Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
My brother-in-law is mentally handicapped. His mother died, she used to take care of him. He is not able to handle himself, he gets some money from Social Sec. Disability, but they lowered the amount. We do not live near him and I can't understand or believe much of what he says, because he is always excited and hysterical and makes excuses. A friend is allowing him to sleep on a mattress on the floor of his apartment in Sheepshead Bay. We live many miles away in another state.
So I need to know what agency can I contact about helping him sort things out, if any?
His social security payments were lowered (according to him) because they apparently didn't believe he was paying rent. He now says he has documentation that he is paying rent. Although I am pretty sure if the housing authority found out he was paying rent to the one that has the apartment, they wouldn't like it. But at least he has a roof over his head.
Unless we have POA over him, or guardianship, I don't think I can get answers. And maybe even if we DID have POA or guardianship, we still might not be able to talk to the NYC welfare authorities in his behalf unless we were there?
You need to get the POA to facilitate this. Otherwise expect to get the runaround in circles. For my grandfather before he passed away social services wouldn't help us until the doc certified his mind was gone and we got the emergency POA. He needs a medical evaluation at a low cost clinic somewhere in the 5 boroughs.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SeventhFloor
He cant move in with you?
No. Nobody can really afford to take care of a mentally challenged individual these days. People are barely scraping by and staying mentally sane themselves.
No. I'd go nuts and I don't want to do that. I'm bad as it is. I can't handle him, he is uncontrollable, but not dangerous, but I have enough stress in my life. We're willing to give him some money but I need to get information and unless I have POA I don't know if SS disability will allow. Maybe I should speak to a lawyer. Or call SS and ask information about POA.
IF he were quiet and listened to us I might say yes. But he is not. He does his own thing. He borrows money, spends more money than he has. To give you an example of his personality, his mother sent him over to us. This was years ago. She was having a breakdown, but she was nuts also, I'm sure she would have liked to be at peace. He lasted one day with us, because he said I can't tell him what to do. Like what time I wanted him home. And I said oh yeah? It's a nice day. Here's money for a phone call to your mother. If you're not out by the time I'm coming back, I'm calling the police. And guess what? His mother blamed me for being so harsh with him because I wanted him back by 10 PM. And wouldn't take the nonsense he wanted to dish out to me. No, I couldn't live with him. That was only the first or second day he was going to tell me what to do. I hate to see him on the street, but if I can help untangle some red tape, I might do that. If I knew where to start, that's part of the problem.
You need to get the POA to facilitate this. Otherwise expect to get the runaround in circles. For my grandfather before he passed away social services wouldn't help us until the doc certified his mind was gone and we got the emergency POA. He needs a medical evaluation at a low cost clinic somewhere in the 5 boroughs.
No. Nobody can really afford to take care of a mentally challenged individual these days. People are barely scraping by and staying mentally sane themselves.
It's not that he's slow or retarded, if I can use that word. He is not controllable, he is not bad looking, is friendly but is in my terms a maniacal nut job. Never shuts up. Always has some crazy excuse and when I question him (kinda like Judge Judy, but I'm his sister-in-law, not a judge that might slam the book on him). I believe he can get an evaluation if he is willing to go to the doctor. He already qualifies for Soc.Sec.Disability. He claims he needs money for bus fare, etc. I checked NYC transit website, and if they have a valid note he could get half-fare. But he isn't doing what he needs to do. Such as go to the doctor and get the ball rolling. He is capable. Sooooooo I can't help him from far away, his other brother who is better off than we are gave him a few thousand a few years ago right after their mother died, won't give him any more, and the person in question blew it all, saying he paid back the money to the people he owed money to. Which is hard to understand why he owed so much money since he was living with his mother, etc. And didn't pay her anything. When I asked him what did he do with all the money his brother gave him, he said he paid people back money he owed. I said, "You didn't keep any for yourself?" He said, "Do you think I should not have paid them back?" And that's when I stopped really reasoning with him.
OK, I just got some news. I spoke to the man he's been staying with, a childhood friend. His friend is probably in his 50's now. He told me that my BIL has not paid anything towards his upkeep for months. The BIL said he has, so I thought at least that end was covered. So now I realize why my BIL does not want me to speak to anyone he has any 'relationship' with. Sad, really really sad. I hate to see him on the street, but now I guess I should look for shelters in NYC, lol, if there are any. And it's cold there.
OK, I just got some news. I spoke to the man he's been staying with, a childhood friend. His friend is probably in his 50's now. He told me that my BIL has not paid anything towards his upkeep for months. The BIL said he has, so I thought at least that end was covered. So now I realize why my BIL does not want me to speak to anyone he has any 'relationship' with. Sad, really really sad. I hate to see him on the street, but now I guess I should look for shelters in NYC, lol, if there are any. And it's cold there.
There is probably nothing you can do unless a court declares him uncapable of handling his affairs and has him committed. Clearly he's sane enough to say no. He's not willing to work with you, and therefore you cannot talk to any welfare agency on his behalf unless he gets either suicidal or homicidal.
If his mother had set things up for him to live independently when he was much younger that might have helped. But you even attempting to do anything at this point is far too late.
There is probably nothing you can do unless a court declares him uncapable of handling his affairs and has him committed. Clearly he's sane enough to say no. He's not willing to work with you, and therefore you cannot talk to any welfare agency on his behalf unless he gets either suicidal or homicidal.
If his mother had set things up for him to live independently when he was much younger that might have helped. But you even attempting to do anything at this point is far too late.
I agree. I just spoke to his roommate again (always I have questions), the person he's renting space on the floor from. And he, the roommate, said he can't throw him out because he feels sorry for him. When I explained that his own welfare was at risk, the roommate said, "What can I do? I can't throw him out..." So I figured ok, if he can't throw him out that's the answer to that problem. What a mess people make for themselves. The end of that. Thanks for your response.
OK, I looked there and got a few numbers to call soon. Thanks. His roommate said that even though he lies and isn't paying him money, he can't throw him out because he feels sorry for him. If that's the case, and because he has lied to me continuously, I doubt we'll send him any money. But I will call some numbers the website gives and see what they offer in terms of housing. Just so I have something to say to the person that is keeping a roof over his head. Now he tells me my BIL owes him money, too. :-) Oh well I say.
OK, I just got some news. I spoke to the man he's been staying with, a childhood friend. His friend is probably in his 50's now. He told me that my BIL has not paid anything towards his upkeep for months. The BIL said he has, so I thought at least that end was covered. So now I realize why my BIL does not want me to speak to anyone he has any 'relationship' with. Sad, really really sad. I hate to see him on the street, but now I guess I should look for shelters in NYC, lol, if there are any. And it's cold there.
He needs to move to SF if he wants to be homeless or somewhere warmer. The weather up here is more insane than it's ever been. They lock homeless up but you won't be kept with 3 hots and a cot for long just for that. Prison system is backed up for misdemeanors. So he'll be out in the cold again within a few days or so.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
