are not the same. Obviously, you have a right to your beliefs. What I don't like is when someone blatantly disrespects another person for having opposing or different viewpoints.
On another note, when I go to spas, restaurants, hair salons, etc, I always support the person performing the service by leaving a (15-20%) tip.
I feel very strongly about this issue and could not warrant leaving her a good tip, because I was displeased with her behavior. She didn't call me "sweetie," once, it was throughout the course of the meal.
Yes, she blatantly goes around and does this and gets away with it. I have a problem with it too. Supposedly personal attacks aren't allowed here, but she gets away with it repeatedly when she disagrees with something that someone posts, especially new members. We have people complaining about the fact that the same threads keep popping up, yet any new member that comes here is roasted if they don't post topics that long-time members agree with. What kind of nonsense is that!??
Quote:
Originally Posted by Henna
OMG, then that is your problem then!! When she first called you that and you didn't like it, it's on YOU to tell her politely that you preferred to be called Ma'am. Then you give her the chance to make a correction and she has the chance to get the tip she deserves for serving you.
Instead you sit there with growing resentment, staying silent and then stiffing a woman who is just trying to earn a decent living out of wages that she did earn and you took from her.
And you think people should respect you more? Haha.
What's this nonsense about "stiffing"? Tips don't have to be given. She has every right to not tip. Get over yourself with your holier than thou BS. I'm so sick of you acting like you're better than everyone else here.
I'd tell them point blank that they are not to address me in this manner. When I take the express bus, I've had drivers call me "brotha". Sorry, we are not brothers, and I don't care how "affectionate" and "endearing" it's supposed to be. I'm a paying passenger, so it's "Sir", not unless we know each other like that, and I've filed complaints about it too. The driver got sarcastic the next time they saw me and made a point of calling me "Sir" to be cute, but I could give a rat's @ss. He stopped the nonsense because he knew I meant business and started respecting me like other paying passengers.
It's my money, I'm the customer, and you treat me with respect. Do it again, and I file another complaint, or you stop patronizing that business and leave a negative review on Yelp until the message is sent. Just because you're young doesn't mean you shouldn't be treated with the same level of respect. People think young means that you're somehow incompetent or stupid; I resent that notion. The other thing that drives me crazy is people trying to tell you how to spend your money. If you're young, you're supposed to be broke, and people become incredibly sensitive and downright nasty at you being able to go places and afford certain things. That's something else that I put a stop to. Again, my money, and I spend it how I want. Anyone who objects can kiss my @ss.
I think the bolded text highlights the real issue.
I enjoy being at my best and living well. I will not apologize to anyone for this and next time, I will stand up for myself.
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