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Flipping it around why did you as Lutherans send your kids to a Catholic school? What did you expect?
A RC school insisting on teaching Catholic doctrine and attendance at Mass? I'm shocked, totally shocked.
Non-Catholics do the rest of us a favor; send your kids elsewhere if you don't like what's on offer. There are enough problems with cafeteria Catholics picking and choosing what they will or won't follow; most parishes don't need any extra piling on.
The only problem with that is most Catholic schools aren't able to attract enough Catholic(or even non Catholic) kids to stay open. That's why they keep closing and consolidating...both the schools and the churches themselves, in one wave after another. If the church wants to restrict non Catholics and "cafeteria" Catholics there will be very,very few Catholic schools left at all.
Please don't even consider a Catholic school for your non-Catholic daughter. We are Lutheran and our children attended a Catholic HS for two years in a PA city. It was "heavier" than we were led to believe. The lay teachers and religious (nuns and priests) were very nice and open-minded. However, a few of the students were not. They were made to take Catholic Doctrine, and Mass was held on Fridays. Since our kiddos were not Catholic, they had to walk to the altar, cross their arms over their chests and receive a blessing. Everyone know that they were not Catholic. There is more, but I won't waste your time.
A".
You make it sounds like your kids were forcibly marched up to a sacrificial table in front of everyone who was sitting down. This is merely what non Catholics do when they are in the communion line to indicate they don’t receive communion (haven’t walked up to the ALTAR as a catholic ever but that’s beside the point I guess). Catholics who don’t wish to receive also do this (there are reasons Catholics won’t receive).
One of my kids went to catholic HS and one his middle school classmates who was Jewish went as well. This is ALL spelled out in the handbook but not really sure why it needs to be. That kid lasted a year and I can’t blame him. Also as far as making friends most of the kids in a Catholic HS went to grammar school together and do tend to be cliquey because of that - not because they can tell other kids aren’t catholic. That’s why we got our DS involved with the school the summer before.
DS was a solid C student before we sent him to that school. He’s about to graduate from NC State summa in 3.5 years. Didn’t talk to us for a week when we told him he was going to that HS and now acknowledges it was the right place for him.
You make it sounds like your kids were forcibly marched up to a sacrificial table in front of everyone who was sitting down. This is merely what non Catholics do when they are in the communion line to indicate they don’t receive communion (haven’t walked up to the ALTAR as a Catholic, but that’s beside the point, I guess). Catholics who don’t wish to receive also do this (there are reasons Catholics won’t receive).
One of my kids went to catholic HS and one his middle school classmates who was Jewish went as well. This is ALL spelled out in the handbook but not really sure why it needs to be. That kid lasted a year and I can’t blame him. Also as far as making friends most of the kids in a Catholic HS went to grammar school together and do tend to be cliquey because of that - not because they can tell other kids aren’t catholic. That’s why we got our DS involved with the school the summer before.
DS was a solid C student before we sent him to that school. He’s about to graduate from NC State summa in 3.5 years. Didn’t talk to us for a week when we told him he was going to that HS and now acknowledges it was the right place for him.
I didn't say anything of the sort. We attend a denomination where we have an "open table." Any Christian may receive. Absolution is given during the service - we don't have Confession, so if the person has sinned, they repent silently during the prayer. The only students at this school who didn't partake of communion were the 15 or 16 non-Catholic students. I didn't say that my children were traumatized or "marched up to a sacrificial table" - those words add drama that I did not imply. I only said that it made my daughter feel different. It didn't bother my very easygoing son. My daughter would become upset if she did not fit in.
I'll agree with you that the students in High School tend to be "cliquey" because most attended a "feeder school" in grades 1-*, and they already know each other. That makes making friends that much harder.
It's not the other kid's fault. It's just that they have known one another since first grade. But, again, for my daughter, who wasn't very skilled socially, this upset her. On the other hand, my son made friends quickly.
There was a private Protestant-affiliated school that wasn't very religious at all. For us, 60K per year per kid was out of the question. Its affiliation was light. There was no chapel, nor were there any religious classes.
I was not attacking Catholic schools. I just made suggestions to the OP that I thought would be more appropriate. Especially since she is Jewish and NYC offers many more possibilities for students who want to attend independent schools than the small PA city where we lived.
I don't know if all Catholic High Schools are as "heavy" as the one my children attended. I was surprised about how Catholic this High School was. Praying before every class, weekly Mass, and a Religion class that I can't imagine a non-Catholic student needing or enjoying. Since my two were confirmed, and much of the doctrine is similar, it was tolerable.
Anyway, congratulations on your son's academic improvement! Going from a "solid C" student to a B+ student is no small feat! I'm glad to hear that it turned out well for him. What is he doing now?
One of my kids went to catholic HS and one his middle school classmates who was Jewish went as well. This is ALL spelled out in the handbook but not really sure why it needs to be. That kid lasted a year and I can’t blame him. Also as far as making friends most of the kids in a Catholic HS went to grammar school together and do tend to be cliquey because of that - not because they can tell other kids aren’t catholic. That’s why we got our DS involved with the school the summer before.
DS was a solid C student before we sent him to that school. He’s about to graduate from NC State summa in 3.5 years. Didn’t talk to us for a week when we told him he was going to that HS and now acknowledges it was the right place for him.
All true!
My son's Catholic school was twenty-five miles away from home. Only naturally, those local students formed cliques from their local grammar school connections. Not only did the local kids know each other for eight years, but their parents were neighbors and friends. I doubt it would be different with a secular school. However, boys schools are far less cliquey than any girls school. Over time, my son made friends in his honors program.
He received the best education. It had daily prayers and Mass on Fridays. It also had Muslim students who attended Mass without receiving or approaching the alter for the blessing. It might be easier for Muslim students who believe in Mary was pure, courageous, faithful and free from sin.
Please don't even consider a Catholic school for your non-Catholic daughter. We are Lutheran and our children attended a Catholic HS for two years in a PA city. It was "heavier" than we were led to believe. The lay teachers and religious (nuns and priests) were very nice and open-minded. However, a few of the students were not. They were made to take Catholic Doctrine, and Mass was held on Fridays. Since our kiddos were not Catholic, they had to walk to the altar, cross their arms over their chests and receive a blessing. Everyone know that they were not Catholic. There is more, but I won't waste your time.
Also look into The Fieldston School, in Riverdale - https://www.ecfs.org/ - I would have sent my children there in a heartbeat over the Catholic School. had that been available to them.
Also Beekman
I call bull feathers. 50% of Black Protestant and Asian Muslim kids I grew up with attended Catholic school and they weren't treated poorly.
I don't know if all Catholic High Schools are as "heavy" as the one my children attended. I was surprised about how Catholic this High School was. Praying before every class, weekly Mass, and a Religion class that I can't imagine a non-Catholic student needing or enjoying. Since my two were confirmed, and much of the doctrine is similar, it was tolerable.
All schools of the Catholic tradition will have a theology 4-year requirement for graduation, whether your child is Catholic or not, they will be required to successfully complete it. My experience -I went thru NYC Archdiocese grammar school and a private, Catholic HS (which means not funded by the Archdiocese) along with several friends that were not Catholic or of a Christian faith.
What the courses are will vary by institution but you can be sure there will be a scriptures class- as in the study of the Catholic Bible and all 4 will be taught based on the Nicene Creed (the foundations of the Catholic faith).
My high school years were:
Grade 9- Old Testament
Grade 10- New Testament)
I can't remember what grade 11 but want to say a "death and dying" type of curriculum
Grade 12 was a Religions of the world type course with the main focus of the remaining 2 of the "big 3"- kind of rounded out/built upon what we learned in 9&10.
I just looked at my school's present curriculum for the theology requirement:
Grade 9: Foundations of Catholicism
Grade 10: Salvation History (application of scripture towards "all God has done for humanity", moving onto Jesus Christ, the Apostolic foundations of the Church, blah, blah and into the present day workings of the Church)
Grade 11: Christian Morality (reads as an ethics class from the Catholic belief system)
Grade 12: The World's Religions
Both my grammar school and HS did have sacramental and mass attendance requirements. (no one need to participate unless they chose to but you did come and sit quietly and maybe meditate or something)
We went to Mass every first Friday of the month in K-8, with Sunday Mass mandatory to make your sacrament of Penance & Reconciliation, Communion, and Confirmation. That was tracked by your envelope with some $$ in it landing in the basket. :P
My family, while generationally Catholic as far back as it goes (Irish ancestry) we are not particularly devout or strictly adherent, and I can remember the meeting between the principal and my dad re: my inconsistent attendance at Mass in the lead-up to Confirmation. Went something like this:
Sister C: Thank you for coming, bla, blah Charmed has not attended all Sunday Masses as required for Confirmation. In fact, our records show she has only put an envelope in the basket 2x in the last 6 weeks. We have only 8 envelopes from September through today (I want to say it was March or April and confirmation was early May).
My Dad: Sister, I don't force my child to attend Mass as they are old enough to make their own choices. If this is about the LACK of funds that would have been placed in the envelope- you can add it to my monthly tuition bill. Same as you are doing for the fees associated with making Confirmation (the robe, name sash, etc). If that doesn't satisfy you- I can take her over to the Lutheran school and I'm sure they will be happy to have her confirmed there.
* END OF DISCUSSION *
Young Charmed made her confirmation as scheduled, and in fact, did not attend any further Sunday Masses to do so. I actually didn't attend another Sunday Mass for about 25 years.
An even better conversation with a nun took place in hs when I was "busted" by a faculty member smoking- IN FRONT OF MY OWN DAMN HOUSE!
All schools of the Catholic tradition will have a theology 4-year requirement for graduation, whether your child is Catholic or not, they will be required to successfully complete it. My experience -I went thru NYC Archdiocese grammar school and a private, Catholic HS (which means not funded by the Archdiocese) along with several friends that were not Catholic or of a Christian faith.
What the courses are will vary by institution but you can be sure there will be a scriptures class- as in the study of the Catholic Bible and all 4 will be taught based on the Nicene Creed (the foundations of the Catholic faith).
My high school years were:
Grade 9- Old Testament
Grade 10- New Testament)
I can't remember what grade 11 but want to say a "death and dying" type of curriculum
Grade 12 was a Religions of the world type course with the main focus of the remaining 2 of the "big 3"- kind of rounded out/built upon what we learned in 9&10.
I just looked at my school's present curriculum for the theology requirement:
Grade 9: Foundations of Catholicism
Grade 10: Salvation History (application of scripture towards "all God has done for humanity", moving onto Jesus Christ, the Apostolic foundations of the Church, blah, blah and into the present day workings of the Church)
Grade 11: Christian Morality (reads as an ethics class from the Catholic belief system)
Grade 12: The World's Religions
Both my grammar school and HS did have sacramental and mass attendance requirements. (no one need to participate unless they chose to but you did come and sit quietly and maybe meditate or something)
We went to Mass every first Friday of the month in K-8, with Sunday Mass mandatory to make your sacrament of Penance & Reconciliation, Communion, and Confirmation. That was tracked by your envelope with some $$ in it landing in the basket. :P
My family, while generationally Catholic as far back as it goes (Irish ancestry) we are not particularly devout or strictly adherent, and I can remember the meeting between the principal and my dad re: my inconsistent attendance at Mass in the lead-up to Confirmation. Went something like this:
Sister C: Thank you for coming, bla, blah Charmed has not attended all Sunday Masses as required for Confirmation. In fact, our records show she has only put an envelope in the basket 2x in the last 6 weeks. We have only 8 envelopes from September through today (I want to say it was March or April and confirmation was early May).
My Dad: Sister, I don't force my child to attend Mass as they are old enough to make their own choices. If this is about the LACK of funds that would have been placed in the envelope- you can add it to my monthly tuition bill. Same as you are doing for the fees associated with making Confirmation (the robe, name sash, etc). If that doesn't satisfy you- I can take her over to the Lutheran school and I'm sure they will be happy to have her confirmed there.
* END OF DISCUSSION *
Young Charmed made her confirmation as scheduled, and in fact, did not attend any further Sunday Masses to do so. I actually didn't attend another Sunday Mass for about 25 years.
An even better conversation with a nun took place in hs when I was "busted" by a faculty member smoking- IN FRONT OF MY OWN DAMN HOUSE!
Are there any Lutheran schools left in city? Know Trinity Lutheran on SI closed ages ago.
I think there are others in The Bronx as well. Must be in other boroughs too.
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I'm glad to hear that it turned out well for him. What is he doing now?
