Born and raised in outer boros, and don't know manhattan? (Greenwich: apartment, neighborhoods) - New York City - New York (NY) - City-Data Forum

cmsvmom · 05-23-2008, 10:46 AM

I thought this was strange, but maybe it is just me.

My son is a student at a college in Manhattan, and dating a girl from the Bronx. She was raised in the Bronx. She goes to college in the Bronx. And he sees her mostly in the Bronx, because he works there.

She's lived her whole life in NYC. She's 21. Never been much of anyplace else. My son was born in Queens, and moved with us as a small child to central/northern NJ. He has spent a lot of time in Manhattan tagging along, and we also did a lot of things in NYC with our kids.

So I met them for lunch the other day, on the upper west side, by columbia, at the subway stop on broadway. He had to drop something off at an apartment on Riverside Drive, and then we went to one of the restaurants in the area. While we were on RSD, she looked across the street and asked "OH! Is THAT Central Park?"

So I answered "No, that is Riverside Park. Central Park ends at 110th street". We had a little talk about Manhattan streets then, and it was clear that she did not know that Fifth avenue is the divider in most of Manhattan for east and west side, or that RSD was a pretty far walk from Fifth ave.

Later in the restaurant (still near Columbia) , she indicated that she thought Greenwich village was close by. I asked "How do you not know these things? You grew up in NYC!" She said oh, no, she grew up in the Bronx, and didn't get to "the city" much. She'd never been to midtown except on dates with my son. And her family thought that Columbia University was in Harlem. My son gave her a confused look then and said "no, we're near Harlem. This is Morningside Heights."

Is this common for young people from the outer boros to know about as much about Manhattan as a tourist? Is it really such a different world?

Henna · 05-23-2008, 11:19 AM

I met a fairly well-known playwright who teaches writing at a college (or "the college"?) of Staten Island and she said that many of her students had never been to Manhattan. Obviously she wasn't too pleased by this.

You sound not pleased either. Are you really trying to find out whether this is common or are you trying to figure out if this young woman was not raised well enough to be dating your son?

Sorry if this sounds harsh - I can actually understand your concern, but probably best not to bring up this concern (if it is actually a concern) with your son.

Irish Eyes · 05-23-2008, 11:38 AM

Most people who were born and raised here don't actually consider Manhattan to be the center of the universe. It's a little odd that she isn't more familiar with the general logistics, but I don't think it's anything to worry about. My husband had only been to Manhattan a handful of times before we started dating and he lived in Brooklyn his whole life.

Henna · 05-23-2008, 11:53 AM

I don't think you have to think Manhattan is the center of the universe in order to make sure your kids are exposed to all the learning opportunities, events, museum etc that Manhattan affords.

My parents made sure we were exposed to all of these types of things we could be (although not anything in NY State because we were too far away), even though we grew up in a suburban town and were on a limited budget. They just felt it was important to our education and outlook on life.

If we had lived a mere subway ride away from Manhattan's splendors, I can guarantee you my mother would have had us going to every museum in town and then some.

But . . .it doesn't necessarily reflect badly on the 21 year old that she wasn't given this opportunity. It's true that it says something about the priorities of the parents, but that's not a bad thing either. I know plenty of people who grew up without this kind of opportunity (maybe they had other kinds) who developed into bright, interesting, creative, curious adults.

Wild Style · 05-23-2008, 12:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cmsvmom

I thought this was strange, but maybe it is just me.

My son is a student at a college in Manhattan, and dating a girl from the Bronx. She was raised in the Bronx. She goes to college in the Bronx. And he sees her mostly in the Bronx, because he works there.

She's lived her whole life in NYC. She's 21. Never been much of anyplace else. My son was born in Queens, and moved with us as a small child to central/northern NJ. He has spent a lot of time in Manhattan tagging along, and we also did a lot of things in NYC with our kids.

So I met them for lunch the other day, on the upper west side, by columbia, at the subway stop on broadway. He had to drop something off at an apartment on Riverside Drive, and then we went to one of the restaurants in the area. While we were on RSD, she looked across the street and asked "OH! Is THAT Central Park?"

So I answered "No, that is Riverside Park. Central Park ends at 110th street". We had a little talk about Manhattan streets then, and it was clear that she did not know that Fifth avenue is the divider in most of Manhattan for east and west side, or that RSD was a pretty far walk from Fifth ave.

Later in the restaurant (still near Columbia) , she indicated that she thought Greenwich village was close by. I asked "How do you not know these things? You grew up in NYC!" She said oh, no, she grew up in the Bronx, and didn't get to "the city" much. She'd never been to midtown except on dates with my son. And her family thought that Columbia University was in Harlem. My son gave her a confused look then and said "no, we're near Harlem. This is Morningside Heights."

Is this common for young people from the outer boros to know about as much about Manhattan as a tourist? Is it really such a different world?

This is not uncommon at all. I know people in Brooklyn who have pretty much never left Brooklyn accept on a few occasions. Heck, I know people who have lived in Brooklyn all their life and don't know BK that well either. I took a family member to this Arabic food joint off Atlantic and he was shocked to see the Arabic/Islamic shops round there. He didn't even know that area existed. So, it happens.

Sherry Tucker Brown · 05-23-2008, 12:20 PM

I have to weigh in here! Although I have lived in Massachusetts for 30 years, I too was born and raised in the Bronx and knew my way around Manhattan. My friend Sharyn and I took the subway to ice skate in Central Park when we were 11!!! We knew how to take the train to 59th street and change to take the BMT (does it still exist) to Fifth Avenue. Christmas was not Christmas without a trip to Macy's to see Santa, lunch at Horn and Harduts (spel?) loved to put the nickels in, look at all the Holiday windows on Fifth Avenue, Radio City Music Hall to see the Rockette's (our next door neighbor Lilly wanted to be a Rockette) and to the City Ballet to see The Nutcracker. A Sunday afternoon trip would be to take the subway to the tip of Manhattan then take the Staten Island Ferry, just because...Oh BTW all the subway trains in the Bronx go to 42 Street? My friends and I, when we were in high school, thought it was cool to hang out in Washington Square Park when it got warm...not the summer, in the summer we were camp counselors in the "Borscht Belt."
This young lady has been raised by people that are not very adventurous?
When I finished college I worked for a city run job training program in Harlem and many of my students had never been downtown although the "A" Train goes from 125th Street to 59th Street in one stop. BTW, Washington Heights is Harlem... George Carlin, the comedian, even says he was from the white Harlem called Washington Heights, smile! My parents were not wealthy...but we, my four sisters and I were raised, by parents, (My Dad was born in the Bronx in 1905 and went to Stuyvesant High School), who made sure we saw what was available to us in one of the most exciting cities in the world!!

Irish Eyes · 05-23-2008, 12:50 PM

You can certainly go to museums and still not know what neighborhood Columbia University is in. I guess that's the part that I don't find strange at all. I imagine she's been to the museums on class trips. You can do all of that without having to know your way around Manhattan.

Henna · 05-23-2008, 12:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Irish Eyes

You can certainly go to museums and still not know what neighborhood Columbia University is in. I guess that's the part that I don't find strange at all. I imagine she's been to the museums on class trips. You can do all of that without having to know your way around Manhattan.

True, when your parents are toting you around places and you get to museums on a school bus, it's certainly possible (and likely) you won't know how neighborhoods connect. [My father is always amazed that I don't know how to drive from point A to point B in my own hometown, but the fact is that my parents were always doing the driving and I saw no point in paying attention to directions at that age.]

However the OP already told us "She said oh, no, she grew up in the Bronx, and didn't get to "the city" much. She'd never been to midtown except on dates with my son. "

And I wasn't talking about school trips to museums, I was talking about parents taking kids places. Very different in terms of evaluating the enviroment a kid has grown up in (if evaluating is what you're after).

Irish Eyes · 05-23-2008, 01:10 PM

So cutting out of school and hanging out in the village wasn't a waste of time for me. Even at the time - I KNEW IT!

Moth · 05-23-2008, 01:12 PM

I have met one or two like that. I think it rather logical for a Bronxite or a Brooklynite to spend most of their time in their respective areas as its theirs and its logistically friendly. But to have never been to a part of the same city that is a few miles away is rather...strange.